Oh thank goodness I'm home!! Yay! I am so happy now, but was so perturbed an hour ago. Ok, quick plane story..
So, being freakishly tall and also being a fan of personal space, I've noticed that some people, particularly small people, don't value personal space as much as I do.
For example, I'll be standing in a grocery store aisle, when a smaller person, usually of a certain intentionally undisclosed ethnicity will come up right in front of me, brush their ass on my knee, nudging me aside and go up and grab the very thing I was looking at. Like, since they're not eye-level, they think I can't see them stepping to me or what?? It usually happens so fast that they're in and out before I can formulate an appropriate response. Anyway, it happens a lot and it irritates me.
So today on the plane, this crazy lady comes barreling in at the last second and plops down right next to me. Then she begins loudly talking on her cell phone.. The stewardess announces it's time to turn off all cell phones.. but the lady keeps yapping, unfazed. So they make the announcement *again* and the plane actually starts taking off.. and this lady is still yapping! And nobody's coming by and enforcing the "get the hell of your cellphone, asshole!" rule. So this lady could be compromising all of the plane's very *sensitive*, very *technical* equipment and putting everyone's lives in jeopardy, and no one is doing anything about it! I totally wanted to push the stewardess button and tattle, but alas.. I held back.
So then I'm just sitting there with my elbow on my armrest, where it's been for like the fifteen minutes before this jackass even got on the plane. And there's even room on the thing to share - like if she wants the front half, I could totally chill on the back half and we wouldn't even have to touch. BUT NO! This is not enough for her. She wants to nuzzle her knobby little elbow right up against mine. And then shuffle.. adjust.. rub.. shuffle.. adjust.. rub rub.. for a whole fucking hour!!
"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!!" That's what I wanted to yell. But alas.. I held back.
Anyway, then I got to the baggage claim and a whole new little person nudged in front of me and waited for their luggage. I'm like, what do I look like? A wall? A pillar? HELLO PEOPLE! I'M A FUCKING HUMAN BEING AND I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE! AND I CAN SEE YOU! AND I CAN FEEL YOU! AND I'M A LOT BIGGER THAN YOU! AND, INSTINCTIVELY, YOU SHOULD BE AFRAID! BECAUSE I COULD VERY EASILY "ACCIDENTALLY" ELBOW YOU RIGHT IN YOUR STUPID, TINY LITTLE FACE!!
{{breathe}} ...demons out....
New Roof - Summer 2019
3 years ago
16 comments:
As a relatively short person, i must say that i do love a nice elbow to the face, so please proceed.
Your mom goes to college!
your trip back was so bad because you were sad that you were leaving me...
now that i have stopped laughing, i can focus on the important point of this story - that everyone under 6'4" is a "little person".... interesting theory, claudia. maybe i can get a job as a midget rodeo clown.
haha well being probably the shortest person (at 5'1) posting i will say that i value my personal space also. i hate when people get to close to me, even if they arent touching me, if they are too close, it freaks me out. its like people just dont understand the bubble theory.....
Aaah Claudia, we all just want to be close to you and feel even just a *little* of your greatness. Think of it as, well, a *blessing* LOL!!
BTW - I hate my personal space being intruded on too! Well, unless they're young, hot, athletic, surfers or something.
I wasn't saying anyone under 6'5" is a midget. Most of the tiny people that invade my personal space are around 4'10" and of Asian descent. I didn't want to be racist though. I'm thinking maybe it's a cultural thing???
Being a frequent air traveler, I totally feel for ya on the armrest issue. I always share the armrest! Someone gets front and the other gets the back. Don't people understand these unwritten rules!!!
Why didn't you just adjust yourself to the front half? Admittedly you had first choice, but sometimes jackasses like this force a readjustment.
why dont they just put in extra arm rests? even in movie theaters....that just bugs me....
Ever think about licking your arms all over very noticeably, and THEN putting them against HERS? Because that's what I would do, no question.
Sometimes I get really annoyed and say, "Excuse me (bitch)" (but the "bitch" part is silent most of the time.)
You could also act like your stomach was really upset, and ask, "Do you mind if I spread out a little? I have really bad gas."
Coal: RotFL!!!! Bitch!!! --but silently--
Gnat - I was working on files for work, holding my files on my lap so I only had once choice for arm placement.
SCM - You are too funny. I could totally see you licking your arm in this situation. I actually did wonder for a sec - what would other people I know do? What would Alysia do? But I drew a blank. Shoulda guessed. You are so much more of a bigger person than me.
:-P
Dang that was grammatically awkward
! Maybe "You are so much bigger than me" works better??
"you are so much bigger than i"
Too many Hole lyrics for me, I suppose.
um, as a relatively short person, being LGD...
I have to say we truely little people deserve extra space because of course most of the time we get leaned on as elbow mats by the likes of the dearest tall beloveds.
Of course, you have the cutest elbows, even if you have this strange phobia 'bout them being touched and all - and an elbow to the face... um, that would be nicely reciprocated by another inappropriate behavior.
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