Before a new weekend starts, I HAVE TO blog about the last one. Friday night, my wonderful friends Randi, Vanessa and Kat hooked up a "fun party" (aka "dildo party") in my honor. Sadly, no cameras were available to capture the memories (a friend from work had borrowed my digital camera that day to take pictures of a "dying" relative - I missed the photo-op of all photo-ops and the guy didn't even end up dying!), but like Randi says, that's probably for the best.. So anyway, it was a really good time. I had no idea what was out there. Me. The loudmouth. The crass one. So confused. So embarrassed.
My favorite part was when the peanut gallery started asking questions. For example:
Kat: Does that stuff stick in your hair?
Randi: So if it makes his penis numb, and it's flavored, won't it make your lips and mouth numb too? (this was followed by the nastiest demonstrative response imaginable from the double-sided-dildo-loving, middle-aged sales lady.)
Hilary: Can I take the Vazoplex in the bathroom for a sec?
Dildo dealer: NO!!
Hilary: Why not?
Everyone else: Yeah, why not?
I also liked a lot of the helpful advice I got, such as: "It's not as cool as it looks - those ball bearings don't really do anything." ... "If you're getting anal love beads, I would recommend getting them in brown." ... "Oh yeah, you don't want the anal beads with the white vinyl rope, for obvious reasons."
Nice.
And, of course, I loved everything the girls got me. Is it TMI to share what I got? Some stuff is still on backorder, but here's what I know I got:
Nipplicious (nipple-tingling stuff) in Chocolate
Boy Butter (lube)
Flavored Body Paints
Up and Coming Sampler (Boy-stimulating flavored lube)
Soy candle w/ wax that doubles as massage oil in "Nob Chomper," I mean "Nog Champa" scent
Love Potion Number 9 (Girl-stimulating stuff)
A Vibrating Cock Ring &
Heart-shaped Bubble Bath flakes
Thanks girlies. Can't wait for the honeymoon - or the next dildo party!
7 comments:
i got your up and coming in the mail on wednesday. is brian going to come to my party saturday i can give it to him then since you wont be there....
Hmmm...that reminds me! NEVER EVER check CLAUDIA'S BLOG.....when your kids are around! Hehehe...
I almost have an orgasm just reading about Vazoplex! Can I put some on order? Do I need a "BOB" to go along with that?
ROFL Allison.
You know I got the vaginex in a fit of wishful thinking. I'll be sure to report back.
Jesus, I visited this site on the wrong day.
Randi - Bri's going to your party, so you can give it to him there. Thanks, and I'll let you know how it works out!!
Shannon - wishful thinking about a yeast infection?? As always, I'm so confused..
Shawna - I must have been busy playing with all the buttons on a drilldo while she was talking about the Vazoplex, cuz I don't remember anything about it. Sorry! Maybe there's a Q&A section on the site?
YNH - It's totally the RIGHT day if you ask me. You might learn something new! :-)
Oh yeah - just checked. There's a Q&A section. My two favotie parts:
Q. How do I use Vazoplex?
A. Just place a small amount of Vazoplex on the fingertip and apply directly to the clitoral area. Almost immediately, you will notice a pleasurable warm and tingling sensation.
Q. Is Vazoplex Safe?
A. Vazoplex has been tested and found to be safe, effective, and non-habit forming.
Wait, it's warm and tingly and causes multiple orgasms AND it's not habit-forming? How you figure?!
heh. that was a hilarious party. now i am wondering when vanessa is having the next one... she said something about a COUPLES' party. hee hee hee.
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