Happy Baby Pippa!

Congrats to Nick & Laura on their new baby girl, Pippa. She's a month early, but she's healthy and cute, so why not?? Props to mom on her natural childbirth too!

My invisible voice

I think I sometimes talk at a tone level that some people just can't hear. Yesterday at Chipotle (where I eventually ended up having dinner - just my husband and me), I said something loudly and clearly (I know it was loud and clear, cuz even my poor deaf hubby heard it) to the lady behind the counter. She was like a foot and a half away from us, looking down, sorting salad or something. Anyway, she didn't even flinch! I said it again, and still no response. Guess I was just using my invisible voice again...

Should I Be Mean?

(FYI - I wrote a long post yesterday, but couldn't publish it b/c Blogger was being lame and not letting me post pictures. So whatever, It's passed. Stupid Blogger.)

Anyway, onto seedier things. So I'm torn on what to do on something. Yesterday my friend who's in town for a few days made plans with me. Full-on, time-specific dinner plans. Well, 15 minutes before we're supposed to meet for dinner, he tells me he's decided to go and feed homeless people dinner with his other friends instead. While it's fine and dandy that he went and fed homeless people, the fact remains - I was dissed!

We have plans tonight to go to jumpy-land. Now, in reality, I hate jumpy-land b/c it makes my bum knee hurt every time I go. But, as of yesterday, I was willing to forget this minor detail because I wanted to show my friend a good time. Now, all I want to do is tell him I'll be there at 7pm and then not show up. (Take that sucka!!)

I understand, however, that this move could be viewed as vindictive and immature. Still, I can't seem to fight off the desire to do it. Can I get some advice on what the proper response is in this type of situation please? From the cool, collected, objective point of view, I mean.

Thanks.

One more

Scary prom pictures

These are off an email forward I got. Maybe that quincenera dress wasn't so bad after all, eh??

Old news

A few weekends ago, James and I went down to watch some of my old air-hockey friends compete in the 2006 USAA World Air Hockey Championships. I was waiting for James to email me the photos he took of the final match, but he never did, so all you get is that old 2000 World Championships photo there.

Anyway, the tournament was as exciting as ever. Our pick came in third. His final game was VERY emotional. I know, that sounds ridiculous. But if you ever saw a professional air hockey game, you would understand. It's intense.

I didn't compete this time around cuz I am WAY out of practice. But, as long as I can get people to practice with me, I plan on playing next year. As soon as James gets back into town, we're going to pull off the old pink and white gels and get to it.

Cherry-pickin' daddies

So the other day I'm at Starbucks, looking at the menu, obliviously asking the clerk questions about the drinks. When I eventually make eye contact with him, I realize that I know him. It's my high school tech-theater teacher! (Awkward!!)

"Mr. Madsen?" I say. "Yes, it's me," he says, looking slightly disappointed that I recognized him.

We chatted a bit about his daughter, who was a few years behind me in school. We also talked about this group of kids he used to cherry-pick to star in the school plays and for the big techie jobs. It was always the same kids.

Turns out his daughter (who he used to cast in everything) is a waitress and struggling actress here in town. The other kids got married and got regular, non-theater jobs.

For some reason this all made me very happy. What this meant was that Mr. Madsen was terrible at spotting potential and terrible overall at making smart decisions. Otherwise, his pupil-picks would all be stars now (or at least working in the theater industry) and he wouldn't be 65 and working at Starbucks. No wonder he never picked me to be Head Lighting Designer! This explains everything!

I had no idea that this bothered me until that moment. I can't help but wonder. Would things have been different if this teacher had encouraged me to be a lighting designer? Afterall, I went and pursued a journalism degree after my Creative Writing teacher, Ms. Carducci, told me I would be a famous writer someday. And I went to law school after a professor told me I would make a great lawyer. I guess we'll never know. It's too bad this guy wasted all his cherry-pickin' skillz on the wrong kids.

Slackers don't mack and mackers don't slack.

Apparently, I'm no macker. This is just a real-quick shout out to my homies who still check my hobo-blog. I'm sorry cuddlies. I'll try to make it up to you w/ more lurid pictures soon enough though. I just did two trials. I got findings of Guilty on 4 out of the 5 charges. Woo! Only five trials left to go....

Stolen quiz

I stole this from Shannon. Here's who I am:

What Exploding Dog Art Are You?

You are "I Think I Need Some Space To Think!" How clever... just stop thinking so much though. Life isn't that hard to figure out.
Take this quiz!








Quizilla |
Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Still paying for it...

I'm STILL paying for my little quest to be on TV for the World Series of Pop Culture!!!...

1. Plane ticket to Dallas - $250
2. Hotel room for 3 nights - $90
3. Meals & transportation for 3 days - $150
4. 1 work day of vacation taken off - $???
5. Plane ticket to baby shower in Reno this weekend - $150

Attendance at the baby shower was part of our negotiations. My friend wouldn't let me take her husband to Dallas unless I caved on the baby shower. There's somethig SO not right about that. Anyway... so yeah, that's where I'll be from tonight until Sunday night... making good on my deal with the devil. :-P

Fak fak fak

I gotta do this fast. My husband is going to be so pissed when he comes home and finds out that I haven't done anything all day except play on the computer . So here are the pics that I failed to label/upload before (including more fun quincenera pics just for Shannon), plus pics of last night's dildo party. Vanessa did an amazing job. And we're all very excited to see how Rebecca's benwa balls experiment goes. So anyway, here's a little taste followed by all the new links.


