Here's one of the jackasses I ran into who hasn't changed a bit since his asshole jock high school days. I'm talking about the guy nearest to me on the right. He's referred to lovingly as "Gabe the Goosekiller" because in college, he killed one of the geese that lived on our university's lake. In his drunken frat-guy stupor, he decided to swing it around and around by the neck and then drag it back into his dorm room. After word got out that he was planning on cooking it, the cops made a friendly visit and he was ultimatley cited only for "Hunting Out of Season." Anyway, he pissed me off at the reunion and I mention him only as an example of the theory, "once an asshole, always an asshole." Anyway..
The one highlight of the reunion was seeing this girl. She was a friend of mine from high school who's now a porn star apparently. She gave me her card, which includes <--that photo minus the stars (I put those in), and said, "Here's my card. Sorry my tits are showing." No she wasn't! Anyway, then the rest of the night the boring losers I went to high school with spent their time talking shit about her and asking to see the card she gave me. Whatever. I thought it was awesome that she marched into the reunion and announced she was a porn star. It was definitely the most exciting thing that happened. Here's a picture of my friend Nancy, Jai Jai (aka Brittaney Starr), and me:
Oh yeah, one other interesting part of the night was when they started doing questions for door prizes. I won the prize for "Most Education." Take that spoiled, rich, Green Valley losers! Guess the poor, weird, mod chick did pretty alright for herself.
16 comments:
I think my reunion will kick you reunion's ass.
Yes, Shannon, I truly expect that it will. It's different for you though cuz you go way back with your class. I would probably have had more fun at yours. I would have DIED if I saw Billy O'Donnell!!!
now i don't want to go to mine. hmph.
You forgot the part where Gabe's roommates freaked out about the goose and Gabe explained,"It's all about eat'n". God...we used that line for years.
it could have been worse... the goosekiller could have been the porn star. with titles like:
splendor in the pond.
goosed!
wonder waddle.
loose as a goose.
goose in the caboose.
ok, i'm done.
i wonder who will be the porn star in my class....
Gabe the Goosekiller as a porn star is a horrifying prospect. Then again, I think you're right. He really could have gotten a lot of mileage off that goose thing. It was in all the Reno papers.
All "all the Reno papers", we have one...two if you count the News and Review...
It wsa in the Sagebrush and the News and Review, and most likely also in the Gazette Journal.
Ah...I guess having porn stars come to your reunion is a Vegas thing? glad to see you survived your reunion! The important things is is that you look HOT!
Awe, thanks Shawna. Let's make out! Just kidding, I can't. ;-)
I can't even remember anything interesting about mine. I ended up hanging out with the same guys I hang out with anyway. It was no different than any other night out except there were a lot of old faces I didn't care about then or now. The lesson I learned, similar to yours, is that nobody cares about what's become of you, and you don't care about what anyone else is doing.
I think it would be more fun to go to some wrong high school reunion and act like you're happy to see people you don't know.
Did she win "Most Likely to Be Double Penetrated by Midgets"? Just wondering. I'm inquisitive.
Holy crap! Jai Jai is a porn star? Wow. I was kind of thinking that I should have gone, but man. That is just too much. Wow. I'm in the same boat as you. I didn't care for half of those jerks in school, why should I now?
Umm, is that a license plate wrapped around your purse?
after all this time, how did I miss this blog? I never even thought to search 'reunion' in order to get your take on the event...As you may have noticed, I didn't attend. But it woulda been fun hangin with you & Nancy at the same time once again...
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