My Claim to Fame

While I was watching the Charm School finale the other night, VH1 showed a preview of the new Rock of Love Bus. As I was watching it, I had to do a double-take -- was that my friend Jai Jai from high school?? Sure enough, it was her.

You may remember Jai Jai from my 10-year high school reunion. She's the plain-Jane I used to eat lunch with sophomore year who came back to the reunion a porn star. Here's her and me at the reunion (along with my friend Nancy):
And here's her on the Rock of Love website. Apparently she goes by "Jasmineva" these days:
That means there are only 2 degrees of separation between me and Brett Michaels. I can almost feel the herpes already!

New Trashy Reality Show!

You guys remember Megan from Beauty and the Geek 2, Rock of Love 2, I Love Money, and Charm School: Rock of Love? Of course you do.
One of the last things Megan said before she got booted from Charm School was that she didn't want a career, she just wanted to be a trophy wife. Well, I guess that gave the brilliant minds over at VH1 an idea for a new reality show. Basically, millionaires compete to make Megan their trophy wife. Fanstastic. I can't wait. Casting is going on now guys, so get on it if you want a shot with Megan!

Game On Bitches!

I know exactly how you feel. You're super bummed that I Love Money is over, and that Project Runway is almost done too. How are you supposed to get your trashy reality-TV rocks off now??

Well, don't despair, my chickadee. Your next dose of schadenfreude is on its way... This Sunday is the premiere of Rock of Love Charm School and The Pickup Artist 2. OH YEAH!

Charm School is going to have Heather, Brandy, Megan, Kristi Jo, Frenchy, Lacey and a bunch of other skanks from Rock of Love. I cannot wait.

As for the Pickup Artist, it's a good thing it's coming back because I was getting a little bit rusty on my pickup artist lingo. I-O-I, Pivot... what else was there??

If that's not enough human suffering to tickle your fancy, you may also want to check out Paris Hilton's My New BFF or else Exiled, the show where they take the spoiled brats from My Super Sweet Sixteen and torture them in a third world country. Yes, it is as delicious as it sounds.

Let the fun begin!

Intervention Intervention

I've cut back on TV a whole lot. In fact, I pretty much only watch one show exclusively. All the time. I think I'm addicted. It's called Intervention.

Each episode is pretty much the same. Basically, it shows addicts at their lowest lows. All kinds of addicts: bulimics, anorexics, alcoholics, crackheads, heroin addicts, meth addicts, gambling addicts, sex addicts, plastic surgery addicts, shopping addicts, pill poppers, etc.

It's usually some crazy ass sh*t I never imagined, like bulimics storing 30 pounds of vomit in ziplock bags in their closet, or anorexics "chewing and spitting" and surviving on 100 calories a day. Or, like, straight guys prostituting themselves for drug money or cleaning their syringes out in fast food toilets. Just crazy, unfathomable, rock-bottom type stuff.

So then it tells their childhood story. Usually some horrible thing happened to them that explains why they're so hellbent on numbing the pain.

Then the family stages an elaborate trap in order to surprise the addict (pretty much they tell them they're going to the Howard Johnson by the airport to tape their final interview - works every time, believe it or not). Then they all read letters telling him/her how messed up he/she is and threatening to disown him/her if he/she doesn't go to treatment. The addict usually wines and cries and yells. Then my favorite interventionist, Jeff VanVonderon does a Jedi mind trick, which convinces the addict to go to treatment (I've never seen that badass lose even one). Then the addict is immediately whisked away to a treatment center across the country.

Then comes the best part: the update. Brian acts like he doesn't like the show, but I know he enjoys guessing whether they'll even go to treatment and whether they'll relapse or stay sober. I'm no good at predicting the outcome. Even after having watched 75-100 episodes, I still can't tell who's going to succeed. But it's fun guessing nonetheless. Some of the transformations are amazing. It's pretty much the best makeover show ever. You should totally watch it.

I watch at least one episode a night on the Tivo. And I go online to read the most recent updates. I'm warning you though. If you ever ask me to meet you at the HoJo by the airport, I ain't goin'... unless Jeff VanVonderon is my interventionist. Then I'm totally there.