V's First Dildo Party

More Quincenera Pics

Mas photos en Dallas

Moustache Party

James/Scott's Birthday

Filthy

Gizoogle it!

My blog in jive isn't actually that different than my blog in my-speak. Gizoogle your own page.

Bri-Curious

So Britney Spears is guest starring on Will & Grace tonight. I don't think I'm strong enough to avert my eyes.

Pop Quiz, Hotshot

Last chance to get on the World Series of Pop Culture is today. Take a timed online quiz today at 4pm and 7pm (Pacific). They say get there 10 minutes early to sign up.

Targhetto

Heh heh. "Target" in Japanese is pronounced "Targhetto."

Braggadocious

I got 139 out of 140 possible points on my Japanese midterm. I gotta admit I was kinda irked that I didn't get a perfect score. (That's the OCD talking right there.)

Looks like I may have gotten a deal

I thought $20 was bad. These guys paid $4300 for their burgers!

Free Money

I just noticed that the bastards at Wendy's didn't give me back my $15 change the other day, which means I paid $20.37 for a Spicy Crispy Chicken Combo.

I also just noticed that my credit card company helped itself to an extra $100 of my money this month, by forgetting to credit me a $100 rewards certificate they said they would give me if I booked a plane fare on that card. The guy on the phone was like, "Woops, sorry. We'll get right on that!"

Then today I got a bill from Cox Cable telling me I hadn't paid last month's cable. I thought that I had, so I went back and checked the online bill pay records. It turns out that I inadvertantly paid the wrong biller. Comcast Cable in Sacramento happily took my $42 on an account that has been closed for two years. So I've been on the phone with them for like an hour seeing if they'd be so kind as to give me my money back.

Today's very expensive lesson: keep better tabs on my money.

Redrum

So I had a trial set on Friday on this DUI guy I was looking to put in jail because of his prior record. Turns out he shot and killed his wife that morning. I can't help but wonder if the stress of trial had any influence on him.

Backblogged Again

I don't have time right now to post recent pics and the accompanying sordid tales. Here are just a few shots to highlight the last couple of really fun, crazy weeks:

The Moustache Party (Fri, 3/3/06) - Some kooky creative-types Brian knows had a party to showcase their new moustaches. Those that didn't plan ahead had to come up with an alternate plan.

My Cousin's Quincenera (Sat, 3/11/06) - Dude, seriously, it's my cousin, so I can't be mean. All I can say is that I'm SO happy my parents didn't do this to me.

James's Birthday Dinner (Tues, 3/14/06) - We ate at Fukuda. ("fukuda"... he he he). Good times.

Hanging out in Dallas (Sat, 3/18/06) - After getting our butts kicked at the audition, we tried on cowboy hats, played with bull balls, and rocked Laotian Karaoke (as opposed to Korean Karaoke).



Then we got trapped in our hotel by this crazy-ass flash-flood. (Sun, 3/19/06)

I dyed my hair red today...

Okay, it was really last Friday. I just wanted to use that Tori Amos lyric. But I did dye it. Brownish-red with bright burgandy highlights. (See most recent photos above).

Fu%$ That Fu^%in' Sh&*

We're out of the competition. I wish I could talk about it, but I can't. :-(

Gone Daddy Gone

Gone to Dallas, TX in search of my 15 minutes of fame. Be back Monday.

Such a sickly girl

((cough cough)) My throat & ear and head hurt, so I stayed home from work today. I'll admit, it totally doesn't take much to get me to take a sick day, but I don't care. If I'm even remotely contagious, I'm doing them a favor by staying home, as far as I'm concerned. So there. :-P

So this is good because now I can catch up on all the pop culture stuff from the 70s 80s and 90s that I still don't know. I am running off to the video store across the street now to get some movies for today and for the long-ass plane ride to Dallas via Tulsa tomorrow (don't EVEN get me started on how stupid it is that Texas law only allows you to fly into Dallas from 4 other states). Any suggestions on what I HAVE TO get in order study for this pop culture challenge? Here's what's on my list so far:

Weird Science
Animal House
Seinfeld on DVD
St. Elmo's Fire
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
Valley Girl

Fabulous news

Holy crap. Las Vegas now has a tall women's clothes store. How excited am I?

Why are the crazies so in love with me?

So last week there was an administrative meeting between the court and the prosecutor's office. It was your run-of-the-mill waste-two-hours-listening-to-a-few-people-complain and wonder-why-you're-there kind of staff meeting. Luckily, I didn't have to go, so I didn't.

I did, however, get the scoop from the girls in my office that did go. Apparently, this crazy clerk was complaining about me - some garbarge about me blaming her for something - I honestly don't know what she was talking about. Either way, it irked me that she went to a meeting I wasn't even at and tried to call me out for something she should have talked to me about directly.

