I'm spinning. Oh-oh-oh, I'm spinning.

The last 30 days have been absolutely crazy. I don't think I've watched more than an hour or two of TV the whole month. Those that know me know that's insane for me.

We closed on the house July 31st. So the whole week before that was spent dealing with appraisals, repairs, final walk-throughs, and contracts contracts contracts.

Since then, we've been packing, having utitlities switched, having hardwood floors put into the new place, having built-ins built, picking paint colors, painting, picking furniture, picking and moving mattresses, building furniture, waiting for stuff to be delivered, finding a pool guy, getting Jesse's immunizations, having his saxaphone repaired, buying school supplies, figuring out bus routes, etc. etc. etc. IT'S BEEN FREAKING CRAZY.

We finally had our big move-in day this past Saturday. And Jesse had his big first day of high school yesterday. The stressful days will continue for at least the next 30 days, I'm sure. We have to get our old place ready to sell and unpack at our new place. But at least we're halfway there now.

We brought the cats over to the new place last night too. That didn't go so well. Moka was so stressed during the car ride over, he wet himself in his cat carrier. So we had to dunk him in the tub almost immediately. Not a good way to spend his first hour at the new place. Poor traumatized kitty.

The cats are at home alone right now. I'm kind of scared to see what happens when I get home.

OMG!

We put an offer in on a house last night. It's so nerve-racking! It's a foreclosure, so there are multiple bids. You don't know what other people are bidding and you don't know whether your offer is good enough until it gets rejected and someone else's gets accepted. We're totally psyching ourselves out. Should we go $20k more? $40k more? Are we just overthinking it and throwing money away or is there another couple who wants an old house with a pool and an open floor plan in that area as bad as we do? So scary...

Anyway, here's a bad picture of the house at issue. The street view on google maps is way better. Email me and I'll give you the address. I don't want to post it here.

Fake bake

So last Saturday we went to the lake with Brian's boss and coworkers. The day before, I was still pale white, so I had to do something to get my tan on. I went to Neon Sun and used one of the high-pressure beds to get as tan as possible in 24 hours. That wasn't enough, so I got a spray tan too. The backs of my ankles had streaks from that though, so I got some Aveeno lotion with self tanner to even it out. Despite all my efforts, I still wasn't tan out at the lake. After a long day of fun in the sun, I finally got my tan (I applied sunscreen twice). My prized George Hamilton has held up all week. I'm not going to go all tanning bed crazy or anything. I might keep up the Aveeno and the spray tan, but that's about it.

The Curious Incident of the Drilldo in the Night

After my work thing last week in Tahoe, I stayed a few extra days in Reno to see my college girlfriends. I stayed with my friend Erica. About 3 days after I returned home, Erica emailed me to say thanks for the tip about getting Leslie a "drilldo" for her birthday. I didn't know what the heck she was talking about, so I just ignored it. Later, she left me a voicemail with the same message. Now I was curious. WTF was she talking about? And WTF is a drilldo?

It turns out someone had programmed a calendar alert in her iPhone so that Tuesday at 10am, while she was going about her normal work day at the insurance company, her phone would buzz reminding her it was time to buy our friend Leslie a drilldo for her birthday. Oh my gosh, that is hilarious! She said she had asked Leslie (also an iPhone user) if she had done it, and Leslie said no, so she figured it was me, since no one else with access to her phone would know how to program a calendar alert.

It started to jog my memory. I do remember messing with her phone. And I do remember wanting to put something on her to-do list. Then thinking it would be funnier if it was in the form of an alert. And if it went off in the middle of a normal work-day. But I've never ever heard of a drilldo. Why would I have put that?

The more I thought about it, the more it came back to me. I had intended to type "dildo," but the autocorrect on the phone changed it to "drill." Erica was sitting right next to me when I did it, so I just added "do" to the end of it and gave her back her phone, thinking that was ever funnier. That's not where the story ends though.

