Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Nice guys...

Today, a girl walked up to Brian in the grocery store parking lot and asked him for gas money because she'd run out of gas. Like he always does in this type of situation, Brian offered to go get her gas in the spare can he keeps in his car. Usually, the beggars come clean after that and admit they don't really want gas, just money. This time though, the girl said okay, she'd like the gas.

So Brian is pleasantly surprised. He goes to the gas station down the street, fills up his gas can and comes back. Shockingly, the girl is gone when he returns.

The moral of the story? People suck. Why even bother?

Monday, September 25, 2006


Er-bear, one of my Reno biatchez, was in town today for business. We met for pizza and pie and gossip. I think I convinced her to move down here. (Yay!) :-) Here's us:

And here's this totally sickening couple I know:

This is what you get, when you mess w/ us

One of my girlfriends saw this site, on Doctor Phil last week. She started poking around and found a guy our other friend Chesty had dated for several years. We told her all along he was shady. We're 99.9% sure this is him.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Yo' cat is so fat...

My cat is so fat, she needs a double-wide catbox just so her big ass can fit. The other day, she couldn't quite get it all in there, so she accidentally peed on the outside. No really. She really does need a plus-size box.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

No pie for you!

I fretted for weeks about what pie I was going to enter into the pie contest. I even did a test run of Todd's famous buorbon walnut pie, but I f-ed it all up, so it just made me more scared.

It didn't help that Megan F. (creator of Pie Contest) had been preparing her pie for four months, or that she had been saving her filling in the freezer since cherry season. Or that she had a partner. Or that they talked A LOT of trash. So there was definitely an intimidation factor there.

I mulled it over in my head over and over. I went through varying stages - confusion, hope, fear, anger, denial, defiance. In the end, the pressure was too much. I punked out.

Instead of making a pie, my friend Megan S. and I made green enchiladas. In an even more brazen showing of defiance, Megan insisted that one batch be stuffed with bagged spinach. (Damn, I miss me some Megan.) In the end, we placed 2nd in the "That's Not a Pie!" category. Not too shabby.

The real reward though was the trip up there. It was fabulous to see my amazing law school girlfriends again. They are so cool & fun & amazing. And downtown Sacramento is hands-down the cutest place on earth. Oh, and a sweet girl I met up there showed me her nipples. And even let me take pictures! Oh what a weekend, indeed!

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

James Blunt or Five For Fighting?

I listen to the adult Top 40 station every day as I get ready for work (mostly for the celebrity gossip). As a result, we hear a lot of James Blunt and a lot of Five For Fighting. Brian hates both of these artists and can't tell them apart. So we have this game that we play now. It's called "James Blunt or Five For Fighting?" It's pretty self-explanatory, I guess. Brian hears a song by one of them and tries to guess which artist it is. He is really bad at this game, which totally cracks me up. The other day, I threw in a Neville Brothers song, just to mess with his head. Oh man, I laughed and laughed.

Ugly Mug

So the other day, a "friend" of mine (who shall remain nameless... COUGH COUGH Kelly) starts telling me a story. She starts it like this:

"When I first met you, I thought you were ugly, but then BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH."

So you can pretty much tell where I stopped listening.

"Are you drunk?" I asked. "No," she said.

She wondered why I was so aghast at what she'd just said. She insisted that the point of her story was to give me a compliment, but I don't know... it's hard to get past the idea that someone actually thinks you're ugly. Not just okay, or so-so, or mildy attractive. The polar opposite. Ugly. Hideous. Repulsive.

So now I have a complex. Which I honestly, truly never had before. So yeah. People think I'm ugly. That's crazy. How could I not have known something like this? I am so humbled.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Fu*kin' Turn Around, Bright Eyes

Nevermind that title, that song has just been in my head today. It's one of our favorite karaoke classics. :-)

So wow, it's been like almost a whole week since I blogged, huh? Here's a rambly post summing up what's been going on w/ me lately...

1) I dyed my hair red and cut off about 7 inches or so a week and a half ago. It's kinda subtle, but not really.

2) Went to Allison & Kelly's wedding. It was super-nice and we had a good time. We met some amazing best-friends-of-the-weekend - a young doctor from Chicago and her flamboyantly straight doctor-to-be husband. We took pictures, but Brian has the camera with him in his man-bag, so I haven't been able to upload them to the internets. Here are a couple pictures our best-friends-of-the-weekend sent us to tie you over:

The blushing brides

The Wine Ceremony


Attempting to congratulate the bride

3) Japanese class has been kicking my butt. It's 4 units and it's too late to audit. It's going to be really embarassing when I fail a community college class.

4) I'm heading up to Sacramento this weekend to see my law school girlfriends. It's going to be a pie party in more ways than one!

5) The Reno Biatches and I are brainstorming an all-girl's getaway for the Spring. Any ideas??

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Cry-cry some more...

We just un-bought the house we bought last Friday. We are so sad and emotional about it. It was just too much too fast. With better planning, we'll be able to get another house later on under much less stressful conditions.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Well at least it wasn't a bear...

I know it's messed up, but Brian and I couldn't help chuckling when we heard that the Crocodile Hunter was killed by a stingray. At least it wasn't a crocodile. (Or a bear.)

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Lesbo Wedding

In other news, my best friend is getting married here this weekend and I get to be part of the ceremony. YAY!! I also get to see some old friends from high school and college. YAY AGAIN!!

Friday, September 01, 2006

Wait, what?

I can't believe it. We got the house. I'm going to throw up. This is so exciting.

In other crazy news, I checked with my boss and he confirmed that I got a raise for my two-year anniversary. Surprise surprise!