So this morning I see her two-faced self in the hall and she is CRAZY sweet to me. Not just nice. CRAZY nice. She's all: "Hey gorgeous!" ((smile smile)) "How you doin' today, hon?"

Then just now I got this email from her, with this subject heading:

"I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT MARRIAGE LIFE AGREES WITH YOU. YOU ARE LOOKING REALLY NICE TODAY."

This is what the body said:

"I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT MARRIAGE LIFE AGREES WITH YOU. YOU ARE LOOKING REALLY NICE TODAY. YOU ALWAYS LOOK NICE ANYWAYS.

I DON'T THINK I HAVE EVER SEEN YOU IN A DRESS BEFORE. BUT YOU DO LOOK GOOD IN A DRESS. :)"

So I have a new theory about people that write messages in all caps, and it involves them being crazy and bi-polar.

Show me your bobas!

CRAZY DAY

I am so stressed. We got the email early this morning giving us our audition appointment in Dallas next Saturday for the World Series of Pop Culture Trivia. So I've been online and on the phone trying to work out travel details all morning. We actually have to compete against other teams at the audition, so I have only one week to cram as much pop culture trivia into my brain as possible. Eek!

It doesn't help the we're driving to LA tonight and spending the whole weekend on family stuff. My cousin's quincenera (15th birthday shindig) is tomorrow and then Sunday is my nephew Tony's 6th birthday, so we're taking him to Disneyland. It's crazy stressful/unorganized.

It also isn't helpful that my friend's birthday is Tuesday and that my Japanese midterm is Wednesday.

Fudge.

I just remembered that the 2006 AirHockey Championships are in 2 weeks. I really want to go, but I haven't practiced at all, and it looks like I don't really have time to at this point. :-(

Is this like some kind of weird RPG?

What a strange night. Tonight, a random group of us went to this fancy lawyer fundraiser at the Bellagio to schmooze with Senator Richard Bryan and to see this guy dressed like John Adams talk about the powers of the president. What a bunch of friggin' nerds. For some reason, I couldn't stop giggling the whole time we were there.

I think it was because we were totally blatantly crashing this very dignified event. Vanessa wanted to ask John Adams whether he thought Britney Spears and Kevin Federline would withstand the test of time. Shannon wanted to ask why he was against freedom. I was so relieved that neither actually did.

Anyway, here's us with Adams:

We actually met a pretty nice young attorney there named Rebecca. She was oddly accepting of us and our juvenile behavior. After the lecture, we wandered around the convention center looking for other events to crash.

Here's us outside a uniform convention with a Star Wars theme....


They told us we couldn't go inside though, which sucked. And just made Vanessa want to go in even more. Thank goodness we were able to drag her out before she could get us 86'd.

Afterword we all had a nice meal at Peymon's Mediterranean Cafe. I think we're going to try and recruit that Rebecca girl into our cult. Err... I mean group.

Birthday Boys

I have two super-great guy friends who have recently had or are recently having birthdays and I need to get them gifts. I'd like the gifts to be thoughtful and cool. Right now, I'm thinking mix tapes and cookies, but I know I can do better than that. Anyone got any better ideas for amazing birthday boy gifts?

Can't... stand... the wait...

Today is going to be a long and stressful day. I have tons of messy trials this afternoon, followed immediately by a Japanese test on the different ways to count objects. (For those who don't know, the Japanese have a special set of numbers for long and flat objects, another set for long and slender objects, another for round objects, another for general objects, and so on and so forth. So yeah, it's retarded and this test is going to bite the big one.

My consolation prize is a night of decadent TV. America's Next Top Model Cycle 6 premieres tonight with a 2-hour episode. I like these girls, just based on a quick review of the web profiles:



Sara - She's my favorite cuz she's TALL (6'1"), she's from Davis, CA (Go Aggies!), she likes Law & Order, and her lips are hot.









Jade - I like her cuz her look is unique.











Leslie - Her smile is super cute.

As if that weren't enough to satify my appetitie for fashion and scandal, the finale of the best show ever - Project Runway is right after. I have never been so excited for a finale in all my life. I'm actually rooting for Santino, the resident a$^hole. I think he'll do the best job of standing out. Plus I think he's hilarious and just got a bad rap on the show.

Any predictions for tonight's fashion & cattiness extravaganza?

The Pop Tarts Are Done

Awe yeahhhhhh..... The team has been officially assembled.

The players are:
1) My deliciously hot friend Jeanny (4'11")
2) My freakishly smart friend Jake (6'7"), and
3) Me (6'5")

We've sent in the online application for an audition appointment - now we just wait for verification and then we can book the plane tix and hotel for Dallas. YAY!

So they asked us to pick a team name - we chose The Pop Tarts, which isn't really all that original, I'll admit. But we literally went over dozens of other potential team names that were either way too nerdy or too pervy for mainstream tv. (I was personally a big fan of: "It'll hurt if I swallow," "The Va-J-Jakes," and "The Pop Smears," but the rest of the team said no. :-( ) We're still open to suggestions if anyone has anything better - or, rather, more mature.

