That lying, scheming Neil Patrick Harris!!

I had a dream last night that Neil Patrick Harris kept trying to makeout with me, but I kept turning him down, explaining that I was married. The next morning at work, I found out that NPH was going around spreading rumors that we had hooked up. I woke up this morning all mad, like, "That lying Neil Patrick Harris!!!"

Wet Dreams Really Do Come True

What is my obsession with boys named Edward? First, I was "unconditionally and irrevocably in love" with Edward from Twilight. (No need to reiterate -- you guys know how bad it got.) And now, just when I think it's safe to think about guys named Edward, the lead singer of Live, Ed *EFFING* Kowalczyk, goes and flirts with me, lets me kiss him, AND PRACTICALLY ASKS ME TO MARRY HIM!!!!!!!

If I sound a little excited, it's because I am. I'm listening to Live as I type this. The guy I just kissed is singing to me. Crazy times. Anyway, onto the greatest love story ever told....

So I went to the Live concert tonight at the Palazzo pool. It was like 5 of my favorite things all at once -- my "Friday," my payday, booze, Las Vegas at night, and Live (the band!)!

Well, the show was fantabulous, as always. Love love love them. Here's me like 12 feet from Ed, who is pictured in various stages of undress (or Eddie, as his friends -- which would include me -- call him):



So after the concert, we headed over to the poolside club, and who do I run into but Brazilian Marcia from Rock of Love Bus & Charm School?! Here's her and me, BFFs FOREVER:


She was so, SO nice. And so much smaller and prettier in real life than she is on the show. She must've stopped drinking for good, because she looked really skinny. We chatted about the other girls on the show, about how she lives in Vegas now, where she works-- BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT OF THE STORY...

THE POINT IS, a little while later, Ed came in.

A crowd gathered around him. A bunch of short bitchez went up and attacked him and, the entire time, he just kept looking over at me and smiling. I'm not kidding. I was standing in front of him, a bunch of skanks were fluttering about, and he just kept looking at me. It was like a dream.

So I just went on up, cast the other bitchez aside, and gave him a great big hug. As I did so, I told him: "I'm 6'5", to answer your question. I saw you staring at me just now wondering." He seemed flabbergasted... in a good way. He said he thought I was standing on something. (Yeah yeah, I get that shit all the time, anywayz...)... Then we took a quick pic -- here:

Right after we took this photo, he leaned over and said to me, "6'5' is wonderful."

((record scratch))

I was like, "I'M SORRY, WHAT????"

And so he repeated it: "All 6'5" of you is wonderful." Oh shit. Panty pudding. He was looking me up and down as he said it too. Oh shit.

So then I poured my heart out to him. I said, "You know, I used to always say that if I could just marry your voice, I would. Just your voice. If I married your voice, I would be one happy housewife." He smiled and said, "That's very poetic."

AND THEN HE WHISPERED IN MY EAR: "My voice is single." Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.

And then I did what any classy, married lady would do in that situation. I giggled, pulled away, and said, "Anytime, anywhere."

OH SHIT.

Then my friend Alexis tapped me on the shoulder and asked to get a picture, so I asked him to take one with her. I took a way better picture of them than she took of us. Not that I'm bitter. (Ok, I am):


Anyway, then I felt bad for talking to him for like an hour while all the other skanks watched in jealousy, so I decided to let him go. But not before I hugged him again... and kissed him on the cheek.

Ho-ly crap. I just kissed my biggest rock star crush ever on the cheek. Life is amazing.

My Claim to Fame

While I was watching the Charm School finale the other night, VH1 showed a preview of the new Rock of Love Bus. As I was watching it, I had to do a double-take -- was that my friend Jai Jai from high school?? Sure enough, it was her.

You may remember Jai Jai from my 10-year high school reunion. She's the plain-Jane I used to eat lunch with sophomore year who came back to the reunion a porn star. Here's her and me at the reunion (along with my friend Nancy):
And here's her on the Rock of Love website. Apparently she goes by "Jasmineva" these days:
That means there are only 2 degrees of separation between me and Brett Michaels. I can almost feel the herpes already!

Comic-Con Weekend Celebrity Sightings

This was our 5th Comic-Con experience, and I think it was our best. The crowds were still CRAZY, but this year we were ready for them, so it wasn't as bad.

Celebrity-wise, it was a super successful deal. I got tickets to meet Tori Amos first thing Thursday morning. Funny thing is, I didn't bother using them. They were for Saturday, and we had already planned to go to Legoland. Plus, I already met her 1.5 times before, and I already have tons of autographed stuff by her, including an autographed copy of her new comic book, so I decided to give Tori a miss. Can you believe it?

