Stupid lactic acids...

I worked out THREE times this week, for an hour and a half each time, PLUS, I did that crazy uphill bike ride last Friday, and what do I have to show for all of it? A .2 POUND INCREASE.

MOTHERF&#&^R.

Total weight loss so far = 11.6 lbs.

Claudiaspotting

See if you can spot me during the interview with John Krasinski. (It's like we're kindred spirits being repeatedly drawn together by the universe!)

What the f*ck?

This is the weirdest thing I've ever seen. Ever.

Can't... move... legs

After my weight-gain this week, I got all motivated to start hitting the gym again. I went this morning for an hour and a half. Not a sissy hour and a half, where I rest for a long time between sets and do a wimpy setting on the elliptical. Oh no, it was hard-core. I felt so good about it afterward, I decided to bike to my eye doctor and to the bike shop later on. Not a good idea, as it turns out!

I left at about 4:30. I just had to pick up my new glasses by 5. The place was only like 2 miles away. I figured 20 minutes was plenty. Not enough time, as it turns out!

Apparently, I don't pay much attention to "topography," so I didn't realize it would be UP HILL THE ENTIRE WAY. I also never really paid much attention to the way gears work, so didn't realize I WAS UNNECESSARILY IN FIRST GEAR THE ENTIRE WAY. It was 5:15 by the time I got to the eye doctor. They hadn't locked the doors yet, so I went in. I think the lady was going to tell me they were closed, but then she saw that I was pouring sweat, heaving and wearing a bike helmet. I think she felt bad that I'd worked so hard to get there just to be turned away, so she took me.

By the time I got done there and at the bike store, it was dark. I had to buy lights for my bike, actually. Which was fine. I probably needed them anyway. But then I had to bike home in the FREEZING COLD, downhill the entire way, so it was EXTRA BREEZY for me. I had snot running down my face the whole way.

By the time I got home, it was 7pm and I looked a mess. Why did I even bother putting on makeup and blow-drying my hair? I had to be at an event at 7pm, so on top of everything, I was late.

So that was my exciting adventure to the bike store. On the bright side, I got to see bunnies along the bike trail and got to eat a big sushi dinner because of the 1000 calories I burned today.

Badgirl

This weekend I went a little crazy and had chips, lasagna, Chick-Fil-A and In-N-Out Burger. I gained .4 lbs. this week. Oh well. WHUTEVAH, I'LL DO WHAT I WANT! (Total weight loss so far = 11.8 lbs.)

Fangirl

This weekend yielded many tales. We had our first 80's movie night on Friday, and then Saturday we took part in the Nevada Caucus. That's a long story I'm saving for later. Right after the caucus, we hopped in the car and drove to L.A. to see Brian's sister Erin at the premiere of her new play Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson. The show was great. Hear the musical numbers here.

At the show, I just about died when I saw John Krasinski from The Office. Here's me and my pal John:

He was a super-nice guy. I pretty much went up to him all fangirl-like and told him how awesome he was and asked for a picture. It was just before the show was about to start and we were both grabbing last-minute drinks at the bar. He was really nice and said thank you and no problem. Then I was all, "Wow, you're pretty tall, that's cool." And he was all, "Thanks, so are you." And that was about it. I said thanks and went into the show all jazzed.

Inside, I noticed he was sitting with Rashida Jones from The Office. After the show, we went to the premiere party in the lobby, and they were there. When she had a moment to herself, I went all fangirl on her too. I was shocked at how pretty she was. Her eyes are absolutely stunning. I was kinda taken aback. Unfortunately, I made a fool out of myself. I knew she was on The Office, but I remembered her from another show back in the day. I thought I was cool for remembering, so I asked if she used to be on the Drew Carey Show. She said no. OH CRAP. I then asked what show she did before The Office, and she said, "Boston Public?" I was like, YES!" How embarrassing... Anyway, she was super incredibly nice. I can't even stress how nice she was. She asked me my name and who I knew in the show. We actually talked for like a good five minutes about the show and who we knew in the cast and what she's going to be working on next. Here's me and my pal Rashida:

Notice how we're so close we're touching faces? That's cuz we're BFF's.

Anyway, I also ran into the guy who plays Sylar on Heroes at the show, Zachary Quinto. He's also going to be Spock on the new Star Trek show. He was also really super-nice. He introduced himself as "Zach" and asked what my name was and who I knew in the show. To be honest, I don't remember much about what we talked about because I was kinda scared he was going to kill me, like he does to most people on Heroes. Anyway, here's me and my boy Zach. See if you can spot his freaky Spock eyebrows:


So that was my weekend. I can't wait for Erin's next big premiere. Hopefully I'm allowed back for another one. :-)

Not as impressive

Well, it's not as impressive as 4.6 lbs., but at least it's something. Weight loss is so random! This week I lost .6 lbs. That brings my total weight loss in 9 weeks to 12.2 lbs.