The next day, I called Leslie to tell her the funny story and she now insisted that she was the one that typed in the alert, and that I had conjured up the memory in my mind. Holy crap, was I confused. Did I or didn't I? Was it a real memory or a mental concoction? In the end, I decided that Leslie was just messing with me and that I had in fact done it and forgotten about it, then remembered later. She still swears she did it, but I really think she's just evil and taking advantage of my horrible memory. Anyway, here's your reward for reading to the end of this story.

God will punish you

Brian has a strict "no horn" policy in his car. Every time somebody cuts him off or nearly hits him while I'm in the passenger seat, I reach for his horn because I know he will never honk it himself. He's always able to fight me off before I can honk it though.

In my car, it's a different story. It's not that I'm a liberal horn-honker. I'm just not afraid to use it in non-emegency situations to communicate my distaste for what other drivers are doing.

So last night, I'm driving home from seeing Ironman (which freakin' ROCKED, btw), and I'm trying to merge onto the freeway, but this guy won't let me on. Well, my lane is about to let me right back off the freeway, so I slam my brakes and merge behind the guy at the last possible second. In a mini-exercise of wrath (a total sin, mind you), I honked my horn. Unfortunately, it got stuck.

I slowed way down hoping to lose the guy I had just honked at. The last thing I needed was for him to shoot me for laying on my horn. I proceeded to slap and punch my steering wheel in an effort to get it to stop honking. This continued for the next 15 miles. Instead of going home and waking up my neighbors at 10 o'clock at night, I pulled into a parking lot to see if I could fix the problem.

I turned the car on and off, and nothing. I got out and kicked the steering wheel, and nothing. The sound blared on and on. So agitating. So embarassing. Straight out of Little Miss Sunshine. I looked in the owner's manual, and there was nothing about the horn getting stuck. I called Brian to come help, then called Triple A to see if they could help (having to yell over my deafening horn for the lady to hear what I was calling about).

While I sat there waiting, people kept driving by and slowing down to see why I was honking my horn. Was I slumped over the wheel? In need of help? Stealing a car? I just waved them on by. Nothing to see here, keep moving along people.

Forty minutes after it started, Brian managed to get it to stop. (My hero.) Although I was tempted to test the horn to see if it would get stuck again, I resisted. I've learned my lesson. I have now implemented a strict "no horn" policy in my car as well.

Hip-Hop Hoor -- oh hell no.

I tried the hip-hop dance class at the gym last night. It was a fu$&ing tragedy. I knew it wasn't going to be pretty when I noticed that the front row was all Asian strippers in midriff hoodies and sports bras.

After five minutes of poppin' and lockin', I was ready to go. My friend Bethany wouldn't let me leave though. Later, the guy in front of her wouldn't stop looking back at her and laughing. She almost cried. I knew we should have left earlier...

I don't think I was the worst in the class. I caught maybe every 4th step or so. But I definitely did not have a good time. And it was not enough movement to be considered a good workout. So I wasted an hour, felt like a gimp, didn't get my cardio done, and hurt my knee.

But for some reason, we're going to try it again next week.

Can't... move... legs

After my weight-gain this week, I got all motivated to start hitting the gym again. I went this morning for an hour and a half. Not a sissy hour and a half, where I rest for a long time between sets and do a wimpy setting on the elliptical. Oh no, it was hard-core. I felt so good about it afterward, I decided to bike to my eye doctor and to the bike shop later on. Not a good idea, as it turns out!

I left at about 4:30. I just had to pick up my new glasses by 5. The place was only like 2 miles away. I figured 20 minutes was plenty. Not enough time, as it turns out!

Apparently, I don't pay much attention to "topography," so I didn't realize it would be UP HILL THE ENTIRE WAY. I also never really paid much attention to the way gears work, so didn't realize I WAS UNNECESSARILY IN FIRST GEAR THE ENTIRE WAY. It was 5:15 by the time I got to the eye doctor. They hadn't locked the doors yet, so I went in. I think the lady was going to tell me they were closed, but then she saw that I was pouring sweat, heaving and wearing a bike helmet. I think she felt bad that I'd worked so hard to get there just to be turned away, so she took me.

