The Good Shepherd

We went to see The Good Shepherd on Saturday. I didn't like it. In part, I wasn't prepared for a three-hour movie. But I also think that if you're going to keep me in a movie theatre for three hours, there better be a damn good reason, and this movie just didn't justify that type of time commitment. I thought Angelina Jolie was terribly miscast. The story wasn't tight enough. The pacing was waaaaaaay too slow. There were too many simultaneous plotlines. And too many unnecessary characters that felt like Robert DeNiro was just trying to fit all of his friends into the film (including himself). The worst part was that there was no payoff for all of your attentiveness. I read a review afterward that said this movie left you wanting to see a better spy movie. That's exactly how I felt about it. Luckily, the trailers previewed two new spy movies coming out soon. Maybe one of them will be better.

Buzz Buzz Buzz

We watched Pan's Labyrinth last weekend. It _is_ as good as they say. It's a Spanish film, so look for it for sure in the foreign film category at the Oscars. Maybe even in the best actress category for the 11-year-old lead. Here's an interview with the director. It's definitely one to check out when it comes out in your area.

Those darn Boy Scouts

I always knew it was some kind of lawless street gang.

Boy Scouts Set Utah Wildfire

This song's always stuck in my head.

Close Call

I almost got in an accident today in the Costco parking lot. It would've been her fault, but it still would have sucked. Somehow I was able to stop my car in time. Which surprises me, cuz my brakes kinda suck. I thought for sure I was going to hit her.

Beauty and the Geek

...is my new favorite TV show. I love love love how nerdy the guys on the show are. They are so endearing. And the girls are so ditsy, it's hilarious. Brian and I like to play along with the contestants on the quiz challenge at the end of every show. He tries to answer the questions on fashion and pop culture along with the geeks and I try to answer the questions about politics and aeronautics alongside the beauties. It's actually pretty funny how geeky he is and how ditsy I am.

Does that make me racist?

The other day, I was walking out of the front lobby of my office, and this guy is standing right in front of the exit doors, staring at me. As I get close to him/the exit, he says to me: "Keshia?"

I was like, "No, sorry," and just kept going. But it kinda perplexed me. Isn't Keshia usually a black girl name? Do I really look like a Keshia? Then I felt bad. Was this guy just, like, totally progressive and I'm this stereotyping bigot for thinking it was a silly question?

Typhoid Cladeedah

The last two weeks, a bunch of people have been coming in to work sick. One day, we had 4 sick people all at once coughing and hacking and sniffling and snotting up their germs everywhere. I did not hesitate to give them crap about coming in. When they denied they were contagious or that they would get anyone else sick, I sent them each a link to this Wikipedia article about Typhoid Mary.

Basically, Typhoid Mary was this lady who was a dormant carrier of the Typhoid Fever virus. She refused to quit her job as a cook because she was in denial. She used fake names and got hired over and over again, infecting people every bit of the way. She infected 47 people, 3 of whom died. Ultimately, she died alone in forced quarantine. Yeah, sad story. Except for that the stubborn broad wouldn't have had to die alone if she'd just stayed home from work or become a telemarketer or something.

So now thanks to all the Typhoid Marys at work, I'm now sick as a dog. I have 3 huge trials tomorrow that I HAVE TO do. We're already one attorney down this week, and I can't continue these cases anymore. So it looks like I'm pulling a reverse Typhoid Mary on all those bastards that got me sick. Sorry guys, I ain't proud, but you did bring it upon yourselves.