Exciting News!!

Have you heard the good news? VH1 is working on Charm School 2, starring girls from both seasons of Rock of Love. It's rumored that they've got Heather, Lacey, Daisy, Angelique, and Kristy Jo signed on. How skank-errific is that??

Writer's Strike, Schmiter's Strike

People keep talking about this writer's strike, and I'm like, "Pshaw, what are you talking about? All my shows are fine."

The Hills is still on Mondays.
The Biggest Loser is still on Tuesdays.
The Real World and America's Next Top Model are still on Wednesdays.
And Project Runway is still on (my Tivo) Thursdays.

I bet those writers are going to feel pretty silly when they find out the TV world will go on without them. Bring on Making the Choir, Celebrity Apprentice, and The Pick Up Artist 2, baby. I got another season of Shot at Love with Tila Tequila American Gladiators, Couples Biggest Loser and Beauty and the Geek Season 4 coming for ya after that. Kitcha! Keep 'em coming, watch out!

Hmmm... that gets me thinking. People have said that The Hills is totally scripted. I guess now we get to find out for sure. Fingers crossed.

Because Life's Too Short to Wear Ugly Clothes

So the new season of Project Runway premiered last night. Michael Kors musta been practicing his one-liners, cuz he was funny as fu*&! Last night he called a dress "so M.O.B."

M.O.B. = mother of the bride. Fantastic!

The new cast seems pretty interesting too. There's a chick who's a total mental patient, and a pompous gay guy that looks like he's 12. And several already seasoned designers. It's looking to be another good season. I can't wait!

Hot for Sarah

Ok, no seriously. If you haven't watched it, watch it now.

I know...

I know you're all super-excited that Cycle 8 of America's Next Top Model starts tonight. It's okay. Your secret is safe with me. I like this chick Natasha's head shot the best, so she's my early early pick to win.

I love love love Sarah Silverman

The Sarah Silverman Program is my new favorite TV show. You should all watch it. Here's a sample:

Mmm... my ding ding dong

Holy crap, I think this guy is for real. Ok, so the other night I was watching Beauty and the Geek, and they kept playing this bizarro song that got stuck in my head the rest of the week. Finally tonight, Brian and I searched for it online and struck internet gold. Ladies and gentlemen, I proudly present to you Swedish singing sensation, Gunther. Definitely spend a few minutes looking over his myspace profile. It's well-worth the time investment. And thank you dear Lord Baby Jesus, there is also a music video. Make sure you watch until the end. That's where the money shot is.

Beauty and the Geek

...is my new favorite TV show. I love love love how nerdy the guys on the show are. They are so endearing. And the girls are so ditsy, it's hilarious. Brian and I like to play along with the contestants on the quiz challenge at the end of every show. He tries to answer the questions on fashion and pop culture along with the geeks and I try to answer the questions about politics and aeronautics alongside the beauties. It's actually pretty funny how geeky he is and how ditsy I am.

Not blogging is actually a good sign.

It means I'm having too much fun doing other stuff. The last two weeks have been crazy. The week between Christmas & New Year's, we went out every night. In that time, we saw Cirque Du Soleil Love at the Mirage and the Phantom of the Opera Spectacular at the Venetian.

Love was amazing. It was less acrobatic than some of the other Cirque shows though, focusing instead on dancing, costumes, and really cool art direction. It's now my second favorite Cirque show (after Ka). I gotta say, the Cirque shows have never let me down.

Phantom, on the other hand, was dumb. It was so cheesy, I laughed out loud in some parts that I don't think were meant to be funny. Apparently, the Vegas version cuts out a lot of the character development for the Phantom and his relationship with Christine. So I had no love for the Phantom. I thought he was a loser, and being deformed didn't justify his being a stalker. I didn't really care too much about Christine either, actually. The singing in the show was good and all, I just thought the story and the art direction on the show were lame. Oh well.

I gotta get back to work now. I'll try to be better about the blogging, I swear. In the meantime, did you hear that the OC just got cancelled???? Feel free to discuss.