OMG!

We put an offer in on a house last night. It's so nerve-racking! It's a foreclosure, so there are multiple bids. You don't know what other people are bidding and you don't know whether your offer is good enough until it gets rejected and someone else's gets accepted. We're totally psyching ourselves out. Should we go $20k more? $40k more? Are we just overthinking it and throwing money away or is there another couple who wants an old house with a pool and an open floor plan in that area as bad as we do? So scary...

Anyway, here's a bad picture of the house at issue. The street view on google maps is way better. Email me and I'll give you the address. I don't want to post it here.

Dental Hell

My last appointment was by far the worst dental experience I've ever had. I cannot put into words how excruciating the pain was. It was worse than getting a dental implant drilled into my jawbone. Worse than getting my wisdom teeth out. Worse than having two root canals done in Mexico. Worse than heart surgery (and they shut my body down and sawed me open to do that sh*t!).

Long story short, a year after my root canal (American this time), my dentist figured out that my endodontist accidentally left a nerve in there, and that's why it never, ever stopped hurting. It started to hurt A LOT more recently because it got infected. The infection caused the novacaine they attempted to inject me with last week to have no effect. Something about the acidity and the pH being off. So, basically, I HAD A ROOT CANAL PERFORMED WITH NO ANASTHESIA!!!

No wonder it hurt so f%@$in' bad! See? I knew I wasn't just a whiny baby! Bastards...

I thought they stopped in the middle of the procedure last week because I was sobbing, shaking, and jerking so violently. I hyperventilated too (for the first time ever).

So today, I thought I was going back for more. You can imagine my joy when they told me they had gotten it all last time and that all I was there for today was an X-ray. Oh thank you Lord Baby Jesus!

They said it looked good for now, but I have to go back in two weeks to see if the pain stays gone. Fingers crossed...

Defeated

I am so incredibly exhausted. This weekend was crazy.

Friday night a big group of us went out for Alexis' 30th birthday. We started at the Hofbrauhaus then went over to the Beatles bar, Revolution, at the Mirage. $1300$1700 later (spent on tableside bottleservice), there was almost a fist-fight in our group, one of our friends disappeared until 8:30 the next morning, and our 400 lb. friend Brad was absolutely wasted. The only one half-sober enough to manage the situation was Shannon, who weighs about a quarter of what Brad weighs. Kudos to Shannon for somehow getting him into her car.
Saturday, I had promised my three nephews I'd take them to this kid's festival thing, so I dragged my ass out of bed after four hours of sleep to go see Spongebob and Spiderman in person. It was grotesquely hot and the boys were wild. On the bright side, this is the best birth control EVER.

I got to collapse for about an hour before going back out Saturday night for some more birthday festivities. This time it was a "surprise" birthday dinner followed by karaoke for my friend the Housekeeper. More drinking into the wee hours of the night. No fights or missing persons this time, but I did do a horrific rendition of Sublime's Santeria, for which I should be severely punished. God awful. Here's me and the Housekeeper doing our terrible duet, censored with a picture of my cat. Inside joke.

Sunday was Mother's Day. We started out nice and early (after 5 hours sleep) with a nice brunch at Roy's, followed by a visit to the Titanic exhibit with Brian's mom and two of my nephews. The baby was one of them that we took, which made for a super-exhausting time at the museum.

Later we met up w/ the Housekeeper, who shared her sweet hook-ups with us so that we could all go see Spamalot. I liked it a lot. Thought it was really cute. Brian, a Monty Python purist, had some OCD issues with it not being just like the movie. ((shrug)) I don't know. I've never been a huge fan of the movie, but I love musicals, and thought this one was really cool. Sidenote: I guess Alice Cooper was sitting behind us, but I didn't notice.

Today I think I got my punishment for that horrible karaoke song. I had two dentist appointments - one for my latest stubborn bastard of a tooth problem, and the other for a follow-up on my tooth implant. Both were devastatingly traumatic. I think I have an official fear of dentists, starting today.

We were supposed to have a make-up Mother's Day dinner tonight with Brian's stepmom, but I just can't do anymore. I'm going to go veg out in front of the TV for the rest of the night. I just can't take anymore fun.

I could not be cool, even if my life depended on it

First, the backstory:

About 9.5 years ago, I dated this guy, "Bad Jason." It was one of the most overwhelming crushes I ever had. The kind that made me daydream so hard, I'd run stop signs without even realizing it. I was totally gaga. It didn't help that he made out with me repeatedly, even though he wasn't really all that into me. He was very hot and cold -- mean to me sometimes, and absolutely flattering at others. Precisely the right formula for keeping me obsessed.

Things didn't really end in a definitive way with us. I went back to college and we lost touch. It took me several years to get closure on the situation. To finally realize that it wasn't at all the intensity of his feelings that was scaring him away. He was simply a typical 20-year-old male. Too cowardly to be direct, and too selfish to give up the action. When he was older, he told me these things, and I respected him for it. And I finally got my closure.

Fast forward to last Friday night:

I'm having Boba Tea in China Town with my husband, nephew and a friend, when, all of a sudden, Bad Jason comes over and says hello. Ho-ly crap.

I thought I did a pretty good job of playing it cool, actually. We chatted. We joked. We met each other's dates/husbands. We even gave them our table, since we were just about ready to leave anyway.

As I'm driving home, I'm really impressed with myself. I even made it almost all the way home without violating any traffic laws. But then, a horrifying realization: I forgot to pay the $45 tab back at the tea shop. Ho-ly crap.