Apparently, I suck

This was supposed to be my New Year's resolutions blogpost, but then, as I was making my list, I realized that this year's list is not at all different from last year's. So I'm just going to keep the same list and note my progress where applicable. Here's my scorecard one year later:

1. Stop talking on the cell phone on the drive home from work. (I actually did pretty good with this one. I talk on the phone maybe once every two weeks now.)
2. Make a budget and stick to it. (We didn't do so well here. With the cat getting sick, it was hard to stick to a budget. Christmas was a killer too. But this month we're hiring a financial planner, so hopefully I'll do better this year.)
3. Buy a house. (Does it count if we returned it during the opt-out period? No, for real. This year, HOUSE!)
4. Finish my estate administration duties. (I'm just going to hire someone. It's obvious I can't do this.)
5. Go to bed every night by 10:30. (Not doing so well with this one.)
6. Visit the gym at least three times a week. (So far, so good.)
7. Get to work at 7am, NOT 7:30. (This one may have actually gotten worse.)
8. Do something interesting and different with my hair this year. (I dyed it red at one point. The people at work freaked. Everyone else said it wasn't that different. I think this year I'll cut it or else get bangs.)
9. Clean out the garage. (25% done baby!)
10. Eat breakfast before work. (Ha.)
11. Get invisalign braces. (Maybe next year.)
12. Get the damn tooth implant that I've been too scared to get. (Got the referral today.)
13. Keep the dishes clean. (Doing a little better.)
14. Watch the Netflix I've had for over 6 months, or else just cancel the damn subscription. (Cancelled baby!)
15. Finish reading those stupid books (Gave up. Too many magazines, too little time.)
16. Stop blogging/playing on the internet at work. (Done!)
17. Watch less TV in order to get all of the above done. (Done, surprisingly.)
18. Have a notebook handy at all times and actually jot down good ideas and interesting dreams. (Done, but never used.)

Sac 'n Crack Update

This is a bit overdue. Please accept my late entry. So David finally went and got his Sac 'n Crack done. Here is a paraphrasing of my interview w/ him:

1. What position or positions were required? Two. Missionary and Doggie-style.
2. How much did they take off? Waist to waist (gesturing front to back)
3. Did you splurge and purchase the $5 numbing cream? Yes. (Lame!)
4. Was the $70 gift certificate sufficient to cover your needs? Yes. (Thanks for the advice, David's exes!)
5. Did it hurt? Yes. It was intermittent spurts of "blinding" pain.
6. What did the lady say who did it (if anything)? She was really nice. A good balance of comforting and professional.
7. Are you going to keep it maintained? Why or why not? No. Too expensive and too painful.
8. Does it feel different? Yes. It's definitely a new experience.
9. Overall, are you glad you did it? Yes. It's something that every man should try at least once.

So there you have it. See? I'm not mean. He liked his present. Every man should have one. Valentine's Day is just around the corner ladies...

New Year, New Template

I always liked this one better anyway.

Not blogging is actually a good sign.

It means I'm having too much fun doing other stuff. The last two weeks have been crazy. The week between Christmas & New Year's, we went out every night. In that time, we saw Cirque Du Soleil Love at the Mirage and the Phantom of the Opera Spectacular at the Venetian.

Love was amazing. It was less acrobatic than some of the other Cirque shows though, focusing instead on dancing, costumes, and really cool art direction. It's now my second favorite Cirque show (after Ka). I gotta say, the Cirque shows have never let me down.

Phantom, on the other hand, was dumb. It was so cheesy, I laughed out loud in some parts that I don't think were meant to be funny. Apparently, the Vegas version cuts out a lot of the character development for the Phantom and his relationship with Christine. So I had no love for the Phantom. I thought he was a loser, and being deformed didn't justify his being a stalker. I didn't really care too much about Christine either, actually. The singing in the show was good and all, I just thought the story and the art direction on the show were lame. Oh well.

I gotta get back to work now. I'll try to be better about the blogging, I swear. In the meantime, did you hear that the OC just got cancelled???? Feel free to discuss.

The nerve of some bitchez

Target cashiers are officially on this week's tripping list. The other day this snatch tried rushing me through my transaction. Then today, some little Target cashier ho-bag tried picking up on my husband!

I guess he was checking out, (I wasn't there, lucky for her) and this little ho was all, "Wow, you're tall. How tall are you? Blah blah blah..." You know, the usual. So Brian tells her, and then she's all like, "Wow. Is your girlfriend tall?" And Brian says, "Yeah, my WIFE is 6'5"." (Hint hint, bitch.) Then, (this is when the little ho-bag signed off on her own death warrant) bitch goes, "Oh. Well. Have you ever been with a short girl before?"

