Wet Dreams Really Do Come True

What is my obsession with boys named Edward? First, I was "unconditionally and irrevocably in love" with Edward from Twilight. (No need to reiterate -- you guys know how bad it got.) And now, just when I think it's safe to think about guys named Edward, the lead singer of Live, Ed *EFFING* Kowalczyk, goes and flirts with me, lets me kiss him, AND PRACTICALLY ASKS ME TO MARRY HIM!!!!!!!

If I sound a little excited, it's because I am. I'm listening to Live as I type this. The guy I just kissed is singing to me. Crazy times. Anyway, onto the greatest love story ever told....

So I went to the Live concert tonight at the Palazzo pool. It was like 5 of my favorite things all at once -- my "Friday," my payday, booze, Las Vegas at night, and Live (the band!)!

Well, the show was fantabulous, as always. Love love love them. Here's me like 12 feet from Ed, who is pictured in various stages of undress (or Eddie, as his friends -- which would include me -- call him):



So after the concert, we headed over to the poolside club, and who do I run into but Brazilian Marcia from Rock of Love Bus & Charm School?! Here's her and me, BFFs FOREVER:


She was so, SO nice. And so much smaller and prettier in real life than she is on the show. She must've stopped drinking for good, because she looked really skinny. We chatted about the other girls on the show, about how she lives in Vegas now, where she works-- BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT OF THE STORY...

THE POINT IS, a little while later, Ed came in.

A crowd gathered around him. A bunch of short bitchez went up and attacked him and, the entire time, he just kept looking over at me and smiling. I'm not kidding. I was standing in front of him, a bunch of skanks were fluttering about, and he just kept looking at me. It was like a dream.

So I just went on up, cast the other bitchez aside, and gave him a great big hug. As I did so, I told him: "I'm 6'5", to answer your question. I saw you staring at me just now wondering." He seemed flabbergasted... in a good way. He said he thought I was standing on something. (Yeah yeah, I get that shit all the time, anywayz...)... Then we took a quick pic -- here:

Right after we took this photo, he leaned over and said to me, "6'5' is wonderful."

((record scratch))

I was like, "I'M SORRY, WHAT????"

And so he repeated it: "All 6'5" of you is wonderful." Oh shit. Panty pudding. He was looking me up and down as he said it too. Oh shit.

So then I poured my heart out to him. I said, "You know, I used to always say that if I could just marry your voice, I would. Just your voice. If I married your voice, I would be one happy housewife." He smiled and said, "That's very poetic."

AND THEN HE WHISPERED IN MY EAR: "My voice is single." Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.

And then I did what any classy, married lady would do in that situation. I giggled, pulled away, and said, "Anytime, anywhere."

OH SHIT.

Then my friend Alexis tapped me on the shoulder and asked to get a picture, so I asked him to take one with her. I took a way better picture of them than she took of us. Not that I'm bitter. (Ok, I am):


Anyway, then I felt bad for talking to him for like an hour while all the other skanks watched in jealousy, so I decided to let him go. But not before I hugged him again... and kissed him on the cheek.

Ho-ly crap. I just kissed my biggest rock star crush ever on the cheek. Life is amazing.

Another one bites the dust

Guess who's having a baby? It's Brian and me. We just found out. I'm still in shock, quite honestly. Our plan to wait two years, do genetic testing, and use a surrogate has just gone out the window. I can expect an extremely delicate and stressful pregnancy. Obviously, this wasn't something we planned, but everything happens for a reason, so we're happy about it. Cautiously happy.

Healthy Bit&h

I'm finally in a healthy body fat percentage range!  Halfway through my "weightloss journey" I had a 36% body fat percentage.  That is considered unhealthy.  Now it's down to 30%, which is at the bottom of the healthy range.  Oh well, at least I'm healthy! 

I also saw my heart doctor today.  I was hoping it'd be like the Biggest Loser where I'd get to find out that all my health stats were much better.  

You know:  "How's your asthma?" In a dramatic whisper: "Gone."  Crying commences.  

Unfortunately, it was just a routine visit, so there were no tests done.  The only difference we spotted was my resting heart rate - before the weight loss it was 66.  Now it's 50.  

My doctor was alarmed at first at the dramatic weight loss since my last visit 6 months ago, but then I assured her I wasn't anorexic, and that I was working out a lot and felt better than I ever have, and then she got happy for me.   I told her I wanted to try running a 5K and she suggested I do a marathon.  I was like, "Baby steps.  I'm nowhere near that."   

The Amazing Catlad

Guess who got into art high school?  

Skinny Bit&h

I lost 1.8 pounds today. And I reached my goal weight. I've lost 23.2 pounds overall. (My goal was 22.) If I can stay near my current weight (I can't go more than two pounds over) for 5 weeks, I will be a lifetime member and no longer have to pay for meetings. That's the new goal. I'll start training for the 5k after that.

Confessions of a 30-year-old drama queen

I went to confession today for the first time in, like, 20 years. I was raised Catholic, but my mom didn't really make a big deal out of confession, so we never really went. In fact, I always thought that as long as you prayed for forgiveness for your sins, you were good to go. Turns out, I was sooo wrong, and that even taking communion without confessing was a MORTAL SIN. Oh crap!

I was talking to a recently converted coworker about it this morning. She showed me this little book she uses that explains the confession process. It turns out I am so bad in so many ways I didn't even realize. So I made myself a dirty laundry list and headed down to confession at lunch.

I was super -scared, but I told the priest how long it had been, and he was really nice. Told me it was okay, just happy I was there, yada yada yada. So I got out my list and confessed. All 20 years of it. It was a surprisingly powerful experience. Afterward, he said all my past sins had been forgiven and that I could now focus entirely on the future. It felt really amazing. And (since I'm all about confessing today) I have to admit, my coworker told me to go to that priest because he tended to be light on the penance. Turns out she was right. Only 7 Our Fathers and 7 Hail Marys for all of my youthful indiscretions! Sweet! I guess I'm not so bad.

So now the pressure's really on. I got a clean slate. The question is, what am I going to do with it?

Fat Camp Chronicles

I lost 1.8 lbs today. That brings my total overall weight loss to 21.4 lbs. One pound to go and then I can go on maintenance, which means slightly more food each day. I'm wearing an old suit I couldn't fit into before. It's one of the only suits I have that fits me. All my other ones are way too big now.

I was all like, "Whuut??"

I had my first weigh-in of the year today. After my minor Christmas and New Year's indiscretions, I was jazzed to get back on the weight-loss horse. I thought maybe I had lost a pound. I mean, I've been good, but not THAT good. It turns out I lost 4.6 lbs. I was shocked. I had to get back on the scale and make sure. Yup, it was right. That brings my total weight loss to date up to 11.6 lbs. Woo-hoo!