Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Bat Sh*t Crazy

So there's this crazy lady that comes to one of my weightlifting classes and, instead of weightlifting, just does crazy, random sh*t the whole time. Before I explain, let me first paint the picture.

She's a short Latina lady in her mid to late 50's who wears a do-rag on her head and enough black eye makeup to make mine look natural. Last week, she wore a fishnet catsuit with black socks and sneakers. This week, she wore bright orange short-shorts over black leggings.

So here's what she does. While we're all concentrating on slowly doing our bicep curls, she puts her weights down and starts ghetto humping the air. I mean, really shaking her money-maker. Like a stripper gone horribly, horribly wrong. I cannot begin to describe how odd this is when juxtaposed with the weightlifting.

She also walks around the room (while everyone else is stationary), goes up and freaks on the instructor, steals the instructor's weights, tries to carry on unsolicited conversations with him during class, and does every random exercise in the book other than the one the instructor is teaching. Then she dances some more. So distracting...

Last night I was with two co-workers who had to face the sidewall in order to finish their sets without laughing. As we were leaving, another lady said something about the crazy lady being a distraction. My friend suggested we complain, since attendance in the class seemed to be dwindling and we didn't want the class to get cancelled. So we told the lady at the front desk, who didn't seem to appreciate the magnitude of the problem. So I just felt guilty afterword for saying anything at all.

Why should we care that this free spirit is doing her own thing? Well... because it's really f'ing distracting, and it's a group weightlifting class, that's why. It's not solo stripper-cise. And now one of my co-workers won't go back to the class because she can't focus on the exercises. I haven't decided yet whether I'll go back. It's like choosing whether to go to the grocery store with the crazy, homeless person versus the clean, quiet one a little further away. Even if the crazy person is harmless, you'd just rather not deal with it.

I keep going back and forth about it. Were we wrong for complaining? Should we have just minded our own business and faced the wall? Should we go back next week? What's the right thing to do here?


Sweet Coalminer said...

On the flip side, when I was in shape, I used to do my own thing when I wasn't challenged or was too challenged or when I thought the instructor was doing something wrong. Everyone is entitled to their own workout.

That said, there are crazy gym rats at every gym. At least she doesn't eat. There was a crazy gym rat in Santa Monica that used to stuff her face with protein bars and do high kicks during, like, every class.

I'm kind of surprised that you didn't just tell the lady first. That's not really like you.

Did you know that Charles has a kid?

Chrissy and Jack said...

Actually, I think you just complained to the wrong person. I worked at a gym last year for a little while (so I could have a free membership) as the front desk girl. The pay is terrible (I made $5.50 an hour!), and the job is just boring. Maybe ask the minimum wage girl to get a manager and speak to them. If it's a private gym, you could even request to speak with the owner. Ours was a private gym and the owner was there every day. If it's a big one like 24 Hour, etc., you can even go online and get the district manager's information if the local manager won't help. People are there to get in shape and be healthy, not watch some woman seeking attention. I'm just sorry that you may lose out on an excellent class. On the plus side, I bet you're learning some awesome dance moves, baby!

Bethany said...

Trust me, there's no reasoning with Lady Hector. She isn't just doing her own modifications to make the workout her own. You have never, ever seen this kind of display before.

She stands within inches of the instructor and freaks him during the class. It made me laugh so hard I nearly peed my pants.

Other than Lady Hector, the class is a good one and one of the few ones they offer after 6:00 pm so I would be disappointed if they cancelled it due to low attendance.

The gym lady we talked to was another instructor who had personally received the Lady Hector experience before, but just chalked it up to her being Latina--or in her words: "maybe it's just her flavor..." Oh boy.

Looks like we're in for Round 3 of the Lady Hector Experience next week. We'll have to take some pictures to try to give you a better idea.

Cladeedah said...

Sweetcoalminer - Believe me, I am queen of modifications in the group classes, but this lady isn't doing modifications.

I neglected to mention that she's in love with the gay instructor and our theory is that she's pretty much trying to impress him by making a constant spectacle of herself. If this was yoga, her ass would have been kicked out a long time ago. Why should weightlifting be that much different? We still have to concentrate on which muscle group we're working, on counting beats, and repetitions. Watching her forcibly dry hump the instructor makes it unreasonably difficult to do any of those things.

I really don't think this is one of those "reason with the person" type of situations. And even if it is, I'm not going to be the one to tell her to knock her pscho sh*t off. She's likely to knife me in the parking lot. Remember what happened to Selena?

Megan said...

Are you kidding? I'd pay money to have a crazy woman who made me laugh that hard in class. Embrace the crazy lady! Watch the crazy lady! Encourage her!

WHAT?!! Charles has a kid? By his wife? Who the hell is his wife?

Cladeedah said...

Oh yeah. What's up with Charles? Do you guys hang out? Who's the baby mama? You guys know Negar had two kids now, right?

Sweet Coalminer said...

I so thought about you this morning when the woman on the elliptical next to mine kept burping. Out loud. I was afraid she was working up a barf.

I didn't want to move, though, because I had 2 minutes of my 20 minutes of gym time left and I didn't want to waste them.

tres gross.

Sweet Coalminer said...

Oh, and there is no wife. A girlfriend.

No, I hadn't talked to him for ages and out of the blue I got a picture of him with a gorgeous little 15-month-old girl. Half Korean, half Mexican. She looks like him, but better. As it should be. :)

Seriously, though, she's gorgeous. If I remembered your email addresses, I would forward.

Bethany said...

Is it wrong for me to be super excited to see Lady Hector? I will be sooo disappointed if she doesn't show up and perform to her usual high standards.

Aaaaaaaaaawwww yeah!!!