"I'm on the third day of my period."

That's what my 11-year-old nephew said today, as he played with my CycleBeads. He thought they were so bitchin', he wore them all day. Wish I had taken a picture, but alas...

Swimming with Sharks

Last Friday, I went to this seminar on how to defend DUI cases. It was put on by the state bar, so both prosecutors and defense attorneys were allowed to attend. Only about 4 prosecutors went, though, including myself; compared to about 200 defense attorneys that were there.

The stuff the lecturers talked about was vile. Lots of tricky-dick kind of stuff, lots of bad-mouthing of M.A.D.D., spreading of misinformation, and bragging about getting off guilty-as-sin drunk-drivers.

I wanted to argue against a couple of points that got brought up, but, really, it would have been like spilling a droplet of blood into an ocean full of sharks. No thanks.

Show me you're nuts!

Can't decide if this Boys Gone Wild video is an awesome idea or just plain nasty. Maybe a little bit of both? The idea that these jerk-offs got tricked into becoming gay porn stars is cool, but the thought that they are actually doing it because they think they're hot shit is gross.

Holy Administrative Professional's Day, Batman!

Oh crap. I just realized it's Secretary's Day tomorrow. There are 8 people in my office that I need to buy for - 6 women and 2 men. Alright, I need suggestions. (And, no, Cyclebeads are not an option!!!)

Speaking of babies....

I assume that I have Greg to thank for the CycleBeads I got in the mail today. So thoughtful. :-)

Welcome Baby CJ!

Born today around 4pm... 8 lbs 6 oz. Rumor has it he's got a small bit of blond hair. Wish I had pics, but you know how paranoid his mom is. Congrats familia Housekeeper!!

Excitedly awaiting...

Housekeeper's baby (CJ), scheduled for delivery today. Keep us posted!!

Guess I'll Go Eat Worms

Time for more pics:

Karaoke Fun w/ the Clark HIgh School Cross-Country Team

The Return of Greg

Brokeback Birthday

That's right, EVERY BIT of wit and guile!

As you know, Nick (my best-guy-friend-from-college) & his wife Laura (the English honey he met while studying abroad) just had a baby, which they named Pippa (so cute). Before her birth though, they put on a contest to see who could come closest to guessing the baby's name. They made a huge chart of potential names and held elimination rounds. So, guess who won?

Here's what Nick had to say...

"There were many shots for the throne, but not surprisingly Grandmum Carol was able to hold them all off. Until the very end. That’s when our good friend Claudia, using every last bit of wit and guile in her possession, made one last shot for the prize. Both Claudia and Grandmum’s picks (Tegan and Zoe, respectively) made it to the final four in round 6, but only Tegan advanced to championship round in round 7. While it didn’t win over Pippa (it was real close), Tegan gave Claudia just enough points to take first place. Two incredible contenders, one incredible finish. Congratulations, Claudia, on winning the first Great Reese Baby Bracket! And good job, Mom, for the dominating performance you displayed throughout the game."

So, the next obvious question then is: WHAT DO I WIN???

Meka-leka-hi-meka-hani-ho...

Isn't it weird how the more crap they give you to do, the less you want to do any of it?

Your cats could be dying... or they could be just fine. Let's wait and see.

...Huh?

This was pretty much the advice I got Monday from the vet.

As if getting the damn cats to the vet wasn't stressful enough on it's own.

Brian's cat Enid is a hellion. I had to chase her around the house several times before I could snag her and cram her crazy, flailing, 18 lb. cat ass into the carrier. I was panting and sweating and 15 minutes late for the appointment once all was said and done, but at least I got them both there.

So after that kind of stressful morning, I was not needing the kind of news I got from the vet.

Re: Enid (the white one)
Complaint - She's been having some behavioral issues. Namely, she likes to pee on the couch.
Diagnosis - The doctor said worst case scenario, she has a life-threatening kitty disease that's causing her to act batty. Best case scenario, it's a behavioral problem and we have to put her on kitty prozac. (Unless we like sitting in cat pee).
Prognosis - We're now awaiting test results to find out her fate.

Re: Moka (the black one)
Complaint - One of the pads on his paw was peeled back.
Diagnosis - Worst case scenario, he has a life-threatening kitty disease that's going to make all his pads fall off before killing him. Best case scenario, it's a simple cut.
Prognosis - We're keeping an eye on him for further signs of death.

While I appreciate the doctor's honesty with all of this, I can't help but think that maybe there was a better way for him to express to us that the cats needed further testing and observation, which did not involve making me paranoid that my babies were on the brink of death.

Happy Baby Pippa!

Congrats to Nick & Laura on their new baby girl, Pippa. She's a month early, but she's healthy and cute, so why not?? Props to mom on her natural childbirth too!

My invisible voice

I think I sometimes talk at a tone level that some people just can't hear. Yesterday at Chipotle (where I eventually ended up having dinner - just my husband and me), I said something loudly and clearly (I know it was loud and clear, cuz even my poor deaf hubby heard it) to the lady behind the counter. She was like a foot and a half away from us, looking down, sorting salad or something. Anyway, she didn't even flinch! I said it again, and still no response. Guess I was just using my invisible voice again...