Here are the stars we did see:
Robert Rodriguez and Rose McGowan were there promoting the new Red Sonja. R.R. kept looking over at me while I was in line. I think he wanted to leave Rose for me like he did his first wife for Rose. We didn't have much time to chat though. The line was insane and they rushed me past. Just had time to grab a signed poster, snap a pic, and go. I swear they posed for me a lot better than this, my camera is just stupid and never takes the picture at the right time.

We stopped by to see a panel for Guy Ritchie's new movie, Rocknrolla. The panel featured Jeremy Piven, Gerard Butler, Joel Silver, Ludacris, and Guy Ritchie. Gerard Butler was super cute and funny.


During the Saturday TV Funhouse panel, we ran into these guys, Paul Scheer and Rob Huebel from Best Week Ever and Human Giant. They were really nice and let us take lots of pics.

This was probably the most unexpected celebrity sighting of all. Paris Hilton was there promoting this campy goth rock opera called Repo: The Genetic Opera. Yeah, she sings, and she's all gothed out, so it's really random. Even more random is that the little girl from Spy Kids is in it too.


And, like I said before, I won a lottery and got to meet the whole cast of Dr. Horrible, including the writers and director Joss Whedon:

And I got my Captain Hammer T-shirt signed by the whole cast. Woo-hoo!

The fun didn't stop at Comic-Con. We spotted Jennifer Connelly, Paul Bettany, and their kids at Legoland on Saturday.

We also spotted a 5-months-pregnant Allison Sweeney, host of the Biggest Loser. She was having a huge fight with her husband, so we didn't bother them.

All in all, a very fun, celebrity-packed weekend!

Comic Con update

I got to meet the cast of Dr. Horrible!

Random celebrity sighting

I was in court this morning waiting for my case to be called, and in walked Hunter Tylo. I guess she's suing the therapist who treated her 19-year-old son for a seizure disorder with acupuncture and holistic medicine. He had a seizure, fell into the family pool and drowned last year.

This courtroom is one of the most boring places in the world I can think of, so it definitely made things a little more interesting. She was prettier in person than in pictures. Anyway, it was kinda random to see her there.

Front row center

Last night, Alexis, Shannon, Vanessa, and I went out and saw Sarah Silverman. This was my third time. We had a good time overall, but I think this is going to be my last Sarah Silverman show for a while. She just does too many of the same jokes. If you want to see the pics from last night, click here.

The cool thing this time was that we were front row center, so we got to see a lot more of her performance and interact with her. When she first came out, she saw me taking pictures (no flash) and she posed for me. So that was really cute.

And one time I yelled out, "I love you Sarah!" and she was like, "Thanks, but I'm standing right here, you don't really have to yell."

And then a little while later, she sweated me for taking so many pictures. It doesn't take much to derail her train of thought, and I think it was distracting her, so she posed, I took my last 2 pics, and that was it.

A little while later, some heckler derailed her train of thought again, and she said the heckler was her friend "Michelle," but she refused to finish her joke because Michelle had thrown her off. So everyone was cheering for her to finish the joke, and when it became clear she wasn't going to, I yelled, "F- you, Michelle!" and she laughed. So that was kinda neat.

She interacted a lot with Vanessa too. I don't remember the exchanges though. Too self-absorbed I guess.

I always suspected she used notes on the stool she keeps next to her, but now that we were really close, we got to see the incriminating evidence up close. Also, she got way more thrown-off this time, and almost just, like, gave up at the end. So although she was as cute as ever, she didn't put on a super-fantastic show. I hate to say it.

He's got Moxie

At the AIDS Walk on Sunday we saw Penn Gilette with his daughter Moxie Crimefighter. Damn him for stealing my future baby's name!

Claudiaspotting

See if you can spot me during the interview with John Krasinski. (It's like we're kindred spirits being repeatedly drawn together by the universe!)

Fangirl

This weekend yielded many tales. We had our first 80's movie night on Friday, and then Saturday we took part in the Nevada Caucus. That's a long story I'm saving for later. Right after the caucus, we hopped in the car and drove to L.A. to see Brian's sister Erin at the premiere of her new play Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson. The show was great. Hear the musical numbers here.

At the show, I just about died when I saw John Krasinski from The Office. Here's me and my pal John:

He was a super-nice guy. I pretty much went up to him all fangirl-like and told him how awesome he was and asked for a picture. It was just before the show was about to start and we were both grabbing last-minute drinks at the bar. He was really nice and said thank you and no problem. Then I was all, "Wow, you're pretty tall, that's cool." And he was all, "Thanks, so are you." And that was about it. I said thanks and went into the show all jazzed.