Cloverfield sucked

We saw a sneak preview of that new J.J. Abrams movie. You know, the one that had the preview before Tranformers, where even after you watched it, you had no idea what the movie was going to be about. So yeah, it wasn't very good.

Spoilers ahead.

The thing that's destroying New York City is this giant, alien, sea-monster-looking, spider thing that runs around killing people and busting down buildings and birthing 3-foot spider creatures that run around and kill people. And if they bite you, your head explodes. Kind of a cross between Godzilla, Arachnaphobia, and the Blair Witch Project.

The good things about it were that it was pretty action-packed and suspenseful. That's about it.

The bad things were that it was virtually unwatchable because of the home video camera approach they took. Brian actually had to leave the theater for about 20 minutes so that he wouldn't throw up. Thank goodness it was barely an hour and a half long. Other bad stuff about it was the story, the acting, and the dialogue. I hated the characters, and quite honestly thought they deserved to get eaten by the monster. Total dumbasses.

Oh, and it pretty much had the same ending as the Blair Witch Project. How else would a movie shot like a home movie end? With the dumbass who can't put down the camera long enough to run away getting killed, duh.

So there you go. Cat's out of the bag and I saved you $10. Final grade: D+

Funniest one-liner I've heard in a long time

I hear Britney Spears is getting back together.

ba dum bum

Thank you, Doug Benson.

(This is a bad picture of him & me back in '05 at Comic-Con. He's been on Best Week Ever, Last Comic Standing, The Sarah Silverman Program, etc.)

Bow's Bullethole

The other day my friend from junior high reminded me of a funny story. Apparently, when we were 14, I had a problem with our other friend's dog, which was named Bow Wow. So I guess I re-wrote the words to Head Like a Hole by Nine Inch Nails in order to make fun of the dog. I guess when our friend heard the song I made up about her dog, though, she didn't think it was as funny as I did, and she got pretty upset.

So my friend started singing part of the song to me. It totally cracked me up, considering I had nearly no recollection of the story, or the song. Man, what was wrong with me back then? It's a good thing I've matured so much, I tell you that. ;-)

Anyway, here's all I can remember of the song:

...No, Bow can't take it,
No, he can't take it,
No he can't take the abuse from me...

Bow's bullethole,
Bloody and sore,
I'd rather die than feed you Alpo.

Bow Wow, you stupid ugly mutt,
You're going to get it in the butt.
Bow Wow, you stupid ugly turd,
You're going to get what you deserve.

Ah yes, good times...

I was all like, "Whuut??"

I had my first weigh-in of the year today. After my minor Christmas and New Year's indiscretions, I was jazzed to get back on the weight-loss horse. I thought maybe I had lost a pound. I mean, I've been good, but not THAT good. It turns out I lost 4.6 lbs. I was shocked. I had to get back on the scale and make sure. Yup, it was right. That brings my total weight loss to date up to 11.6 lbs. Woo-hoo!

Crack Band

WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO PLAY ROCK BAND FOR THE XBOX 360. It's like crack. I don't even like video games and I'm hooked on that shi*. And because it's a group game, we're all collectively hooked - Brian on the guitar, Brad on the drums, Alexis on the guitar/bass, and David and me on vocals/bass. We've gotten so far in the game that our band, The Hella Killers, has earned its own private jet. We are out of control. Trust me. Your safest bet is just not to start.

I'm okay, you're okay.

Healthy-eating-wise, this last week and a half has really sucked for me. It all started with Brian's Christmas party, which was catered and offered only fancy, delicious, mystery appetizers and alcohol. Then came our Christmas party, and all the tamales, Popeye's chicken, BBQ beef sandwiches, macaroons, cookies, and other crap our lovely friends brought to share.

Christmas day was a bad, bad scene. We had traditional Mexican food - more tamales, enchiladas, chile relleno, flan. Then came New Year's eve - lots of beer and salsa verde Doritos to be had there. And then there was New Year's Day. Apparently it's good luck to have black-eyed peas, cabbage (or greens), and pork on the first of the year. It brings prosperity. Who can say no to that? So I had some of that, and a little more. All I know is that the cabbage was sauteed in bacon fat. Who knows what the rest was cooked in.

