Aa, segatakai desu!

That means "Oh, they're tall!" in Japanese. I imagine we'll be hearing that a lot in the next 10 days. So, yeah, time's up, we're officially gone. We'll be back some time around November 9th. Here's our tour so you can think of us and where we are while we're gone. I'll try hard to find email access and to send postcards. LOTS OF LOVE!! BYE!!

Nevada Day + Veteran's Day = Love

After today, I don't have to go to work for another 19 days. YAY! And I have the okay from the vet to pick Moka up tomorrow morning. YAY! And since I have the day off for Nevada Day, I get to spend all day with my baby. YAY! AND, BEST OF ALL, I get on a plane for Tokyo in just FIVE days. LESS THAN ONE WEEK, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!

Holy TALLedo!

All kinds of stuff happened this weekend. I don't have time to get into all of it, so I'll just do one thing at a time. Friday night was the first night of Amazonfest. Because we were at the vet for a lot of the early evening, we didn't make it out to the bar where the tall girls were until about 11:30pm. By then, there were only three tall chicks left. So I introduced myself to them. Then they went back to dancing and what-not so I started to make my way out of the place. But then all these tall-lady-fanciers stopped me and asked for pictures and web site info and chatted me up. It was a very interesting experience overall. I wish I could have met more tall girls though. They invited me to the next evening's "private party," but I had birthday plans, so I couldn't make it. Anyway, here are the few pics I took:

Me and Alexis Skye


Me and some guys who wanted pictures for their tall chick collection

Moka Update #3

Yay! He's peeing on his own through his new vagina!! We still have to make sure he can do it for the next two days, but for now this is really good news!!

Moka Update #2

Ok, so he made it through the surgery, but he's not out of the woods yet. This vet said Moka is the most extreme case she's seen in 25 years. He's got bad damage to the inside of his urethra. If he can't pee on his own after this surgery, he'll have to be put down. His odds are "better then 50%," according to her.

Moka Update

So things have gone from bad to worse w/ Moka. As you know, last Wednesday Moka was diagnosed with crystals in his urethra, which caused blockage and didn't allow him to pee and made him sick.

Friday, when the vet went to take out his catheter, it wouldn't come out. Apparently, this is extraordinarily unusual, so the vet panicked. She employed two more vets to try and take out the stuck catheter, and they had no success. So they, too, panicked. They called me, and I freaked out. They said that I should take him back to the emergency vet who put it in to see if he could get it out,

I was furious. What if the original vet said to fuck off, that he didn't do anything wrong, and refused to see the cat? And what could he even do that three vets hadn't already tried? What the hell was going to happen to my cat? And what kind of hospital pushes a patient out the door with a catheter still stuck in them?

After much worry and anguish, we took Moka back to the original vet on Friday night. He managed to get the catheter out and didn't charge us anything for that procedure or to house him that night. The next day though, it was back to the drawing board with regard to treating the crystals. They put in a new catheter and then took it out Sunday and waited to see if he could pee on his own.

He has not been able to. So they asked us if we wanted to make one more attempt with a third catheter. We said no. Moka's suffered with this catheter nonsense for 6 days now, and it's cost us $1900, and we're still in the same position we were in the very first night.

Girl cats don't usually have the crystals problem, so the ultimate answer to all this crystal business is a sex change operation. We think it's innevitable in Moka's case, so we're doing it sooner rather than later. So he's scheduled for the procedure tomorrow around 12pm. I'm going in today to see him and say goodbye to his man-cat-hood forever.

:-(

The Best Birthday Card Ever

My best friend Allison prides herself on sending me the weirdest birthday cards imagineable. She looks all year long for just the right one. The less they make sense, the better.

This year, she truly outdid herself:

Front

Inside


WHUH? HA!!! That definitely takes the chicken cake. Thanks Allison & Kelly. :-* (smooches)

Animal ER

We got home around 11pm last night. I could tell something was wrong when I opened the front door. The place was oddly quiet. I didn't realize until later that it was because Moka, my baby kitty, wasn't there to greet me like he usually is. A short time later, Brian noticed Moka wasn't himself. He refused to get up. He was really quiet, except for a small, pained meow here and there. (He's usually super-chatty.) So at 11:30pm, we took him to the animal ER.

Turns out his urethra was blocked, and he needed an immediate procedure or else his bladder could burst or his kidneys could fail, and he could die. So he got it done overnight. This morning Brian took him to the regular vet. They say he needs to stay hospitalized for about 2 days.

Last night's animal ER bill: $922. Nevernmind what's coming from the regular vet.

((SIGH))

My new favorite band...