Inside, I noticed he was sitting with Rashida Jones from The Office. After the show, we went to the premiere party in the lobby, and they were there. When she had a moment to herself, I went all fangirl on her too. I was shocked at how pretty she was. Her eyes are absolutely stunning. I was kinda taken aback. Unfortunately, I made a fool out of myself. I knew she was on The Office, but I remembered her from another show back in the day. I thought I was cool for remembering, so I asked if she used to be on the Drew Carey Show. She said no. OH CRAP. I then asked what show she did before The Office, and she said, "Boston Public?" I was like, YES!" How embarrassing... Anyway, she was super incredibly nice. I can't even stress how nice she was. She asked me my name and who I knew in the show. We actually talked for like a good five minutes about the show and who we knew in the cast and what she's going to be working on next. Here's me and my pal Rashida:

Notice how we're so close we're touching faces? That's cuz we're BFF's.

Anyway, I also ran into the guy who plays Sylar on Heroes at the show, Zachary Quinto. He's also going to be Spock on the new Star Trek show. He was also really super-nice. He introduced himself as "Zach" and asked what my name was and who I knew in the show. To be honest, I don't remember much about what we talked about because I was kinda scared he was going to kill me, like he does to most people on Heroes. Anyway, here's me and my boy Zach. See if you can spot his freaky Spock eyebrows:


So that was my weekend. I can't wait for Erin's next big premiere. Hopefully I'm allowed back for another one. :-)

Funniest one-liner I've heard in a long time

I hear Britney Spears is getting back together.

ba dum bum

Thank you, Doug Benson.

(This is a bad picture of him & me back in '05 at Comic-Con. He's been on Best Week Ever, Last Comic Standing, The Sarah Silverman Program, etc.)

I'm Home!

And it's never felt so sweet. I got back from Arizona Thursday night, only to drive to L.A. Saturday morning for the Tori Amos concert, which, by the way, was fricking awesome. We just got home a few minutes ago.

That's not what I wanted to blog about though. I had another celebrity sighting on this trip. This time it was Lawrence Fishburn at a restaurant next to the music center in L.A. I totally walked up to him and was all, "I choose the red pill," and he was all, "Dude, you're hilarious, no one's ever said that to me before," and Brian was all, "I'm not talking to you for the rest of the day."

Ok, not really. I mean, we really did see Lawrence Fishburn at the restaurant, I just didn't say anything to him. But wouldn't that have been funny?

Brush with Britney (Bitch)

Today, while we were in L.A. having lunch with a friend, we got mobbed by paparazzi chasing down Britney Spears. How random is that? Here's how it went down...

We met our friend at this cute little place in Sherman Oaks, on the corner of Ventura and Van Nuys. There was this chandelier store next door. When we first saw it, Brian actually asked how a store like that could stay in business. "Is there really that much of a demand for chandeliers?," he asked. "Maybe in L.A.," I said.

So we have lunch and then walk around a bit. Afterwards, we went back to the intersection where the chandelier store was to cross the street to our car. All of a sudden, a bunch of guys with cameras come running toward us and jump into cars and motorcycles and SUV's that are illegally parked on the sidewalk and all over the place. We asked them who they were chasing, and they yelled out, "Britney!"

I thought they were messing with me, until we saw Britney's white Mercedes convertible zoom out of the driveway next to the chandelier shop. She had the top up and dark window tint on all her windows, so we couldn't see who was in the car, but I definitely recognized the car from my gossip magazines. She immediately pulled out and ran a red light. As did all of the cars chasing her. It was crazy. Like a tornado had just passed us.

Anyway, here's the store and intersection where we were almost run down by Britney and her paparazzi.


And here's the story of Britney chandelier-shopping already on PerezHilton.com. And another on I'mNotObsessed.com. I guess Jayden and Sean Preston were in the car with her. I'm bummed we didn't actually get to see them, but it was still pretty neat to nearly run into Britney during our trip to L.A.

That was Wicked

Only three days in, and I've already broken my vow to blog every day in November. Oh well, you'll just get two instead of one today. So anyway...
Saturday we went to L.A. to see the musical Wicked. It was my birthday present from Brian. The show was amazing. It was pure visual and auditory candy. I think it's my favorite musical now. Definitely see it if you get the chance.