Should I Be Mean?

(FYI - I wrote a long post yesterday, but couldn't publish it b/c Blogger was being lame and not letting me post pictures. So whatever, It's passed. Stupid Blogger.)

Anyway, onto seedier things. So I'm torn on what to do on something. Yesterday my friend who's in town for a few days made plans with me. Full-on, time-specific dinner plans. Well, 15 minutes before we're supposed to meet for dinner, he tells me he's decided to go and feed homeless people dinner with his other friends instead. While it's fine and dandy that he went and fed homeless people, the fact remains - I was dissed!

We have plans tonight to go to jumpy-land. Now, in reality, I hate jumpy-land b/c it makes my bum knee hurt every time I go. But, as of yesterday, I was willing to forget this minor detail because I wanted to show my friend a good time. Now, all I want to do is tell him I'll be there at 7pm and then not show up. (Take that sucka!!)

I understand, however, that this move could be viewed as vindictive and immature. Still, I can't seem to fight off the desire to do it. Can I get some advice on what the proper response is in this type of situation please? From the cool, collected, objective point of view, I mean.

Thanks.

One more

Scary prom pictures

These are off an email forward I got. Maybe that quincenera dress wasn't so bad after all, eh??

Old news

A few weekends ago, James and I went down to watch some of my old air-hockey friends compete in the 2006 USAA World Air Hockey Championships. I was waiting for James to email me the photos he took of the final match, but he never did, so all you get is that old 2000 World Championships photo there.

Anyway, the tournament was as exciting as ever. Our pick came in third. His final game was VERY emotional. I know, that sounds ridiculous. But if you ever saw a professional air hockey game, you would understand. It's intense.

I didn't compete this time around cuz I am WAY out of practice. But, as long as I can get people to practice with me, I plan on playing next year. As soon as James gets back into town, we're going to pull off the old pink and white gels and get to it.

Cherry-pickin' daddies

So the other day I'm at Starbucks, looking at the menu, obliviously asking the clerk questions about the drinks. When I eventually make eye contact with him, I realize that I know him. It's my high school tech-theater teacher! (Awkward!!)

"Mr. Madsen?" I say. "Yes, it's me," he says, looking slightly disappointed that I recognized him.

We chatted a bit about his daughter, who was a few years behind me in school. We also talked about this group of kids he used to cherry-pick to star in the school plays and for the big techie jobs. It was always the same kids.

Turns out his daughter (who he used to cast in everything) is a waitress and struggling actress here in town. The other kids got married and got regular, non-theater jobs.

For some reason this all made me very happy. What this meant was that Mr. Madsen was terrible at spotting potential and terrible overall at making smart decisions. Otherwise, his pupil-picks would all be stars now (or at least working in the theater industry) and he wouldn't be 65 and working at Starbucks. No wonder he never picked me to be Head Lighting Designer! This explains everything!

I had no idea that this bothered me until that moment. I can't help but wonder. Would things have been different if this teacher had encouraged me to be a lighting designer? Afterall, I went and pursued a journalism degree after my Creative Writing teacher, Ms. Carducci, told me I would be a famous writer someday. And I went to law school after a professor told me I would make a great lawyer. I guess we'll never know. It's too bad this guy wasted all his cherry-pickin' skillz on the wrong kids.

Slackers don't mack and mackers don't slack.

Apparently, I'm no macker. This is just a real-quick shout out to my homies who still check my hobo-blog. I'm sorry cuddlies. I'll try to make it up to you w/ more lurid pictures soon enough though. I just did two trials. I got findings of Guilty on 4 out of the 5 charges. Woo! Only five trials left to go....

Stolen quiz

I stole this from Shannon. Here's who I am:

What Exploding Dog Art Are You?

You are "I Think I Need Some Space To Think!" How clever... just stop thinking so much though. Life isn't that hard to figure out.
Take this quiz!








Quizilla |
Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Still paying for it...

I'm STILL paying for my little quest to be on TV for the World Series of Pop Culture!!!...

1. Plane ticket to Dallas - $250
2. Hotel room for 3 nights - $90
3. Meals & transportation for 3 days - $150
4. 1 work day of vacation taken off - $???
5. Plane ticket to baby shower in Reno this weekend - $150

Attendance at the baby shower was part of our negotiations. My friend wouldn't let me take her husband to Dallas unless I caved on the baby shower. There's somethig SO not right about that. Anyway... so yeah, that's where I'll be from tonight until Sunday night... making good on my deal with the devil. :-P

Fak fak fak

I gotta do this fast. My husband is going to be so pissed when he comes home and finds out that I haven't done anything all day except play on the computer . So here are the pics that I failed to label/upload before (including more fun quincenera pics just for Shannon), plus pics of last night's dildo party. Vanessa did an amazing job. And we're all very excited to see how Rebecca's benwa balls experiment goes. So anyway, here's a little taste followed by all the new links.


V's First Dildo Party

More Quincenera Pics

Mas photos en Dallas

Moustache Party

James/Scott's Birthday