Wet Dreams Really Do Come True

What is my obsession with boys named Edward? First, I was "unconditionally and irrevocably in love" with Edward from Twilight. (No need to reiterate -- you guys know how bad it got.) And now, just when I think it's safe to think about guys named Edward, the lead singer of Live, Ed *EFFING* Kowalczyk, goes and flirts with me, lets me kiss him, AND PRACTICALLY ASKS ME TO MARRY HIM!!!!!!!

If I sound a little excited, it's because I am. I'm listening to Live as I type this. The guy I just kissed is singing to me. Crazy times. Anyway, onto the greatest love story ever told....

So I went to the Live concert tonight at the Palazzo pool. It was like 5 of my favorite things all at once -- my "Friday," my payday, booze, Las Vegas at night, and Live (the band!)!

Well, the show was fantabulous, as always. Love love love them. Here's me like 12 feet from Ed, who is pictured in various stages of undress (or Eddie, as his friends -- which would include me -- call him):



So after the concert, we headed over to the poolside club, and who do I run into but Brazilian Marcia from Rock of Love Bus & Charm School?! Here's her and me, BFFs FOREVER:


She was so, SO nice. And so much smaller and prettier in real life than she is on the show. She must've stopped drinking for good, because she looked really skinny. We chatted about the other girls on the show, about how she lives in Vegas now, where she works-- BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT OF THE STORY...

THE POINT IS, a little while later, Ed came in.

A crowd gathered around him. A bunch of short bitchez went up and attacked him and, the entire time, he just kept looking over at me and smiling. I'm not kidding. I was standing in front of him, a bunch of skanks were fluttering about, and he just kept looking at me. It was like a dream.

So I just went on up, cast the other bitchez aside, and gave him a great big hug. As I did so, I told him: "I'm 6'5", to answer your question. I saw you staring at me just now wondering." He seemed flabbergasted... in a good way. He said he thought I was standing on something. (Yeah yeah, I get that shit all the time, anywayz...)... Then we took a quick pic -- here:

Right after we took this photo, he leaned over and said to me, "6'5' is wonderful."

((record scratch))

I was like, "I'M SORRY, WHAT????"

And so he repeated it: "All 6'5" of you is wonderful." Oh shit. Panty pudding. He was looking me up and down as he said it too. Oh shit.

So then I poured my heart out to him. I said, "You know, I used to always say that if I could just marry your voice, I would. Just your voice. If I married your voice, I would be one happy housewife." He smiled and said, "That's very poetic."

AND THEN HE WHISPERED IN MY EAR: "My voice is single." Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.

And then I did what any classy, married lady would do in that situation. I giggled, pulled away, and said, "Anytime, anywhere."

OH SHIT.

Then my friend Alexis tapped me on the shoulder and asked to get a picture, so I asked him to take one with her. I took a way better picture of them than she took of us. Not that I'm bitter. (Ok, I am):


Anyway, then I felt bad for talking to him for like an hour while all the other skanks watched in jealousy, so I decided to let him go. But not before I hugged him again... and kissed him on the cheek.

Ho-ly crap. I just kissed my biggest rock star crush ever on the cheek. Life is amazing.

Merry Christmas!

This song gives me chills. It's Weezer singing O Holy Night.

Could it really be?

Oh fate, please don't toy with my emotions: Creed Reunion Taking Shape.

And when it's party time, like 1999, I party by myself because I'm such a special guy - er, gal

So we drove to Phoenix this weekend to see Weezer. I gotta say, it was the best show I've ever seen a band play. Rivers Cuomo is seriously different. But that's what made the show so unique. It felt like performance art. Okay, so here's how it went down...

When the band first came out, they were wearing what looked like white, full-body, painter's uniforms. And Rivers Cuomo had what looked like pantyhose or some sort of bandage around his head, with only a small hole for part of his face in the middle. It was bizarro.

Then they unzipped those suits and came out in red Weezer tracksuits. Rivers Cuomo took off the head bandage to reveal long scraggly 70s hair and a porn moustache, straight out of the Beastie Boys' Sabotage video. He was tiny and skinny and hunched over a lot, and walked kind of like a T-Rex. Painfully nerdy but in a really endearing way.

During the show, he bounced around on a trampoline. During Hashpipe, he put on a green headband, completing the 70s fitness theme.

During El Scorcho, he mounted a bodyguard's shoulders and rode him around the audience. It was awesome.

For the encore, they brought out 35 random Weezer fans who had won the opportunity to play an instrument of their choosing at the show. So they did Island in the Sun & Beverly Hills with 35 random people of all ages playing trumpets, cellos, didgeridoo, xylophone, bongo drums, etc. It was badass.

For the second encore, a roadie set up a Weezer-themed record player on stage. He got out a vinyl Red Album and started playing Heart Songs. So there we were. A huge arena of Weezer fans sitting there listening to a Weezer record. It was odd. When the song referenced Nirvana's Nevermind, Rivers Cuomo came out, kicked over the record player and started playing Nirvana's "Sliver." You know, the one that goes, "Grandma take me home" over and over. It was amazing.

