Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Honeymoon Adventures

I finally uploaded our Hawaii pics to the web. We left the morning after our wedding for Honolulu. Once there, we took a 7-night cruise to four different islands. We had an amazing time. Here are some highlights. (Click on the heading for each day to see all of our pics from that day.)

Day one: Honolulu, Oahu - Just got settled on the cruise ship.

Day two: Nawiliwili, Kauai - We went on a super-long hike to a hidden waterfall and got eaten alive by mosquitos.. It was a good time nonetheless.

Day three: Nawiliwili, Kauai - We went ziplining! It rocked..

Day four: Hilo, Hawaii - (And here's page two.) - We had separate daytrips. Brian really wanted to see flowing lava up close, so I told him to go ahead w/ out me. (The 7-mile hike to get to the flowing stuff was not really my bag..) Here's Brian w/ flowing lava though:

Days five through eight are still in the works...

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Walmart Revisited..

A long time ago I went into Walmart and saw these little babies on the shelf....

A buck for ass wipes - now that really IS a bargain!

Movie Review: Walk the Line

Just got back from seeing the Johnny Cash biopic Walk the Line. It was a'ight. Reese Witherspoon was lovely as June Carter. Joaquin Phoneix was less-convincing as Johnny Cash. I liked the movie overall though. The only things I didn't like were: 1) how it glamourized adultery, and 2) how it made Johnny Cash out to be some kind of hero, without justifying why. But the film kept me amused, probably mostly because of Reese. Final grade: B

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Gifts of love...

We'll start w/ the second greatest thing ever. Brian's dad gave us this personalized gingerbread house.. awwwwweee..

And now, behold, the greatest thing EVER - a $130 trashcan, complete with hydraulic lid and inner liner can. Awe yeah....

And since Kat gave me so much crap about registering for it before, all I gotta say now is BOOYA!

Monday, November 21, 2005

The bachelorette party...

I can't tell you how afraid I was about this bachelorette party business. First, the rumor gets out that my best friend and sister are trying to hire a midget stripper clown.. then Allison tells me to wear something I "can get wet and torn." Holy crap.. what have these girls got in store for me??

As it turns out, it wasn't so scary. We started out the evening at our gracious hostess Kat's townhouse. Allison (my best friend), Kelly (her bride-to-be) and Diana (my sister) all did an amazing job decorating.

The night's menu included hot sausage, meatballs, bananas, daquiris and cosmos..

We started the night out by playing games- there was a sexual position word scramble that went by pretty quickly (freaks)...

Then we played pin the macho on the man..

And then pass the pecker, which is like hot potato, only the potato is a neon pink flourescent vibrator that's turned on. Ah ah ah Shawna, no hands, that's cheating!

We also played a game where the girls had to mold the best wee wee shape out of a banana w/ only their mouths. Shannon bit hers in half (ouch!), and Randi's didn't look that happy afterword, which left Vanessa victorious!

The prizes that night were awesome - pregnancy tests, douche, and condoms all around!!

After the games, we opened presents, I got cake smushed in my face (bitchez!!!), then we all went out..

That's when the fun really began. We started at The Beach nightclub. I guess one of the dares was for me to bite off a guy's shirt button w/ my teeth, which I did, even though it hurt!

Only thing is, we sort of lost track of the dares b/t dancing on the stage, running around whipping strangers with the riding crop, getting into catty catfights (not me for once!!) and drunk-dialing ex-boyfriends (not me for once!)..

Still, we pressed on to the titty bar. Thing is, the titty bar was supposed to have boys upstairs and girls downstairs. When we got there though, we found out the boys had the night off. Oh well.. guess we'll have to make do with the girls then...

The girls were very sweet. As soon as I sat down, I was getting a lapdance from two girls at once. I was so shy! I just wanted to get to know them. I remember one girl said she was from Ohio and had 4 kids and only came out once a month to make some extra cash. Between all this talking, they told me to touch them, so I graabbed one booby from each. One girl had real boobs and one girl had fake ones, and it was so obvious in that moment which was which. The fake ones felt cold and hard. The real ones were warm and snuggly. Any desire I had to get a boob-job was gone right at that moment..

Fast forward.. some of the girls started taking off.. more catfights.. some crying.. it all worked out in the end. I think for the most part everyone had a nice time. I know I did. :-) Thanks to all my girly-friends who helped make the night a success.

Here are all the pics I have from that night - page 1 and page 2.

Friday, November 18, 2005

For all my fellow Tivo fans..

This is SO going to be my next Halloween costume!

Thursday, November 17, 2005

The bachelorette party and other wedding stuff

Wednesday, November 2nd

More running around for groomsmen gifts and lingerie. Also got a smog check and picked up friends at the airport. Ended the night at Kinko's cutting 111 place cards and backings. Went home to spray-mount and fold, spray mount and fold.. repeat 109 more times.

Thursday, November 3rd

We ordered our entire floral package from Costco.com. The flowers were supposed to come sometime on Thursday. Apparently they came at 9am while we were still sleeping, so the FedEx guy knocked softly and then left. I spent all morning on the phone trying to get him to come back. They said he'd be back "sometime before 4pm." That killed my entire day, which I had 1000 errands planned for. Nevertheless, I did not want the flowers to get left on the doorstep or wilt in the truck all day. So I stayed home and waited for the FedEx guy. In the meantime, I attached bells to ribbon wands...

Finally, the flowers came. I threw the GIANT CRATES in the car and raced to Brian's mom's house to put them in the extra fridge. When we started to unpack them, we realized that they had mistakenly put hot pink corsages in with our order. (Our colors were terracotta and peach.) Fudge. Oh well, no time to fret.. bachelor and bachelorette parties to attend...

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

A Wedding Story

I wanted to journal/chronicle all the craziness of my wedding week as it was happening, but didn't have a chance to before now. So now I'm going to backtrack and just try to salvage what I can remember of it. We'll start w/ Tuesday, 4 days before the big day...

Tuesday, Nov. 2nd -

After a long day of shopping and running errands, Brian and I stopped by the courthouse at about 9 p.m. to get our marriage license. Those interested in getting a marriage license in Las Vegas, go Tuesday night. There is no wait. Here's us happily displaying our ticket to ride..

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Not smart guys..

One of the nice things about putting cameras out on the tables at weddings is getting back gems like these. Real nice guys. Don't worry, the last pic doesn't make you look gay at all... Any guesses on which hairy thighs belong to whom? You can click on the photo to make it MUCH MUCH BIGGER. :-) (Hint: it's worth the effort!) Thanks for the laughs Table 6. Don't worry Table 7, you're getting your own blogpost very soon.

Hooha Party

The girls at work are so funny. I came back today to an office full of red balloons, red mylar door fringe, black streamers, glitter confetti EVERYWHERE, and black and red shoe polish all over my windows and mirror. The banner across the middle of the room read: "Kiss it Goodbye," apparently referring to my "girlhood." The shoe polish on the windows read, "Hasta la vista," "You're a woman now - don't be ashamed," etc, etc. So yeah, they had a going away party for my girlhood. They also got me a cake, a Starbucks gift card, a PF Chang's gift certificate, and lunch at my favorite spot. Not bad! I had no idea losing your born-again-virginity merited a party w/ presents, but that's cool!!

Monday, November 14, 2005

Marital Bliss

We're back from our honeymoon.. Many many photos and many many tales to come.