POP-CULTURE FREAKS UNITE!!!

All this time... I knew this knowledge wasn't just wasting space in my head.

Ok, so VH1 is casting a show right now called The World Series of Pop Culture. They're looking for 16 three-person teams to compete for I don't know what. I don't really care though. All I know is that I NEED TEAMMATES!! Leslie, Vanessa, Jeanny, I'm talking to you! - plus anyone else who considers US Weekly their Bible.

Anyone interested in auditioning with me in Dallas March 18th/19th or in Atlanta March 25th/26th, CALL ME OR EMAIL ME RIGHT NOW SO I CAN RESERVE AN AUDITION APPOINTMENT!!

Like Crack

Ever since last week, I haven't been able to stop thinking of albums I used to have in high school that I really really wanted to listen to NOW. So I went nuts at the music store today. I'm really lucky they didn't have 30% of the albums I was looking for, cuz then I would have bought them too. Here's what I left w/ this time:

Pretty On the Inside - Hole
Live Through This - Hole
Celebrity Skin - Hole
The Rocky Horror Picture Show - 3 Soundtrack Box Set
Romeo & Juliet - Movie Soundtrack
Girlfriend - Matthew Sweet
S & M Airlines - NOFX


In my defense, one of the Hole albums was only $0.99, and all the others were used... except for NOFX. In fact, I was a little disappointed with the punk selection at Zia. My theory is that all the little punk kids must come daily and raid the place of all the used Pennywise and Minor Threat CDs, cuz there were hardly any left.

So Uninspired...

Here are pics from last weekend... Poker at Brad and Vanessa's on Friday and then Pampered Chef on Saturday. There aren't really that many, and they don't really tell a story or anything, but there are some pretty funny self-portraits of Shannon. (Sorry hon, it was for the greater good.)

Poker's not really my bag. The Pampered Chef party was a little chaotic cuz SOMEBODY wouldn't stop making dildo-party references and giggling while the demonstration was going on (RANDI & SHANNON!!). But I got my highly coveted garlic press, so it was cool.

National Nut Day

This was a bulletin I got from Shannon on MySpace. Go here to see what bizarre holiday falls on your birthday. Here's mine:

October 22 is . . . . National Nut Day

Shut up.

Not My House

I am so ridiculously uninspired... But I feel obligated to post anyway, so here's a little ditty:

Last night we went over to Brad and Vanessa's for our weekly Lost-viewing party.

Brad and V always yell "Come in!" when we get to the door, and we usually just let ourselves in. Last night, my poor deaf husband thought he heard them give the ok, so he opened the door and we walked in. All of a sudden, Vanessa comes out naked (or.. half naked? It was really a flash of flesh cuz she ran so fast), hides behind Brad, then runs upstairs. Uhhhhh... sorry 'bout that, there, walking in on your living-room-sex or whatever, guys. :-|

A few minutes later I clogged their toilet.

I wanted to make it three for three and burn popcorn in their microwave, but I was foiled by the "popcorn" button on the microwave. Oh well.

I'll have to think of more fun and exciting ways to play "Not My House" at Brad and V's.

Lazy Sunday at the Music Store

Yesterday I was thrilled to learn that Las Vegas actually has a pretty decent music store. Here I thought they'd all gone out of business. The store (Zia Records) inspired me to buy a bunch of angsty albums I used to listen to in high school. Here's what I got (& what I'm listening to now):

PJ Harvey - Dry
PJ Harvey - Rid of Me
Alanis Morrisette - Jagged Little Pill
Alanis Morrisette - Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie
Sinead O'Connor - Universal Mother

So if I seem a little angrier than usual this week, this is why. :-)

The Myspace Movie

Some parts of this were really funny (i.e., "do you want to see the angry beaver??"). It's pretty long, but you can watch one chapter at a time if you're short on time.. Anyway, here it is, the My Space Movie, courtesy of BJ.

Was that messed up?

Just now at Taco Bell, while I was sitting there enjoying my #4 Mexican Pizza combo, this crackhead lady with no teeth that was talking to herself in the restaurant walked up and asked me for a piece of my pizza. I refused to give it to her. Was that messed up??

More fun w/ Japanese

So, for once, I wasn't the only person getting laughed at in Japanese class tonight.

The teacher was asking us to say "Please give me ____" in Japanese. She asked us to pretend we were in Starbucks, so we could fill in the blank with our favorite overpriced, oversugared coffee drink. Brian apparently didn't hear her, so when it was his turn, he said (in Japanese), "Please give me your watch." The whole class laughed. I almost got up and yelled at them for being cruel to my poor, deaf husband, but I held back. They had no way of knowing, I guess....

Later, the teacher asked David to say, "Please give me an apple too." Instead, David said (in Japanese), "Please give me more of myself." The whole class laughed and laughed. Even our sweet, demure teacher had to turn away and chuckle.

Oh no they di'int!

Figures they would wait for us to move before they built an Ikea in Sacramento... bastards. They're probably waiting for us to move out of Nevada so they can build one here next.

Best Friend of the Weekend

I can't get enough of my new friend James.