So yeah, the moral of the story is, Weezer puts on a fantasic show and I hope they go on tour again soon.

Wanna know a secret?

I'm listening to Creed on Pandora, and I like it.

It's possible that I may have also attended a Creed concert before in my life.

I may have also held hands with Scott Stapp from the audience.

Exposé Radio

Remember before, how I told you about Pandora, the online radio site that creates a radio station based on the type of music that you like? Well, a few days ago I thought it might be fun to make an "Exposé" radio station. You know, the group behind such 80s dance hits as:

Come Go with Me
Point of No Return
Let Me Be the One
Seasons Change, and
I'll Never Get Over You Getting Over Me

Well, let me tell you, Exposé Radio is THE BEST STATION EVER!! I've been having an 80s latin-flavored dance party in my office every day for the last three days. Some of the featured songs have included:

When I Hear Music by Debbie Deb
Let the Music Play by Shannen
Fascinated by Company B (the one that goes "I'm fascinated by your love toy")
In a Dream by Rockell
I'll Be All You Ever Need by Trinere
Some Kind of Lover by Jody Whatley
Lost in Emotion by Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam
Head to Toe by Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam
In My House by the Mary Jane Girls
Straight Up by Paula Abdul
Every Little Step by Bobby Brown and
If It Isn't Love by New Edition

OMG, those are all my favorite roller rink jams!!!!

You don't see that everyday

This is a picture of the bathroom lines during the intermission of Video Games Live (where the Las Vegas Philharmonic played the music of dozens of popular video games). The door on the right is the men's bathrooom. The door on the left is the women's bathroom. Notice there are only 3 women in line for the women's bathroom...

Wow, that is cool

I'm a little slow on the uptake - Brian and Jesse have been talking about this site called Pandora for weeks. It's based on the Genome Music Project. Basically, it's an online radio station that plays the music you choose and suggests new music based on what you like. I have a Tori Amos Station, a Weezer station, and a Dresden Dolls station, and, I must say, they're all very good. Try it out if you're looking for a simple way to find new music.

Filthy Gorgeous

This is my favorite workout jam right now. (Sorry Britney.) The video is crazy, so it may not be safe for work. The song rocks though!!

Obligatory Blogpost for the Day

I got the new Britney album last Tuesday, the day it came out. Everyone says it's surprisingly good, but it's just okay for me. In fact, I think it's a mediocre dance/techno album, and Britney's voice gets annoying after about the first 4 songs. She just doesn't seem that into it. Like she called into the recording studio from the tanning salon or something. I just got it to listen to on the elliptical machine. Anyway, that's all I got.

Sit Ubu, sit. Good blog.

I'm going to be like my friend Todd and blog every day in November. I really do have tons to blog about. I still haven't posted last year's Japan pictures, or this year's Alaska pictures. Or my birthday karaoke soundtrack. Anyway, that's all for another time, when I have more time to edit and organize and learn how to post podcasts. For now...

Let's discuss the song "Crank Dat" by Soulja Boy. If you haven't heard it, you can catch up here. It's like the latest version of the Macarena.

So today I heard that this song, which has been playing at school assemblies and sporting events all across America, is actually one big filthy sex reference. I found that pretty amusing. Almost as amusing as the veiled sexual references contained in it. Almost. The references are hilarious, rivaling even the Sneaky Castro and the Portuguese Breakfast made famous in Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo.

Apparently, when he says "watch me... Superman dat," what he actually means is this. Yuck! And then, when he says, "watch me crank that Robocop," what he actually means is #6 here. And then I guess, in an alternate version, there's a reference to the verb "Spiderman," which actually means this.

Wow. That's really hot.

Part of me thinks this has to be some sort of clever marketing campaign aimed at generating more buzz about the song. Which has obviously worked on me. Either way, it's still pretty hilarious to think that all those mainstream folks are unwittingly singing and dancing around about filthy sex acts.

Let Me Borrow That Top

It's the new Kelly video! See how many cameos you can spot.

It's Britney, Bitch

Not really. It's just me. I'm just about packed for our trip to Alaska. We're leaving early tomorrow morning. On the one hand, I'm super-excited, and I can't wait to get a picture of me with an Alaskan salmon in my mouth. On the other hand, it's going to be rainy, and cold as fu%k, so I'm not really looking forward to that part of it.

I think I'm still a little down in the dumps about the whole Britney thing. By the way, Sarah Silverman's act was almost word-for-word the one she did for us in Vegas the week before. We must've been her test audience or something. I do have to give her props on her foresight. It was so appropriate to declare that Britney had already accomplished all she ever would after that horrendous performance. Way to call it ahead of time, Sarah.

I, on the other hand, was one of those suckers that thought Britney was going to do something amazing. I was super-jazzed to see her perform. I just knew she could somehow bring back the old Britney. That's why I took it so hard when she didn't care enough to put any effort into it. I felt betrayed. It's like, by keeping an open mind about her, and rooting for her, despite all of her horrific life choices, I feel like I was loyal. That she would be so careless with that faith just makes me mad. I feel dumb for believing in her. I also think she's an ingrate for squandering such a huge opportunity. That Chris Brown guy - oh, you could tell he was grateful for his fame. He put on a show! Jumped 3 feet in the air with all that energy, practically! Britney just acted like a baby and then put out less than the bare minimum. Just go home, Britney. You're done now.