I called the shop and begged them to let me pay over the phone with a credit card. They refused. We had to go back. The whole drive back, I'm trying to figure out how to handle the situation without letting on to Bad Jason and his crew. My entire goal here was to show how gaga I'm NOT anymore.

I walked in and it was immediately clear that they knew. Of course they knew. We chatted them up before giving them our table, you think the people that work there aren't going to hold them responsible for our tab? I was so embarassed. I pretty much paid the tab and ran away. SO not smooth.

Lesson #633: Don't ever get a dental implant with only a local anaesthetic

GOOD GOD. Yesterday, I had the worst dental experience of my life. One and a half hours of drilling into jawbone, jamming metal sockets in there and then LITERALLY jamming in screws with a socket wrench. There was a lot of unexpected water being splashed around and some tinkering with a chisel as well. Oh, and I got lucky and got the dingbat dental assistant on her first oral surgery. Bitch kept throwing heavy-ass tools down on my chest. The doctor had to remind her that she was dealing with a live person.

Today, my doctor called to see how I was doing. I told him the truth: "I'm in pain and I look like a monster, how do you think I feel?" I then chastised him for failing to give me valium before the procedure and told him it was the worst dental experience of my life. That's when he mentioned that they were going to start using an IV drip to administer some kind of sedative during the procedure from now on. Wow, that makes me feel a whole lot less traumatized. Fucker.

Cursed Dentistry

Anyone who has known me a while knows I have horrible luck with dentists. I go all the time and I still have problems. Nothing seems to ever get done right. I'm extra nervous today because I'm going to get a dental implant drilled into my jaw bone. With just local anaesthesia. Can't wait.

This Party's Dead Anyway

We took a tour of the coroner's office today for one of our new programs. I almost didn't go into the freezer, but I didn't want to be the only one in my group to wimp out, so I went in.

The smell is the first thing you notice. It smells like a butcher's shop, only it's more of a rotting meat smell mixed with some fishiness. It's extremely pungeant. I can still smell it in my hair and I was only in there a few minutes. The bodies aren't kept in drawers the way they are on TV. Instead, it's a big, cold room with the bodies lined up on gurneys. The bodies are mostly covered except for the blue frozen feet that stick out with the toe tags on them.

As soon as I walked into the room, physiology took over. My whole body tensed up. I couldn't move. I started breathing erratically. I got dizzy. I thought I was going to pass out. The whole time I just kept telling myself not to pass out, that it'd be over any second. I would never be able to live it down at work if I passed out.

When they tried taking us deeper into the freezer where they kept the miscellaneous body-parts, I stayed put. Rows of blue feet were pretty much all I could take. Plus, I don't think I could move, even if I wanted to. At one point, a door behind me opened suddenly and I jumped. I don't know why. I was just so on-edge. It was like being in a haunted house.

The rest of the program was held in a classroom. We saw a lot of grizzly car accident photos. All the way home, I was crazy paranoid that I was going to get into a horrible car accident. Which is something I worry about all the time anyway, but this just made it 300% worse.

So, yeah, it was an interesting day at the office.

Close Call

I almost got in an accident today in the Costco parking lot. It would've been her fault, but it still would have sucked. Somehow I was able to stop my car in time. Which surprises me, cuz my brakes kinda suck. I thought for sure I was going to hit her.

Apparently, I suck

This was supposed to be my New Year's resolutions blogpost, but then, as I was making my list, I realized that this year's list is not at all different from last year's. So I'm just going to keep the same list and note my progress where applicable. Here's my scorecard one year later:

1. Stop talking on the cell phone on the drive home from work. (I actually did pretty good with this one. I talk on the phone maybe once every two weeks now.)
2. Make a budget and stick to it. (We didn't do so well here. With the cat getting sick, it was hard to stick to a budget. Christmas was a killer too. But this month we're hiring a financial planner, so hopefully I'll do better this year.)
3. Buy a house. (Does it count if we returned it during the opt-out period? No, for real. This year, HOUSE!)
4. Finish my estate administration duties. (I'm just going to hire someone. It's obvious I can't do this.)
5. Go to bed every night by 10:30. (Not doing so well with this one.)
6. Visit the gym at least three times a week. (So far, so good.)
7. Get to work at 7am, NOT 7:30. (This one may have actually gotten worse.)
8. Do something interesting and different with my hair this year. (I dyed it red at one point. The people at work freaked. Everyone else said it wasn't that different. I think this year I'll cut it or else get bangs.)
9. Clean out the garage. (25% done baby!)
10. Eat breakfast before work. (Ha.)
11. Get invisalign braces. (Maybe next year.)
12. Get the damn tooth implant that I've been too scared to get. (Got the referral today.)
13. Keep the dishes clean. (Doing a little better.)
14. Watch the Netflix I've had for over 6 months, or else just cancel the damn subscription. (Cancelled baby!)
15. Finish reading those stupid books (Gave up. Too many magazines, too little time.)
16. Stop blogging/playing on the internet at work. (Done!)
17. Watch less TV in order to get all of the above done. (Done, surprisingly.)
18. Have a notebook handy at all times and actually jot down good ideas and interesting dreams. (Done, but never used.)

I got to say it was a good day...

Today I didn't even have to use my AK. Yesterday is an altogether different story. We went shooting with Brad. It was freezing, so I stayed in the car and gossiped for the most part, but I did get out a few times and shoot a rifle, a 357 Magnum, and an AK-47. Here are the pics from my camera. Brad has way more.