Friday, he was in the neighborhood taking a big important test (that I'm sure he rocked), so we had a nice long lunch w/ some of my old pals. He gave me a really interesting CD that he'd searched for for over a week.

Later that afternoon, he came by my work for a quick tour of the court and the jail. We almost got locked in the jail b/c it was late in the day, there was a shift change, and the night people didn't know who I was. Talk about embarrassing.

Friday night, James came over to get help painting a trophy for one of his students. (Awwwe.. so nice.) In between doing that, we went out to eat and played Quip It w/ Brian and my nephew. Good times.

Saturday I went out and saw Capote (sans James). It wasn't as great as I hoped it'd be. It moved too slowly for my taste. Too much Oscar hype. Not enough James. (kidding) ;-) Final grade=B.

Saturday night was Brad's Loft Party. James came. :-) The best was when we all did stupid human tricks. Here are pics. The camera battery died before we did the bigtime tricks though. Bummer.

Sunday I saw the best movie ever - Eight Below (also sans James, BUT, the movie was good nonetheless :-P ). I know what you're thinking film snobs, but REALLY, this movie was excellent. I bawled my head off and I don't even like dogs! Final grade=A.

Sunday night, James came over to pick up his finished trophy. He spun my nephews until they almost threw up and then taught me how to play a fun song on the piano. My nephews and I were sad to see him leave.

Some people (like his ex-girlfriend) think it's weird that James and I have been spending so much time together. Brian doesn't really think it's weird, since he's used to my best-friend-of-the-week routine. I don't know if James thinks it's weird. I suppose I'll have to ask.

All I know is that the guy cracks me up and that I can't get enough of him. My hope is that this BFOTW turns out to be more like a Nick or a Greg, rather than a Sadie Jo or a Wally.

The Lawyer Coloring Book

Courtesy of my good friend Nick (who is moving to my town to be with me very soon, right???), it's The Lawyer Coloring Book.

VM letdown

Sorry kiddies.. the spoiler sites were wrong about the February airdate for the lesbian cheerleader episode of Veronica Mars. Here's the real story:

No New Mars Until March
"In order to avoid the competition of the Olympics and reunite Veronica with her Top Model lead-in, UPN has opted to delay the next few episodes of Veronica Mars until March. In the usual Veronica timeslot, the next few weeks will give us repeats:..."

Not funny...

The other night, I found myself reciting the story of "my favorite DV." (DV=domestic violence). Ok, I know DV isn't funny. It's very serious and sad and not fun. BUT, sometimes.. every once in a great while, the stories are so bizarre that you can't help but let out maybe a little teensy-weensy chuckle... as a defense mechanism only, of course... in order to cope... with how tragic the situations really are.

Today we had a DV case where an adult daughter got mad at her mom for staying out all night partying, so she pummeled her with potatoes. No one got hurt, mom admitted she was a jerk. All ended well.

I also had one today between two homeless, gay, interracial lovers. One guy got mad and set the other's tent on fire (with boyfriend in it!). It was actually a pretty bad case - the victim also got beaten with a chain and the firestarter got stabbed in self-defense. So yeah, bad.. but c'mon... there could be a potential Brokeback Mountain sequel in the works here... About a relationship that defies all of the odds... even arson.

Friends With Me

This is Red Flyer. He's my new friend from the Friends With You line of toys. His tag explains why he's special:

"Ever wonder what God looks like? Well this is him, and boy does he look different. At the subatomic level, he is literally the fabric of space as we understand it. He is what makes up the earth, the air, the water and, well, everything. Swipe your arms through the air and you are reconfiguring an unimaginable amount of Red Flyers. In his enlarged state, he offers invincibility and absolute power to his human companion."

I'll take this cute little guy over a new-best-friend-of-the-week anyday...

Best-friend-of-the-week

It never fails. Each time a new friendship develops quickly, it seems as though it's just a matter of time before it's over. Is it me or are the quick-to-be-clingy ones always just crazy?

Happy VD

Your Candy Heart Says "Hug Me"

A total sweetheart, you always have a lot of love to give out. Your heart is open to where ever love takes you! Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a surprise romantic evening that you've planned out Your flirting style: lots of listening and talking What turns you off: fighting and conflict Why you're hot: you're fearless about falling in love

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

Props

So we saw Matchpoint this weekend, and I really enjoyed it. I was surprised to see that the film only got one Oscar nomination (best original screenplay). It was a really clever flick though! Very engaging. Very entertaining. And I love ScarJo in general, but I ESPECIALLY loved her in this. Wet in a white shirt, making out in a field.. running around in her underwear... she was amazing.. :-) Her acting wasn't half bad either. Actually, thinking back, almost everyone in the movie was hot. Woody Alllen definitely knows how to put together a cast of hotties. The movie itself was this weird but cool combination of witty and funny and tense. It was really unique, which is like the #2 thing I look for in a movie (right behind entertaining). So yeah, definitely worth seeing in the theater. Final grade = A.

How to tell if you're an asshole...

If you go to your friends' wedding and do nothing but complain, criticize and exude anger and hostility, then you're probably an asshole. Next time do everyone a big favor and stay home.