...singing my new favorite song:


good day (by the dresden dolls)

so you dont want to hear about my good song?
and you dont want to hear about how i am getting on
with all the things that i can get done
the sun is in the sky & i am by my lonesome
so you don't want to hear about my good day?
you have better things to do than to hear me say

god its been a lovely day! everything is going my way
i took out the trash today and i'm on fire...

so you don't want to hear about my good friends?
you dont have the guts to take the truth or consequence
success is in the eye of the beholder
and its looking even better over your cold shoulder

i'm not suggesting you up and line me up for questioning
but jesus think about the bridges you are burning
and i'm betting
that even though you knew it from the start
you'd rather be a bitch than be an ordinary broken heart

so go ahead and talk about your bad day...
i want all the details of the pain and misery
that you are inflicting on the others
i consider them my sisters and i'd like their numbers

god its been a lovely day! everything is going my way
i took up croquet today and i'm on fire

i picked up the pieces of my broken ego
i have finally made my peace as far as you and me go
but i'd love to have you up to see the place
& i'd like to do more than survive i'd like to rub it in your face.....

hey! its been a lovely day! everything is going my way
i had so much fun today and i'm on fire
god it's been a lovely day everything's been going my way
ever since you went away hey i'm on fire.....
i'm on fire...
i'm on fire...
so you dont want to hear about my good day?

We are so freakin' cool

Lame stuff and more lame stuff

Fat Enid, our special needs cat, had one of her special needs episodes about a week and a half ago and peed on both of our sofas, so our exciting news is that we're looking for new couches and that we're sitting on Spider-man folding chairs until we get them. Here are the boys after they managed to chuck our sofa-bed into the dumspter:

I was totally impressed. So yeah, if you have cheap, modern, gorgeous couches in tan or cream or light blue, or know of a good place to get that, let us know.

Also last week, the alarm clock I've had for 11 years finally died. Then last night the washer started leaking water all over the floor. The repairman came over today and told us nothing was wrong with it. Oh really? Explain THE FU%@ING CREEK IN MY GO@DA#N HALLWAY THEN, MOTHERFU*@ER. The water got under the Pergo, so now we may have to replace both the washer and the floor.

You know all this is happening all at once now because we have our Japan trip coming up in 3 weeks and because I actually managed to pay off my credit cards AND save money for the trip. Sayonara to that now. (The spending money, not the trip. You'd have to kill me for me not to get on that plane.)

In other lame news, I saw Employee of the Month and School for Scoundrels this weekend. Both solid C+'s. Then again, I wasn't expecting very much. Oh, and Jennifer Simpson (as my 84-year-old husband calls her) stil can't act, in case you were wondering about how those acting classes worked out for her.

BRAINS!!!

LAST NIGHT WENT FIRST FRIDAY. WANT EAT BRAINS. PEOPLE RUN. ERGHHH. PEOPLE SAY DISGUSTING. OTHER THINK WE FRIENDLY. WANT PICTURES. WE WANT EAT BRAINS!!!

PICTURES HERE.

Amazonfest

Amazonfest is coming to Las Vegas October 20th through the 22nd. From what I can tell, it's like a convention for tall-fetish internet vixens and their admirers. I think I'll go. Not because I need my ego stroked by the fetishists. Just to meet other girls who are taller than me. Should be an interesting experience.

My prayers have been answered

Good news Tori fans! The All-Tori-Amos-All-the-Time online radio station you've been waiting for is now active! Now you don't have to bother with all that other so-called "music" from other artists. Listen here.

So you don't dry clean silicone then?

This morning, I asked Brian to take my dry cleaning basket to the cleaners by his office. So he gets there, and he starts pulling out clothes, when, all of a sudden, a giant, hot pink rubber dildo falls out of the pile onto the counter. (FYI, this is the novelty dildo my sister got for a game at my now-infamous bachelorette party. I don't really have a place for it, so it's been in my closet for nearly a year. I guess when I was straightening up the other day, the dildo somehow ended up in the dry cleaning basket.)

So I asked Brian what he did at that point. What he said after it fell onto the counter. "Nothing," he said. "There's not really anything you can say when a dildo falls out of your clothes at the dry cleaner." He just picked it up, put it back in the basket and continued with the transaction.

Poor guy. I don't think he's going to be taking my dry cleaning in for me anymore after this. :-|

Sac Pics

Here are a couple pics of my recent Sacramento trip taken w/ a crappy disposable camera. (Topless shots omitted.)

Cat Lad

My 12-year-old nephew is so special. Last weekend, he decided on a super-hero alterego for himself. His name is Cat Lad. Cat Lad has the ability to make super-powerful fur-balls of doom. He also has acid-like urine and poisonous saliva. Oddly enough, Cat Lad's daytime alias is Moka Chaloka. Yeah, I don't get it either, but it's not my character.

Anyway, here's an artist's rendering of Cat Lad. (Not sure what the purse is all about.)

And here's the real deal. Here's Cat Lad:

Here's Cat Lad in battle:


Cat Lad and his mascot:

Cat Lad showing off his mad climbing skillz:

Cat Lad incognito:

Cat Lad in his Cat-mobile:

Cat Lad saving a little boy from imminent peril:

So anyway, this has been my nephew's new thing for a little over a week now. Cat Lad comes out everywhere we go. This weekend, while furniture shopping with Cat Lad, we walked past two other little boys. Cat Lad let out his signature Cat Lad meowlp. The other boys responded with their own super-hero calls. One barked like a dog and the other made a noise like an elephant. The meowing and barking and elephant noises continued until we got into the car. Children can be so special.