Wall-E

We went and saw Wall-E last night. I wasn't really excited to go see it, but it got good reviews and Brian wanted to go, so I said why not. Are you ready to hear the whole script of the movie? Here goes:

"Wall-E?"
"Eve-uh?"
"Wall-E"
"Eve-uh"
"Wall-E!"
"Eve-uh!"

And that's about it. Oh, wait. I mean, repeat 100 more times. Maybe I've just had my fill of lovable cartoon movies this summer. Maybe I set my expectations too high by reading good reviews right before going. Maybe I was just incensed by the repetitious dialogue. All I know is that I thought it was just okay. Not worth the hype. Not nearly as good as Kung Fu Panda, Iron Man, or Incredible Hulk. Final grade: B.

Almost as exciting as buying a house

They're making an Arrested Development movie!! It's scheduled for release February of 2009. Can't hardly wait!

Claudia SMASH!!!!

Just got back from seeing a sneak preview of the new Hulk movie starring Ed Norton. Not to get your hopes up or anything, but it was really really really freakin' awesome.

First of all, the casting was spot on. Not sure if it was the casting director or the film director that had a thing for 90's stars, but obviously one of them did. The movie starred 90's video vixen Liv Tyler; Quentin Tarantino favorite Tim Roth (Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Four Rooms); and, of course, Ed Norton (Primal Fear, Fight Club, People vs. Larry Flynt, American History X). Maybe I'm just in the target marketing demographic for 90s casting, but I honestly thought the choices were bold and brilliant.

As far as the director goes, I've never heard of the guy before, but I must say I'm impressed. I guess he's French and he directed The Transporter. And that's about it. Surprising that they gave him such a huge film, but obviously somebody knew he'd do it justice, cuz he did good. He definitely kicked Ang Lee's ass with this one.

And did you know Ed Norton co-wrote the screenplay? So freakin' hot.

I'm calling an Oscar for best sound editing and sound effects right now.

So yeah, it was really good. Good script, good action, good characters, good casting. I won't say anything more. Just go see it.

Final grade: A.

Summer movies

I've been seeing an assload of movies lately. Thursday we saw an advance screening of You Don't Mess with the Zohan. It was super silly, but very funny. I enjoyed it. Don't go in with high expectations and you will be amused. Final grade: B.

Friday we went and saw Kung Fu Panda. That was also pretty good... not that I'm into cartoons or anything, I'm just saying... classic underdog tales are just good, that's all. Final grade: B+.

Last weekend I saw Sex and the City. I really enjoyed it. It was total female fantasy fulfillment. All the women had great careers, great homes, great clothes, great friends, and an endless supply of money. So it was a lot of fun. Like Iron Man was for the boys. I also really enjoyed it because it felt like hanging out with old friends. I totally have an emotional connection to those characters. Anyway, you'll love this movie, as long as you're a chick. Final grade: A-.

Tomorrow we're seeing an advance screening of the new Hulk. I'll report back on how Ed Norton does. I expect he'll be fabulous though. Is it me, or is he always typecast as the Jekyl/Mr. Hyde guy?

Jumper

We went and saw that new Hayden Christensen movie Jumper a few nights ago. It's the one where the guy can teleport to any place in the world. I liked it. Brian didn't. It's got the same director as the Bourne Identity, which I didn't know going in, but made sense afterward.

I found myself really liking the beginning, where the star figures out he has a power and then goes into the toying phase with it. But, then again, I always like that part in these types of superhero, comic-book-style movies. Once the conflict started, it kinda went down hill. I didn't think Samuel L. Jackson was particularly strong. Does it bother anyone else that he plays the same part in all his movies? Overall, though, I think the good outweighed the bad. The special effects were cool. And there was still a lot of wow in the action sequences and in the locations they chose. As long as you don't expect more than a fun action movie, you won't be disappointed. Overall grade: B-

Cloverfield sucked

We saw a sneak preview of that new J.J. Abrams movie. You know, the one that had the preview before Tranformers, where even after you watched it, you had no idea what the movie was going to be about. So yeah, it wasn't very good.