Hell week continued

I am about 75% sure the judge reads my blog. (Hi judge!) So yeah, no more work talk on here.

Currently experiencing emotional difficulties...

This is not a good week...

Scarlett Johansson, Keira Knightley, and the luckiest man on earth...

The only thing that could have made this picture hotter is Rachel McAdams naked. Damn her for punking out!!

For realz?

Send a Fecalgram for Valentine's Day!

Lesbian Cheerleaders

Just found out that Kristen Cavalleri from Laguna Beach is going to be guest-starring as a lesbian cheerleader on my #2 favorite show Veronica Mars on Feb. 15. Oh no, too sexy!!

New pics

I posted pictures I should've posted a while ago on my mac gallery. Here are the many new and exciting links as well as a brief explanation:

Shannon & Simone's Birthday Dinner - Yes, we had to wait 2.5 hours to get a table at the Cheesecake Factory, but at least we got to see the boys cook up cola right there at the table!!

Poker Party at Brad's - Wait, what? You mean the whole world doesn't stop having fun just because I'm out of town? From what I hear, Vanessa kicked everyone's butts, but that's probably just cuz I wasn't there.

My Weekend in Sacramento - So yeah, I stayed w/ Megan F. in Sac, which was super-fun. We took a little road-trip to San Jose for a babyshower and to see her newborn nephew.. Then it was back to Sacramento for various stops down memory lane. ((sigh)) I miss Sacramento..

This last weekend - Erica came to town! - Friday we went to First Friday and had dinner at Tinoco's.. Saturday we had dinner at Bahama Breeze and then went to the Pinball Arcade/Museum (which rocks!). Then we went to see the Rocky Horror Picture Show at it's new venue, which was fine and dandy, I just didn't like the location for it. Then we had a kick-butt session of Korean Karaoke. Not pictured are Sunday's Superbowl Parties and Brad and V's and at James's.

Can't ... take ... anymore...

Lance Armstrong & Sheryl Crow Split

Is nothing sacred???

I'm really starting to lose faith.

Locklear Files for Divorce From Sambora

Are YOU a donut?

I had my first funny Japanese snafu in class tonight. The teacher was asking us to read out loud from the book and to interpret what we'd just read from Japanese to English.

One sentence structure we've studied alot is: "__(noun)__ desuka." Which translates to: "Are you a __(noun)__?"

Up until my turn, everyone got to fill in the blank w/ words we'd already learned. So now it's my turn to read out loud, and my sentence is: "Donata desuka." The teacher says, 'Ah, we have a new vocabulary word, "donata." What does this mean?' I tried flipping to the index to find out, but couldn't find it fast enough... It was dead silence, except for maybe some crickets chirping. The sensei urged me again: "Can you guess what this means?" So I gave it a shot: "Are you... (pause) ...a donut?"

The whole class laughed. WHAT? A lot of Japanese words are just converted English words (like hoppi owa and Amerika)! Why can't donata be donut?? Who knows what "Are you a donut?" is really a euphemism for? Those freaks buy teenage girl undies out of vending machines, for goodness' sake. How am I supposed to know what kinda freaky, deviant, breakfast pastry lines they like to use on chicks?!

So anyway.. later on, I overheard this girl a few seats down from me getting all frustrated because all she could think of when she read "donata desuka" from then on was: "Are you a donut?"

My newest toy

It's finally arrived... my highly-coveted Zojirushi Mr. Bento Stainless-Steel lined Lunch Jar.

A few weeks back, I was trying to find a cool birthday gift for Allison, when I came across this bento-box thermos-thing online. I just had to have it. Apparently, it's got four sealed bowls that stack and fit into this thermos container thingy that helps food retain its temperature. I can't wait to use it.

Allison got the one I sent her last week, but apparently she thinks it's freakish. Brian thinks it's kinda goofy. We'll see how they feel after they see all the awesome bento meals I take to work from now on.

We can dance if we want to

That was random.

Brian and I were picking some things up at Target after the gym tonight, when three artsy-looking guys came skipping around the corner, arms linked, dancing toward us, w/ "The Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats blaring from one of their bodies. It was quite the sight to see. I smiled at them and they smiled back, without even thinking of slowing down. They kept on dancing down the aisle... all the way across the store... past the checkout counters. I imagine they safety-danced all the way through the parking lot and into their car.

Weird (but cool).

28 welcomes you

Happy Birthday to Allison (my best friend), who turned 28 today.

I Know Nothing

So Friday night at the airport, I'm putting my shoes back on after going through security, when I notice these two Japanese girls having problems at the scanner. Apparently, they had a lighter in their bag and the clerk was trying to ask them how they wanted to deal with it - throw it out, mail it back to themselves, or take it outside. So she yells out, 'Does anyone know how to say "matches" in Japanese??'

I perked up and got excited. My first instinct was to jump up and say, "I'm taking a Japanese class, how may I be of assistance?" But then I started going over my Japanese vocabulary in my head: "My name is Claudia." "How are you?" "It's very nice to meet you." "Hello." "Goodbye." "Good morning." "Good evening." "See you later." FUCK! Nothing about matches at all! I quickly realized I wasn't as useful as I had hoped to be.