All Brian could think was, "Oh my God, you have no idea how quickly my wife would have snatched out your eyes just now if she had heard you say that." From then on, he just focused all his attention on the credit card keypad, all the while thinking, "My wife is going to find this girl and kill her if I keep talking to her." Damn right. Hooker is lucky I gave Brad back his AK.

Go JT.

Wow. Now I know exactly what I want for Xmas. (Hint hint, Brian.) This is not safe for work, I'd say.

I got to say it was a good day...

Today I didn't even have to use my AK. Yesterday is an altogether different story. We went shooting with Brad. It was freezing, so I stayed in the car and gossiped for the most part, but I did get out a few times and shoot a rifle, a 357 Magnum, and an AK-47. Here are the pics from my camera. Brad has way more.

Crockpot Mondays

"Why does this blog suck so hard nowadays?," you may be asking yourself. Well, you see, I used to blog on Mondays, but now that it's gotten cold outside, my Mondays are instead devoted to slow-cooking comfort food in the crockpot. By the time i get done shopping, chopping, etc., there's just simply no time for blogging. Like today. The good news is that in the last couple of weeks, we've enjoyed steak chili, french dips and bbq beef sandwiches. Today it's Chicken Cacciatore. And the whole house gets warm and smells good all day. Please understand. It's not you, it's the weather.

Random sidebar: There was a dead pigeon laying next to my car when I went out this morning. What am I supposed to do with that? I changed parking spots for now, and will probably have Brian process the dead bird when he comes home.

Some days you just can't win...

Today was so bad. Where do I start? Well, first, I got to work and I realized that I wore navy blue socks with my black suit and black shoes. Nice. At least I had matching shoes on today.

Then, on my way to court, I heard the new rumor that's been going around since the big court Christmas party on Saturday - that I must have robbed the cradle because my husband looks so much younger than me. Oh my gosh, if one more person suggests that I look old, I am going to KILL! WE'RE THE SAME FRICKIN' AGE PEOPLE! I WEAR SPF 15 ON MY FACE EVERYDAY DAMMIT!!

So then I went to the White Elephant party at work, swearing up and down I wasn't going to get stuck with the worst present this time, and then, sure enough, I got a broken animatronic snowglobe.

Also, while at the party, I mentioned to a co-worker that my boss (who has cancer) wasn't going to be at the party because he was sick. Well, she thought I meant sick like the flu and said, "Oh good!" in response because she's really uncomfortable around him. So I tell her that he's actually REALLY sick. Like in the hospital with cancer sick. So she starts feeling bad about being happy he was sick then says she'd totally feel like crap if he died. Yeah. Well, as if even having that conversation wasn't bad enough, it turns out his secretary totally heard it all. Man, I feel like an asshole.

Later in the day, I got a phone call about Moka - he's been at the vet since yesterday for more urinary problems. Looks like it's going to be another $500 just to find out what's wrong. Sh*t...

Even later that day, I find out that Brian's been art directing a nude photo shoot with strippers all day, and that yes, he had to touch them to pose them. Oh, and he's not going to be home until very late tonight because the ad is due tomorrow. "Oh, and, by the way," he said. "You're not allowed to get breast implants." WTF?

What is wrong with today??

Shoes

This morning, I accidentally put on one black shoe and one brown shoe. I've been walking around all day hoping nobody would notice. What a nerd!

Addendum

Woops, forgot to post the pic of Jesse cuddling the Wii one last time before giving it up until Christmas.

Wii like to party.

After weeks of calling all the local toy and electronics stores, and surfing the Wii-tracking web sites, victory is finally ours. We waited outside of Toys R' Us yesterday at 7 a.m., and were lucky enough to get a Wii for Briian, a Wii for Jessii, and a Wii for Daviid. The boys couldn't resist playing a little bit yesterday after we got home, but now the system is officially off-limits until Christmas.