Spoilers ahead.

The thing that's destroying New York City is this giant, alien, sea-monster-looking, spider thing that runs around killing people and busting down buildings and birthing 3-foot spider creatures that run around and kill people. And if they bite you, your head explodes. Kind of a cross between Godzilla, Arachnaphobia, and the Blair Witch Project.

The good things about it were that it was pretty action-packed and suspenseful. That's about it.

The bad things were that it was virtually unwatchable because of the home video camera approach they took. Brian actually had to leave the theater for about 20 minutes so that he wouldn't throw up. Thank goodness it was barely an hour and a half long. Other bad stuff about it was the story, the acting, and the dialogue. I hated the characters, and quite honestly thought they deserved to get eaten by the monster. Total dumbasses.

Oh, and it pretty much had the same ending as the Blair Witch Project. How else would a movie shot like a home movie end? With the dumbass who can't put down the camera long enough to run away getting killed, duh.

So there you go. Cat's out of the bag and I saved you $10. Final grade: D+

Long Tall Weekend

Man, this weekend was nice. Thursday I was a fatty and ate everything in sight. Who knew I could reach 63 points in one day (my daily max is usually 26)? Oh well. I've been pretty good every day since. And I've figured out how to keep tamales, pizza, french fries, and steak in my diet, so bonus there. If I lose weight this week, I will feel pretty good. My weigh-ins are Wednesdays, so I'll keep you posted.

The rest of the weekend was super chill. I saw a couple of faces from the past - my best friend Allison and her wife Kelly, and my college roommate Molly. That was cool. All the ladies were looking pretty fly.

I meant to go get my hair done Saturday, but got a flat tire on the way there, so I didn't get to do that. Damn construction on the 215. But I did get to feel all independent calling AAA and then putting on my neon green safety vest from my CERT backpack that I keep in my trunk. I didn't have to put it on, I suppose. I was just stoked I got to use something out of my safety pack, ok? Zoot, don't rain on my parade!

Sunday we went and saw a movie highly recommended by the illustrious movie reviewer Catlad - No Country for Old Men. The movie was really really really well-written and well-acted and well-made. It was clearly made by exceptional moviemakers. The only thing was that the story was just kinda weird. They don't tell you everything. Which makes it more intriguing, but also more frustrating. Anyway, overall good movie. Just don't expect the usual formula.

This weekend I'm going to see my college bitchez in Reno. Should be fun.

Jennifer Aniston told you she was a demon whore

We just got back from seeing Beowulf. It was interesting. I still haven't decided if it was great or just okay. I think I'm leaning toward just okay. Naked, computer-animated Angelina Jolie is HOT though as Grendel's mother, a sucubus-type water demon. The movie did a good job with the story, I guess, given that it's like 3,000 years old. The monsters were done pretty well. Vividly terrifying for imaginary creatures. The 3-D was cool at times, but also distracting and annoying at others. I guess I have to say it was just okay.

We saw it at this amazing brand new shopping district called Town Square. It was huge - like 15 Green Valley Ranches in one place. I can't wait to take Allison there when her and her gimp leg come to visit next week.

On a totally unrelated note, I had my first Weightwatchers meeting today. It rocked. I'm really excited to start this new nutrition hobby. That's how I see it. As just an easy way to make me aware of what I'm eating. Making my 26 points today was rough, but I'm sure it'll get easier once I get used to eating differently.

Another good one

Go see Into the Wild!! It is SO good. On top of being beautiful, insightful, and moving, it had this hot chick in it. Ooh, yeah. Little something for everyone.

Did I mention we saw Elizabeth: The Golden Age this weekend? Although visually stunning, it was nowhere near as good as the first one. Mostly, I just didn't admire the character traits they were trying to develop Elizabeth with. She was all wishy-washy and whiny and forgiving and shit. Not at all the Godfather-type badass from the first film. Mary Stuart was pretty badass though. Anyway, I'd recommend a matinee of this one, just to see how it compares. Just don't expect it to be better than the first.

