Reverend Cladeedah

So my friend Rex is getting married and he asked me to officiate. Which is totally random, considering: 1) I'm not very articulate; 2) I'm not a minister; and 3) we used to make out.

He said it was because I was "officious." I thought that was a compliment, until I looked it up and found out what it really means. I guess I am "officious," but that doesn't seem like a good reason to ask someone to officiate a marriage.

At first I said no. I'm far too shy. But after thinking about it a while, I realized this may be one of those once-in-a-lifetime-type of opportunities that I probably shouldn't pass up. So, for now, I'm doing it.

He said I can't talk about religion or about undying love. Hmmm... makes the marriage ceremony material pretty scarce then, I'd say. Any ideas? Movie monologues?? Anything???

Guess who's back. Back again.

I'm back. Reno was cool. Nothing too exciting to report. Just checking in.

I am so out of here!

I'm going to Reno Thursday night. Be back Monday. Here's another Robot Chicken sketch to hold you over until then.

Apocalypse Pony

This was on Robot Chicken a while ago. It still makes me laugh whenever I think about it.

I am out of control...

Ok, so my new purse Tallulah already let me down. While we were driving around with Brad and Vanessa yesterday, one of her Dooney & Bourke faceplates came off. Considering how much I paid for the purse, and all this talk about how she was supposed to "last me a lifetime," I was MEGA-PISSED. Vanessa only added fuel to the fire by flaunting her new Coach baby (Demi), meanwhile ridiculing poor Tallulah for her malfunction.

So I went back to the store where I bought her. I took back Tallulah and her matching wallet of a little sister and said goodbye to the Dooney & Bourke label along with them.

For just a teensy weensy bit more, I bought this Coach Andrea Satchel. I thought the name she came with was boring, so I renamed her "Shakira, the Queen Bee."


She's freaking spectacular. You would throw up if I told you how much she cost. I don't think about it, cuz it kinda makes me a little nauseous too. THE POINT IS, this one WILL last me a lifetime gosh darnit!!!

I wish that the retarded could all be resmarted.

Sorry I've been so distant lately. I really don't have a whole lot to report.

I got my first grown-up purse on Saturday. She's beautiful and I named her Tallulah. Here she is:

I love her. Brian makes fun of me when he catches me gazing lovingly at her. He also gives me crap for spending so much money on her and her matching wallet of a little sister. It's really random that I got her. I just saw a friend with a really gorgeous designer bag and got all jealous and had to have one for myself. Weird.

What else? We saw the movie 300 the other night. I liked it for the same reasons I liked Sin City. You won't like it if you can't tolerate melodrama. But the visual effects were good, so overall I was pretty satisfied.

What else? Oh! I'm going to Reno next weekend to see my college girlie friends. I can't wait!!!

What else? Oh! I'm going to see the Dresden Dolls in concert in June. That is great great news because they are one of my favorite bands right now. They're coming with Cyndi Lauper and Erasure and a whole bunch of other bands for this big gayfest tour.

That's about it. I've pretty much been working 12-hour days this week, so I haven't had much time for anything too exciting to happen. Better luck next week.

Ok, Ok. Just one more.

I'm sorry, I'm just so obsessed. In this episode, Sarah seduces God. This is the morning after.

Hot for Sarah

Ok, no seriously. If you haven't watched it, watch it now.

Trunk Monkey

Someone sent me a video at my work email address with the subject line: "FW: Trunk Monkey." I quickly deleted it without opening it. Later, the sender asked me if I opened the "trunk monkey" video yet. I got all shocked and appalled and sweated the person for using racist slurs. I guess it turns out though that it's not a racist slur. It's just a video of a chimpanzee in the backseat of a car. Oh. My bad.