:-(

Good samaritans with digital cameras rule!

Here are the photos of us w/ the Dresden Dolls that some nice guy took with his camera and emailed us. The second one isn't a good one of me, but I included it anyway, just for the height comparison.

Brilliant!!

Thank you to Nick for passing along this new Gunther video. It is pure internet gold. Make sure to stay for the hottub striptease! (Probably not a good idea for work.)

Kindred Spirits

How cool is it that Kelly from the "Shoes" video is in the new Dresden Dolls video?

OMG, that was SO gay.

We went to the True Colors Tour last night. For all you link-o-phobics, that's the tour in support of homo, lesbo, and trannie equality. Those gays really know how to put on a show, lemme tell ya. Even Brian, who had no interest in any of the acts, had a good time. Here's how it went down...

My primary reason for going was because I love love love the song Good Day by the Dresden Dolls. They mostly do East Coast shows, so this was one of the only opportunities I'd have to see them. All I wanted was to hear that one song. I paid $250 for two seats on the floor, to see that one song.

I didn't get to hear or see that one song. Although the web site suggested they'd be the second or third opening act, they were actually the first. The show started at 8pm. We got there at 8:15pm. They were well into their third song. They only played two more songs while we were there, and while the songs were spectacular (Coin-Operated Boy & Girl Anachronism), they were not Good Day.

"Why is my life such a Greek tragedy?," I wondered. I had to find out for-sure whether either of the first two songs were my song. I asked a couple of people, but no one could tell me for sure. Then the Dresden Dolls announced they'd be meeting fans by the merchandise table.

HO-LY CRAP. I forgot my digital camera. WHY THE F@CK IS MY LIFE SUCH A GREEK TRAGEDY???

So we ended up meeting the band. Amanda Palmer was really nice, though I think she may have been under the influence of something cuz she asked me what city we were in. Whatever. She was nice. The guy, Brian Viglione was a bit cooler. Cooler like stand-offish, not cooler like badass. But they were nice enough to sign our tickets and a tank top I got and take pictures with us, so as far as I'm concerned he was nice too. Plus, he confirmed that they at no time performed Good Day that night. OH THANK GOODNESS! (I don't think he understood why I was so happy.) I asked some guy there to take our picture and email it to me. He said he'd send it next Wednesday. (fingers-crossed)

So even though I didn't get to hear my song, I did get to meet the artists, which was really cool. Oh, I forgot to mention that Amanda really does have crazy squiggly lines tattooed as eyebrows. And she grows her armpit hair super-long like a man. So that was pretty interesting to see up close. We had to miss the Indigo Girls to meet the band, but that's okay.

The rest of the show went like this...

Deborah Harry was surreal. (She'll be 62 next month). It felt like we were watching Florence Henderson rock out. Except each time she would move a little like she was getting into the music, she would stop like her hip was hurting or like her vertigo was setting in. It did not help her rock n' roll image that she had a Florence Henderson haircut and performed in capri pants and a white, collared, button-up shirt. Poor thing just seemed confused. She was the only one that didn't come back out at the end of it all for the big finale. We figured she fell asleep backstage or something. Poor thing.

Margaret Cho was hilarious. Rosie O'Donnell was hilarious.

Erasure was the super-ultra-gayest band ever. And by that, I mean they were super-ultra-fabulous. I had no idea they were the official gay-anthem band. (Famous gay anthoms include Take a Chance on Me, Respect, and Oh L'amour.) They definitely brought out the go-go boy in all of us.

Cyndi Lauper (she'll be 54 this month) was really cool. She was the opposite of Debbie Harry. Still highly energetic and bubbly, still modern and fun. Of course the place went crazy when she did Girls Just Want to Have Fun (w/ Rosie O'Donnell on the drums). And I totally called the weepy closing number with all the bands on-stage holding hands and singing True Colors. It was nice anyway.

Even though I didn't get to hear my one song, I definitely feel like I got my money's worth. Go to the HRC website to read about what that group's doing try and make the world less hateful toward the gays.

Mmm... my ding ding dong

Holy crap, I think this guy is for real. Ok, so the other night I was watching Beauty and the Geek, and they kept playing this bizarro song that got stuck in my head the rest of the week. Finally tonight, Brian and I searched for it online and struck internet gold. Ladies and gentlemen, I proudly present to you Swedish singing sensation, Gunther. Definitely spend a few minutes looking over his myspace profile. It's well-worth the time investment. And thank you dear Lord Baby Jesus, there is also a music video. Make sure you watch until the end. That's where the money shot is.

This song's always stuck in my head.

Go JT.

Wow. Now I know exactly what I want for Xmas. (Hint hint, Brian.) This is not safe for work, I'd say.