Being the fangirl that I am, I stayed after with all the other little kids to catch the cast on their way out. I ended up meeting Eden Espinoza, who played Elphiba, and Megan Hilty, who played Glinda. Here's Eden Espinoza as Elphiba:
And here's Eden Espinoza without her green make-up, with me, the fan girl:And here's Megan Hilty as Glinda:

And here's Megan Hilty out of costume with me, the fan girl:
As you can see, I really enjoyed myself.

The rest of the trip was really fun too. We stayed at a really nice hotel downtown with a view of the Hollywood sign. And we had dinner at this trendy sushi place on Wilshire Blvd. (It actually wasn't as good as the sushi places we go to at home, which kinda impressed us about Vegas, but it was nice nonetheless.) And we met up with my old friend Negar from law school at this fun little breakfast place in Sherman Oaks (where we had a brush with Britney - see bonus blogpost above). And we went shopping on Melrose. All in all, a very nice birthday/two-year-anniversary weekend.

No sea lice for me, thank you.

We're back from Alaska. It was amazing. We had an awesome time. I'm sad to report, however, that I am unable to produce for you the picture of me with a live salmon in my mouth.

Yes, we went fishing. Yes, we caught salmon (10 in total between three of us). However, at the time I set the goal, I was unaware of one very material fact: salmon have sea lice. They're nasty litte crab-like parasites that stick to their sides and feed on their scales. They're revolting, and there was no way I was going to put them in my mouth. Sorry guys.

We took literally hundreds of pictures on the trip. Knowing my history of processing photos, odds are you won't see them for a while. But they will be up on here eventually. Then you can see my huge ass fish that I caught and video and pictures of us sled-dogging, bicycling and canoeing. So fun.

The other reason I'm posting is because I had a very thrilling celebrity sighting experience in Seattle over the weekend. First, the backstory.

When I was a kid, I watched General Hospital every day after school. I LOVED Frisco and Felicia and Duke and Anna. Duke was super hot and my sister and I had huge crushes on him.

Well, I'm standing in a small bookstore, in a trendy, gay part of Seattle, and I hear this guy with a Scottish accent standing next to me looking at books on the same table as me. I look over and, from the side, it totally looked like Duke!

I stared at his face for a second, then he looked up, saw me staring and smiled. Then I knew for sure it was Duke! I smiled back. It was this weird I-know-you-know-I-know-who-you-are smile.

On the one hand, Ian Buchanan (that's his real name) is such a small celebrity, there's no reason to get excited. On the other hand, the fact that I was one of the few people that knew who he was made it all the more special! I immediately called the two people I thought might know who he was. Only one of them actually knew; my sister, who freaked out when I told her. I'm telling you, he was dreamy back in the day. Anyway, that's all. Just wanted to share in case any of you know who he is. He's also famous for being on Twin Peaks.

Oh, by the way betch...

So I went to see the comedian who does the Shoes video, Liam Sullivan, last Friday night at the House of Blues. The show was good - definitely worth the price of admission.

The opening act was this hilariously crass chick named Amy Claire. Then came Liam (aka Kelly). He showed a couple of his sketch comedy videos and then came out as Kelly to perform Text Message Break-Up and Shoes live.

We also got to see the brand new, unreleased Let Me Borrow That Top video. It was pretty frickin' funny. As funny as Shoes, I'd say. It's got all the same actors as the Shoes video, plus a few cameos by Margaret Cho, Amanda Palmer of the Dresden Dolls (WOO!), and Dave Navarro. Oh, and here's a little bit of trivia: Kid Rock's sister, Jill Ritchie, who you may recognize from Arrested Development, plays the bitchy beauty queen next door in the video, from whom Kelly wishes to borrow that top. It's really so good. I can't wait for it to come out on YouTube.
After the show, Liam Sullivan greeted some of his fans. He was whisked away shortly after he met with us, so it was cool that we got to meet him. We talked about the Dresden Dolls and how he's in their new video for Shores of California. He said he didn't even know who they were until after he shot the video, but now he loves them. How funny is that? Alright, so here are some pics from the show. How cool is he??

Good samaritans with digital cameras rule!

Here are the photos of us w/ the Dresden Dolls that some nice guy took with his camera and emailed us. The second one isn't a good one of me, but I included it anyway, just for the height comparison.

OMG, that was SO gay.

We went to the True Colors Tour last night. For all you link-o-phobics, that's the tour in support of homo, lesbo, and trannie equality. Those gays really know how to put on a show, lemme tell ya. Even Brian, who had no interest in any of the acts, had a good time. Here's how it went down...