My next thought was to look up the words in my Japanese text, which I happened to have on my carry-on. By the time I got it out and flipped to the index, though, the girls were already heading out to dispose of the lighter. And "matches" wasn't anywhere to be found in my book anyway.

So yeah.. It kinda bummed me out that I didn't know enough Japanese to help the situation.

Sayooonara

I'm flying to Sacramento tonight to see old friends and to attend a baby shower in San Jose. Be back Sunday night.

Gan batte kudesai!!

Tonight was the first night of our Conversational Japanese class. Brian, David and I are planning a trip to Japan for later in the year, and thought it'd be cool to enroll in a Japanese class.

Tonight we did basic pronunciations and some common expressions. It was nice to be back in a classroom after [GASP!] four years. I totally felt like one of those obnoxious over-achieving "non-traditional students" though. You know the ones.. the ones that take one class "just for fun," ... who know all the answers to all the questions ... and who prolong the class by asking endless stupid questions we don't need to know for the test. Yeah, I think that's going to be me. I really want to do well in this class.

Brian thinks I'm on crack, but I think knowing Spanish is super-helpful for learning Japanese. Not because there are any similarities in the vocabulary or anything. But just because my mouth is used to pronouncing words that English-only speakers aren't used to pronouncing. So when they say "matte" in Japanese, I just think of how I pronounce "tomate" in Spanish, and it sounds virtually identical. It will be interesting to see if the teacher notices a Spanish accent on my Japanese.

(OH, and gan batte kudesai = Do your best!)

Not too bad

So thanx to Randi, I looked myself up in the Urban Dictionary and here's what I got.

LMAO

Heh. I just figured out that means "laughing my ass off." (Shut up.)

I just used my iTunes giftcard to buy Eminem's greatest hits album, Curtain Call on my friend Megan Fidell's recommendation. I'm LMAO. It's fabulous.

So worried...

I am so worried about what's going to happen to the 28-year-old reporter taken hostage a few weeks ago in Iraq. I can't stop thinking about it.

The iPod Shuffle Gods Are Smiling...

I just got back from Day 2 at the gym. Tonight's workout mix kicked ass!:

"In the Garage" by Weezer - just imagine the yelling at the end: "No one hears me sing this song!" (My resulting epiphany: Teen angst is an insanely good workout motivator.)

Followed by "The Finale" from Les Miserables on full blast. Nothing like a broadway-calibur cast belting out the chorus to get your blood pumping: "Do you hear the people sing? Singing a song of angry men? It is the music of a people who will not be slaves again! When the beating of your heart echoes the beating of the drums, there is a life about to start when tomorrow comes!" That is SO my next ring tone.

And last but not least, Jesus Walking On the Water by the Violent Femmes. It's the fiddle!! That thing makes you feel like doing the Ashlee Simpson hoe-down dance right there on the elliptical runner!! No seriously, try it. It's crazy!

Anyway.. there were some less cool songs in there too, but I just thought these were so randomly great, I just had to share. :-)

Work Out Mix

So 3 weeks after making my go-to-the-gym-more-often-resolution, I'm proud to announce that I finally got off my ass and went to the gym tonight. YAY ME! I'll be up to 3 gym days a week in no time..

It's been so long since I was at the gym that I wasn't prepared with a good workout mix tonight. In fact, I've pretty much decided that I'm sick of all the music on my iPod, so it's time to change. I need suggestions for songs I can work out to por favor. Angry chick singers are a plus. Songs w/ slow starts that explode into angry punk anthems are good too. Retro is cool too - as long as the beat is quick and inspirational. So I got this iTunes giftcard from xmas burning a hole in my wallet. Whatcha got for me?

Movie Review: Brokebutt Mountain

I had heard mixed reviews about this film, but, personally, I loved it. And not just for the raw, hot, grunting, gay sex either. And not just for the giggle-inducing, double-entendre dialogue in the opening scenes either.

Actually, the gay sex was kept pretty confined to one scene. Primarily, the film told a heart-wrenching love story, and set it beautifully in a backcountry paradise. I had no trouble getting into the characters and their story. I bawled like a little baby by the end of the movie... though I must admit that the subject is one I'm particularly sensitive to. (I just cannot comprehend homophobia/gay-hatred/gay-bashing. It's just so pointless and tragic.)

Heath Ledger did an amazing job. I was less impressed w/ Jake Gyllenhaal, but he did an a'ight job nonetheless. Michelle Williams of Dawson's Creek fame (aka, the girl Heath Ledger impregnated while making this film - method acting much?) did surprisingly well.

Oh, and here's a bonus tip in case it helps you to decide whether you should see this film: you get to see Anne Hathaway's boobies, which came as a complete shock to me, since the last movie I know of that she was in was THE PRINCESS DIARIES 2!!! Go Anne Hathaway!

Actually, the movie loses points for Anne Hathaway's goofy hair transformations over the course of time and for the crappy job the make-up artists did aging the actors. Other than that, I thought it was a moving, aesthetically inviting, thought-provoking film. Final grade: A-

Final sidenote: Shannon prefers to call it "Bareback Mountain." Which do you think is funnier, brokebutt or bareback? I much prefer brokebutt for its overt crassness. :-)

But it'll hurt if I swallow...