It'll hurt if I swallow!

It was an all-around day of learning yesterday. We started the day by going to our CERT class and learning some first aid. That was pretty fun. Here are some photos, courtesy of Shannon.

Here's Brian lamenting my death.

Here's me being positioned so I don't swallow my tongue or choke on my own vomit.

Here's me bandaging up Brian's wound.

And here's me stopping Brian's bleeding by elevating his wound and pushing on his brachial artery.

Later, we went to see Sicko, the new Michael Moore movie. I didn't need to see this movie to know that healthcare in this country sucks. I have my own healthcare system horror stories. The movie was still fun though. We're discussing our relocation to France now. Of course, with all this new CERT training, maybe we'll just be able to take care of ourselves. (Yeah right.)

Oh my gawd, that was AWESOME!!!

We got to see a sneak preview of Transformers last night. Brian described it best when he said it was like eating frosting right out of the container. On the one hand, the story was retarded & full of plot holes, the dialogue super-cheesy, the characters flat stereotypes and the jokes lame. On the other hand, the transformers were AWESOME!!!!

During one of the first scenes where a Transformer transforms (Barricade is jumping through the air as a robot and then lands as a badass police car), you could actually hear the simultaneous gasp of every guy in the theater getting a stiffy. The gasps and applause continued throughout the movie, every time they showed a new transformer transform (ESPECIALLY when they revealed Optimus Prime) and everytime the robots fought.

In the end, I was left with one thought: "Oh my gawd, that was AWESOME!!!" So even though it isn't going to be winning any Oscars this year, it was still super bad-ass and super exhilarating. I will most likely see it again in the theater. Oh, and the super-hot chick lead, Megan Fox, was, in fact, really really hot. So yeah, just in case you needed another reason to go see it.

Knocked Up...

...was really fu@*ing funny. So much like the 40-year-old Virgin in its comedy, and so so so funny. You should definitely check it out this weekend.

I feel like I should say something.

Sorry about all the awkward silence. Just busy I guess. Let's see, fun-wise, we saw Grindhouse on Friday night. I really enjoyed it. Go see it.

Saturday we went hiking at Redrock w/ my friends Jeanny & Josh who were in town. Saturday night we went to some fancy-schmancy trendy restaurant in the Hard Rock called Simon's. It was way overpriced and not worth it. Although if you're looking for a giant ball of cotton candy for dessert, that would be your place. Came home and watched Children of Men. I hated it, even though it had my favorite actor Clive Owen in it.

Sunday I slept in instead of doing the AIDS walk with my friends and husband. What? Someone had to play the part of the sponsor. Then we went over to Kev-dawg's house and bbq'd and played games. All in all a nice weekend.

I got tickets for next week to see Dita Von Teese doing her burlesque act at one of the shows here in town. I can't wait. Check her out if you don't know who she is or what she's about.

That's all I got.

I wish that the retarded could all be resmarted.

Sorry I've been so distant lately. I really don't have a whole lot to report.

I got my first grown-up purse on Saturday. She's beautiful and I named her Tallulah. Here she is:

I love her. Brian makes fun of me when he catches me gazing lovingly at her. He also gives me crap for spending so much money on her and her matching wallet of a little sister. It's really random that I got her. I just saw a friend with a really gorgeous designer bag and got all jealous and had to have one for myself. Weird.

What else? We saw the movie 300 the other night. I liked it for the same reasons I liked Sin City. You won't like it if you can't tolerate melodrama. But the visual effects were good, so overall I was pretty satisfied.

What else? Oh! I'm going to Reno next weekend to see my college girlie friends. I can't wait!!!

What else? Oh! I'm going to see the Dresden Dolls in concert in June. That is great great news because they are one of my favorite bands right now. They're coming with Cyndi Lauper and Erasure and a whole bunch of other bands for this big gayfest tour.