My primary reason for going was because I love love love the song Good Day by the Dresden Dolls. They mostly do East Coast shows, so this was one of the only opportunities I'd have to see them. All I wanted was to hear that one song. I paid $250 for two seats on the floor, to see that one song.

I didn't get to hear or see that one song. Although the web site suggested they'd be the second or third opening act, they were actually the first. The show started at 8pm. We got there at 8:15pm. They were well into their third song. They only played two more songs while we were there, and while the songs were spectacular (Coin-Operated Boy & Girl Anachronism), they were not Good Day.

"Why is my life such a Greek tragedy?," I wondered. I had to find out for-sure whether either of the first two songs were my song. I asked a couple of people, but no one could tell me for sure. Then the Dresden Dolls announced they'd be meeting fans by the merchandise table.

HO-LY CRAP. I forgot my digital camera. WHY THE F@CK IS MY LIFE SUCH A GREEK TRAGEDY???

So we ended up meeting the band. Amanda Palmer was really nice, though I think she may have been under the influence of something cuz she asked me what city we were in. Whatever. She was nice. The guy, Brian Viglione was a bit cooler. Cooler like stand-offish, not cooler like badass. But they were nice enough to sign our tickets and a tank top I got and take pictures with us, so as far as I'm concerned he was nice too. Plus, he confirmed that they at no time performed Good Day that night. OH THANK GOODNESS! (I don't think he understood why I was so happy.) I asked some guy there to take our picture and email it to me. He said he'd send it next Wednesday. (fingers-crossed)

So even though I didn't get to hear my song, I did get to meet the artists, which was really cool. Oh, I forgot to mention that Amanda really does have crazy squiggly lines tattooed as eyebrows. And she grows her armpit hair super-long like a man. So that was pretty interesting to see up close. We had to miss the Indigo Girls to meet the band, but that's okay.

The rest of the show went like this...

Deborah Harry was surreal. (She'll be 62 next month). It felt like we were watching Florence Henderson rock out. Except each time she would move a little like she was getting into the music, she would stop like her hip was hurting or like her vertigo was setting in. It did not help her rock n' roll image that she had a Florence Henderson haircut and performed in capri pants and a white, collared, button-up shirt. Poor thing just seemed confused. She was the only one that didn't come back out at the end of it all for the big finale. We figured she fell asleep backstage or something. Poor thing.

Margaret Cho was hilarious. Rosie O'Donnell was hilarious.

Erasure was the super-ultra-gayest band ever. And by that, I mean they were super-ultra-fabulous. I had no idea they were the official gay-anthem band. (Famous gay anthoms include Take a Chance on Me, Respect, and Oh L'amour.) They definitely brought out the go-go boy in all of us.

Cyndi Lauper (she'll be 54 this month) was really cool. She was the opposite of Debbie Harry. Still highly energetic and bubbly, still modern and fun. Of course the place went crazy when she did Girls Just Want to Have Fun (w/ Rosie O'Donnell on the drums). And I totally called the weepy closing number with all the bands on-stage holding hands and singing True Colors. It was nice anyway.

Even though I didn't get to hear my one song, I definitely feel like I got my money's worth. Go to the HRC website to read about what that group's doing try and make the world less hateful toward the gays.

What a coincidence.. I was just about to blog about her impressive nose job!

So Saturday I was super-sick and hanging out at home in my pajamas all day. At about 4:45 pm, Brian calls and asks if I want to meet Ashlee Simpson. Apparently, he knows someone who knows someone. The catch is that the Meet & Greet is from 5-6pm, and I was at least a 30 minute drive from the venue, and still in my pajamas.

So I figure, why the hell not? Yes, I could be made fun of for it perpetually, but, then again, who really cares? At the very least, it'd be an interesting tidbit for the hungry bloggees. And as long as she doesn't sing or do a ho-down-dance, it ain't gonna hurt.

So I scramble to get ready, jump in the car and head for the House of Blues. We pretty much made it just in time. Ashlee was walking out as we were walking in. She stopped to say hello to us (thinking we were radio contest winners) and then her people snapped some photos of us and dragged her away.

I wanted to ask about her new nose (which I must say was quite impressive in-person), but all we really had time to do was make a quick height-quip & get a picture.

She was really, really tiny. I know everyone says that when they meet celebrities, but, really, it was shocking. Like 5'1", 90 lbs. We surrounded her and asked if she felt like she was trapped at the bottom of a well. She smiled and didn't really say anything else, other than, "It was nice meeting you.. yada yada yada."

So yeah, that was my random Saturday celebrity-encounter.