So for all my unhealthy eating, I was PETRIFIED at my weigh-in today. To my surprise, all of that (plus more I didn't mention) only added up to a one-pound weight-gain. Not bad. That brings my total weight loss so far back down to 7 lbs. Whatever, no biggie.

The good news is that I'm super-amped to get back on track now that the fatty decadent holidays are behind me. We even bought bikes to help us get healthy. YAY! I can't wait till they come in. We are going to have so much fun!

Angry Karaoke

Last night was our annual Felguayo XXXmas party. We gave our friends their Xmas presents, which included custom-made CDs of our drunken karaoke night way back in October. I was waiting to blog about that night until I could post the audio, but it looks like that's never going to happen. So, while it's current in at least a few people's minds, here are photos of my 30th birthday: XXXth Birthday Party Pics. Make sure you see all the pages of photos. There may be 2 or 3 depending on which browser you're using. Good Times. :-)

Good girl

I lost 4.2 lbs. this time. That's for two weeks though, since I couldn't weigh-in in Arizona. That brings my total weight loss to 8 lbs. in 5 weeks. Not great, but not bad, especially given all the candy and cookies and shit people have been sending to my office lately.

I'm Home!

And it's never felt so sweet. I got back from Arizona Thursday night, only to drive to L.A. Saturday morning for the Tori Amos concert, which, by the way, was fricking awesome. We just got home a few minutes ago.

That's not what I wanted to blog about though. I had another celebrity sighting on this trip. This time it was Lawrence Fishburn at a restaurant next to the music center in L.A. I totally walked up to him and was all, "I choose the red pill," and he was all, "Dude, you're hilarious, no one's ever said that to me before," and Brian was all, "I'm not talking to you for the rest of the day."

Ok, not really. I mean, we really did see Lawrence Fishburn at the restaurant, I just didn't say anything to him. But wouldn't that have been funny?

Try not to die on the way home!

I've been doing a lot of traveling lately, so I've been saying a lot of hellos and goodbyes lately. One thing that I've noticed is that it totally freaks me out when, just before I head to the airport, people say, "Have a safe trip home!"

It's like, "Really? You really think my plane is going to crash on that one-hour commercial flight? I would never have thought so, until you raised the issue of safety right before I was about to board my plane." I also get paranoid that they've jinxed me. And that I totally would have had a safe trip home had they not said, essentially, "Try not to get burned alive on the way home!"

I mean, if one had driven there, and were about to take a very long road trip home, then, yes, it would be appropriate to raise the issue of safety and wish someone a safe drive. People die in car accidents all the time, and they totally die on road trips all the time. But on a one-hour Southwest flight? I think the odds are comparable to winning the lotto. It's like telling your friend, "Have a safe trip to the checkout stand!" or "Have a safe trip to the bathroom in your own home!" It's like, yeah, you COULD theoretically die doing one of those things, but it's not like there's this huge chance. It's just a ridiculous thing to say. And it causes undue stress. For me, anyway.

I'm taking an early morning flight out to Phoenix tomorrow for a five-day work seminar. Wish me a comfortable flight there!

I blame the pizza

This was not a good Weightwatchers week for me. I gained 6/10 of a pound. DAMNIT! After I didn't even have popcorn at the movies, or alcohol all week, or chicken wings on Saturday. It really pisses me off. I'm going to try to hit the gym like a madwoman this next week. I gotta get back to losing 3.5 pounds a week...

Total weight loss so far: 3.8 lbs.

Reno 411

I'm back from visiting my college bitchez! We had such an awesome time together. Let's see, we had drunken mani-pedis, sushi, shopping, movies, and a cuddle party. It was awesome to pick right back up where we left off. It's hard to believe we've known each other for 12 years now. (Actually, I've known Leslie for 21 years, but she's the exception - everyone else is 12.)

I think the secret to our long-lasting bond is the fact that we all revert back to acting like vulgar little boys when we're together. Which brings me to my favorite part of the weekend. You see, each time I see my bitchez, I learn new, horrible, vulgar things I never knew before. Just when I think I've heard it all, they manage to shock and appall. We all contribute something. Here's what I learned this weekend:

Prairie Doggin' - Reference definitions 1, 2 and 4.

Gunt

And, last but not least: FUPA

I, too, contributed by imparting my knowledge of "Superman" and "Robocop." I also got to teach the girls about merkins!

Friendships that run this deep don't come around too often, so I'm grateful for my girls. Here's a bonus one for today - in honor of my bitchez:

Tony Danza

You can check out photos of our weekend shenanigans here.

Screwed that one up too

National Blogging Month is now officially over! YAY! As you can tell, I failed miserably at that too. Oh well.

Gone to Reno to see some bitchez. Be back Sunday.