By the time I got done there and at the bike store, it was dark. I had to buy lights for my bike, actually. Which was fine. I probably needed them anyway. But then I had to bike home in the FREEZING COLD, downhill the entire way, so it was EXTRA BREEZY for me. I had snot running down my face the whole way.

By the time I got home, it was 7pm and I looked a mess. Why did I even bother putting on makeup and blow-drying my hair? I had to be at an event at 7pm, so on top of everything, I was late.

So that was my exciting adventure to the bike store. On the bright side, I got to see bunnies along the bike trail and got to eat a big sushi dinner because of the 1000 calories I burned today.

Fangirl

This weekend yielded many tales. We had our first 80's movie night on Friday, and then Saturday we took part in the Nevada Caucus. That's a long story I'm saving for later. Right after the caucus, we hopped in the car and drove to L.A. to see Brian's sister Erin at the premiere of her new play Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson. The show was great. Hear the musical numbers here.

At the show, I just about died when I saw John Krasinski from The Office. Here's me and my pal John:

He was a super-nice guy. I pretty much went up to him all fangirl-like and told him how awesome he was and asked for a picture. It was just before the show was about to start and we were both grabbing last-minute drinks at the bar. He was really nice and said thank you and no problem. Then I was all, "Wow, you're pretty tall, that's cool." And he was all, "Thanks, so are you." And that was about it. I said thanks and went into the show all jazzed.

Inside, I noticed he was sitting with Rashida Jones from The Office. After the show, we went to the premiere party in the lobby, and they were there. When she had a moment to herself, I went all fangirl on her too. I was shocked at how pretty she was. Her eyes are absolutely stunning. I was kinda taken aback. Unfortunately, I made a fool out of myself. I knew she was on The Office, but I remembered her from another show back in the day. I thought I was cool for remembering, so I asked if she used to be on the Drew Carey Show. She said no. OH CRAP. I then asked what show she did before The Office, and she said, "Boston Public?" I was like, YES!" How embarrassing... Anyway, she was super incredibly nice. I can't even stress how nice she was. She asked me my name and who I knew in the show. We actually talked for like a good five minutes about the show and who we knew in the cast and what she's going to be working on next. Here's me and my pal Rashida:

Notice how we're so close we're touching faces? That's cuz we're BFF's.

Anyway, I also ran into the guy who plays Sylar on Heroes at the show, Zachary Quinto. He's also going to be Spock on the new Star Trek show. He was also really super-nice. He introduced himself as "Zach" and asked what my name was and who I knew in the show. To be honest, I don't remember much about what we talked about because I was kinda scared he was going to kill me, like he does to most people on Heroes. Anyway, here's me and my boy Zach. See if you can spot his freaky Spock eyebrows:


So that was my weekend. I can't wait for Erin's next big premiere. Hopefully I'm allowed back for another one. :-)

Crack Band

WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO PLAY ROCK BAND FOR THE XBOX 360. It's like crack. I don't even like video games and I'm hooked on that shi*. And because it's a group game, we're all collectively hooked - Brian on the guitar, Brad on the drums, Alexis on the guitar/bass, and David and me on vocals/bass. We've gotten so far in the game that our band, The Hella Killers, has earned its own private jet. We are out of control. Trust me. Your safest bet is just not to start.

I'm a mess

CRAP! I can't find my car keys! I hesitate to say I lost them, because I'm sure they're just hiding out temporarily somewhere in my house. This is such a mess. Now I have to tow the car to the dealer, pay for a new key and for the car to be re-programmed, yada yada yada.

I also came to work without cash today, so I had to ask someone to get my lunch while they were out, and pay for it. Nice.

Now I'm trying to bum a ride home so I don't have to make my sweet, patient husband come all the way across town just to return to the other side to get home. I am such a loser.

It's only Tuesday and this week already sucks. Where's my "I'm a mess" t-shirt when I need it?