Wet Dreams Really Do Come True

What is my obsession with boys named Edward? First, I was "unconditionally and irrevocably in love" with Edward from Twilight. (No need to reiterate -- you guys know how bad it got.) And now, just when I think it's safe to think about guys named Edward, the lead singer of Live, Ed *EFFING* Kowalczyk, goes and flirts with me, lets me kiss him, AND PRACTICALLY ASKS ME TO MARRY HIM!!!!!!!

If I sound a little excited, it's because I am. I'm listening to Live as I type this. The guy I just kissed is singing to me. Crazy times. Anyway, onto the greatest love story ever told....

So I went to the Live concert tonight at the Palazzo pool. It was like 5 of my favorite things all at once -- my "Friday," my payday, booze, Las Vegas at night, and Live (the band!)!

Well, the show was fantabulous, as always. Love love love them. Here's me like 12 feet from Ed, who is pictured in various stages of undress (or Eddie, as his friends -- which would include me -- call him):



So after the concert, we headed over to the poolside club, and who do I run into but Brazilian Marcia from Rock of Love Bus & Charm School?! Here's her and me, BFFs FOREVER:


She was so, SO nice. And so much smaller and prettier in real life than she is on the show. She must've stopped drinking for good, because she looked really skinny. We chatted about the other girls on the show, about how she lives in Vegas now, where she works-- BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT OF THE STORY...

THE POINT IS, a little while later, Ed came in.

A crowd gathered around him. A bunch of short bitchez went up and attacked him and, the entire time, he just kept looking over at me and smiling. I'm not kidding. I was standing in front of him, a bunch of skanks were fluttering about, and he just kept looking at me. It was like a dream.

So I just went on up, cast the other bitchez aside, and gave him a great big hug. As I did so, I told him: "I'm 6'5", to answer your question. I saw you staring at me just now wondering." He seemed flabbergasted... in a good way. He said he thought I was standing on something. (Yeah yeah, I get that shit all the time, anywayz...)... Then we took a quick pic -- here:

Right after we took this photo, he leaned over and said to me, "6'5' is wonderful."

((record scratch))

I was like, "I'M SORRY, WHAT????"

And so he repeated it: "All 6'5" of you is wonderful." Oh shit. Panty pudding. He was looking me up and down as he said it too. Oh shit.

So then I poured my heart out to him. I said, "You know, I used to always say that if I could just marry your voice, I would. Just your voice. If I married your voice, I would be one happy housewife." He smiled and said, "That's very poetic."

AND THEN HE WHISPERED IN MY EAR: "My voice is single." Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.

And then I did what any classy, married lady would do in that situation. I giggled, pulled away, and said, "Anytime, anywhere."

OH SHIT.

Then my friend Alexis tapped me on the shoulder and asked to get a picture, so I asked him to take one with her. I took a way better picture of them than she took of us. Not that I'm bitter. (Ok, I am):


Anyway, then I felt bad for talking to him for like an hour while all the other skanks watched in jealousy, so I decided to let him go. But not before I hugged him again... and kissed him on the cheek.

Ho-ly crap. I just kissed my biggest rock star crush ever on the cheek. Life is amazing.

I am out of control...

Ok, so my new purse Tallulah already let me down. While we were driving around with Brad and Vanessa yesterday, one of her Dooney & Bourke faceplates came off. Considering how much I paid for the purse, and all this talk about how she was supposed to "last me a lifetime," I was MEGA-PISSED. Vanessa only added fuel to the fire by flaunting her new Coach baby (Demi), meanwhile ridiculing poor Tallulah for her malfunction.

So I went back to the store where I bought her. I took back Tallulah and her matching wallet of a little sister and said goodbye to the Dooney & Bourke label along with them.

For just a teensy weensy bit more, I bought this Coach Andrea Satchel. I thought the name she came with was boring, so I renamed her "Shakira, the Queen Bee."


She's freaking spectacular. You would throw up if I told you how much she cost. I don't think about it, cuz it kinda makes me a little nauseous too. THE POINT IS, this one WILL last me a lifetime gosh darnit!!!

I wish that the retarded could all be resmarted.

Sorry I've been so distant lately. I really don't have a whole lot to report.

I got my first grown-up purse on Saturday. She's beautiful and I named her Tallulah. Here she is:

I love her. Brian makes fun of me when he catches me gazing lovingly at her. He also gives me crap for spending so much money on her and her matching wallet of a little sister. It's really random that I got her. I just saw a friend with a really gorgeous designer bag and got all jealous and had to have one for myself. Weird.

What else? We saw the movie 300 the other night. I liked it for the same reasons I liked Sin City. You won't like it if you can't tolerate melodrama. But the visual effects were good, so overall I was pretty satisfied.

What else? Oh! I'm going to Reno next weekend to see my college girlie friends. I can't wait!!!

What else? Oh! I'm going to see the Dresden Dolls in concert in June. That is great great news because they are one of my favorite bands right now. They're coming with Cyndi Lauper and Erasure and a whole bunch of other bands for this big gayfest tour.

That's about it. I've pretty much been working 12-hour days this week, so I haven't had much time for anything too exciting to happen. Better luck next week.

State of the Cladeedah

Yeah yeah, I know all the pretentious bloggers out there talk trash about these kinds of posts, but so what. If you haven't noticed, this blog is not general interest. It's about me. So State of the Cladeedah posts are part of the deal. This one's for Allison, who complains that I don't blog enough.

Last Tuesday we met with our financial planner. It was the meeting where we told him how we spend our money. He laughed at us. I think it was somewhere between the $100 a month for action figures and the $5,000 we spent last year on the cat's medical bills when he finally lost it. I'm not mad. I know we are bad. It was just embarassing to have to say it out loud.

Thursday I went to a funeral. I hate funerals. It was my boss'. He had cancer. Not a whole lot to say about it.

Friday we went out and saw Babel. We took my 12-year-old nephew. As a joke, when we bought the tickets, we asked for 3 tickets for "Babar." You know, the elephant cartoon? The ticket guys looked at my nephew and asked whether I knew that it was rated R. We said yes, got the tickets and went in. Holy crap, they weren't messing around with that R-rating though, were they? The movie was alright. I don't think it's the best picture of 2006. Not as good as others I've seen, for sure. But decent.

Saturday I got my hair dyed again. It's pretty red right now. Hopefully it will fade a little bit.

The rest of the weekend we just spent with family. Oh, and I finally saw Snakes on a Plane today. It was easily the worst movie I've ever seen. It had no creative merit at all whatsoever. You could probably guess that. But just in case you had any doubts.