That's about it. I've pretty much been working 12-hour days this week, so I haven't had much time for anything too exciting to happen. Better luck next week.

Oscar Smackdown, The Results Show

C'mon, Helen Mirren wasn't THAT good. And Happy Feet? Over Cars??? Donovan would go ape-sh*t if he found out. At least they got the awards for Best Picture and Best Director right. I still think No Time for Nuts was robbed. Anyway, here are the winners of my Oscar challenge:

1st Place: Cladeedah +12
2nd Place: My Nephew +10 (Takes after his auntie)
3rd Place: Nick, Cherie, and Sugafree tied at +8 (Wow guys, how does it feel to lose to a 12-year-old?)
4th Place: Housekeeper +7 (And to think, this whole thing was your idea.)
5th Place: Brian +0 (But he gets an honorable mention for being the cutest, funniest, and the most clever.)

Looks like I get to keep the special, amazing, dazzling prize for myself this year. Which is probably a good thing, since I hadn't quite yet decided what it was going to be. Probably my duplicate copy of Stuff on My Cat that I got for Christmas. Oh well, better luck next year suckas!!!!

UH-OH UH-OH Here Comes the Oscar

I'm filling out my balllot now. I'll post it in a little bit as a comment. POST YOUR BALLOT PICKS IN THE COMMENTS SECTION NOW SO I CAN SHOW YOU HOW MUCH BETTER THAN YOU I AM AT PICKING GOOD MOVIES!!!!!

Here's the printable ballot.

State of the Cladeedah

Yeah yeah, I know all the pretentious bloggers out there talk trash about these kinds of posts, but so what. If you haven't noticed, this blog is not general interest. It's about me. So State of the Cladeedah posts are part of the deal. This one's for Allison, who complains that I don't blog enough.

Last Tuesday we met with our financial planner. It was the meeting where we told him how we spend our money. He laughed at us. I think it was somewhere between the $100 a month for action figures and the $5,000 we spent last year on the cat's medical bills when he finally lost it. I'm not mad. I know we are bad. It was just embarassing to have to say it out loud.

Thursday I went to a funeral. I hate funerals. It was my boss'. He had cancer. Not a whole lot to say about it.

Friday we went out and saw Babel. We took my 12-year-old nephew. As a joke, when we bought the tickets, we asked for 3 tickets for "Babar." You know, the elephant cartoon? The ticket guys looked at my nephew and asked whether I knew that it was rated R. We said yes, got the tickets and went in. Holy crap, they weren't messing around with that R-rating though, were they? The movie was alright. I don't think it's the best picture of 2006. Not as good as others I've seen, for sure. But decent.

Saturday I got my hair dyed again. It's pretty red right now. Hopefully it will fade a little bit.

The rest of the weekend we just spent with family. Oh, and I finally saw Snakes on a Plane today. It was easily the worst movie I've ever seen. It had no creative merit at all whatsoever. You could probably guess that. But just in case you had any doubts.

The Good Shepherd

We went to see The Good Shepherd on Saturday. I didn't like it. In part, I wasn't prepared for a three-hour movie. But I also think that if you're going to keep me in a movie theatre for three hours, there better be a damn good reason, and this movie just didn't justify that type of time commitment. I thought Angelina Jolie was terribly miscast. The story wasn't tight enough. The pacing was waaaaaaay too slow. There were too many simultaneous plotlines. And too many unnecessary characters that felt like Robert DeNiro was just trying to fit all of his friends into the film (including himself). The worst part was that there was no payoff for all of your attentiveness. I read a review afterward that said this movie left you wanting to see a better spy movie. That's exactly how I felt about it. Luckily, the trailers previewed two new spy movies coming out soon. Maybe one of them will be better.

Buzz Buzz Buzz

We watched Pan's Labyrinth last weekend. It _is_ as good as they say. It's a Spanish film, so look for it for sure in the foreign film category at the Oscars. Maybe even in the best actress category for the 11-year-old lead. Here's an interview with the director. It's definitely one to check out when it comes out in your area.