How come everyone thinks I'm faking?? For the record, I really am sick. Ok, not so sick as to be unable to sit through a two hour movie, but still too sick to negotiate and argue and put on trials for 9 hours. My throat is killing me. My glands are swollen. My sinuses are coated in flem. And I'm probably contagious. At what point am I sick enough not to go to work?

So Tristan and Isolde was kinda dumb. It was a cross between Braveheart and Romeo and Juliet, so maybe you'll like it if you're into that. Me, I don't like these Shakespearean type of love stories where people meet and inexplicably fall in love, so I didn't care very much about the characters. I was just really indifferent about the whole thing. Plus, I'm not a 12-year-old girl or a gay man, so I wasn't all hot for the young male lead - the kid who plays the Green Goblin's son in Spiderman. I don't remember his name now and I'm too lazy to go look it up. James Franco, I think? And the girl lead just wasn't hot enough. So the movie gets a D+.

Oh, and just a quick shout out to Shannon - thanks for giving my 11-year-old nephew my blog address! He's already posted a comment! You can all thank Shannon for this blog going PG from now on.

PS - The title of this blogpost is PG - remember that commercial??

Feeling much better all of a sudden..

Brian has a bunch of free tickets to see Tristan and Isolde toniight at 7pm at the Palms. Call one of us if you're interested. I'm sure my sudden turn-around is due to my taking it easy at home for the day. :-)

Sick Daze

So I called in sick today. I think that's like the 5th time in the year and a half I've worked there. Is that bad? I actually have been hoping for a sick day lately. Sometimes it's just nice to stay home in your pajamas, have soup, and watch tv while everyone else is at work.

Brian has been sick for about two weeks now. With my ox-like immune system, I thought I'd managed to avoid getting what he had, but now it doesn't appear that I was so fortunate. I've had the same horrible headache for about 24 hours, my throat is dry and scratchy, my body is sore, and I'm a little dizzy and light sensitive. Hopefully this is as bad as it'll get.

Strange things are afoot at the Circle K..

Before I forget, and since I wore it tonight, I just wanted to say thanks to Greg and Ally for this customized tshirt that they got me for Xmas. (Thanks also for the iPod armband!) Very appropo!

Rose Tint My Ass, Tropicana Cinemas!

I heard a vicious rumor that the Rocky Horror Picture Show was no longer playing at the local discount theater. After calling around and poking around on the internet, I found out that the rumor was TRUE.

But, my fellow tranny-lovers, there's no need to despair. It looks like both casts have found new homes. Frankie's Favorite Obsession premieres at its new location, Hamburger Mary's, on January 21st. And Divine Decadence seems to have a new, albeit shady, home at the Take 1 Night Club.

I'm definitely interested in checking out the show at Hamburger Mary's in 2 weeks. Anyone else game?

My new crack

'
Thanks a lot Housekeeper.. now I'm hooked on Project Runway. I Tivo'd my first episode last night - a rerun I think - the one where they had to design lingerie. I cried at the end. WHAT? That's right, I cried. WHAT OF IT?! With it's addition of catty gay men contestants and Apprentice-like challenges to the Top Model formula, how could a show like this not work? Or, rather, "work it?" And, you're right, Heidi Klum is the most adorable pregnant person ever.

I can't believe it!

Chad Lowe and Hilary Swank are kaputs!

My "O" Face

Friday night, Brad, Vanessa, Shannon, David, James, Marie, Marie's man, Jesse, Brian and me went to First Friday. We ran into a bunch of people there, including one of my victims from work (a girl who was almost kidnapped, but she fought the guy off), the student body president/homecoming king of my high school, and this woodcarver who mistook me for Rebecca Lobo (I played it up the whole time - I'll post the full story on the tall blog later). As always, First Friday was a good time.

Saturday night, Brian & his family and me went to see Cirque Du Soleil: "O" at the Belllagio. Brian and I had given his family tickets to the show for Christmas, which ended up being a really good idea, since everyone loved the show and got to spend time together. The show was pretty darn cool. I'd say it's my second favorite Cirque show now, after Ka. Watching it made me hate Le Reve even more. I can't believe what a rip-off La Reve was of this show!

So now we've seen 4 of the 12 Cirque shows (Mystere, Ka, O, & Dralion - Le Reve doesn't count cuz it's techincally not a Cirque show). For Valentine's Day, we'll probably see Zumanity.

Well well well..

Lookie who got herself a purse just like mine..

Bad TV: The Results Show

I can't believe they kicked off the funny guy from Sports Center and kept Master P...

:-(

Resolutions-smesholutions

So did anyone else catch the TWO HOUR season premiere of Dancing with the Stars last night???? It was surprisingly good! I'd never heard of WWF Superstar Stacy Kiebler before, but now, after last night, my money's on her. She is g-g-g-gorgeous!

Lisa Rina was looking pretty good too. Tia Carrere (of Wayne's World) got sympathy points for doing this a month and a half after giving birth.. And the host of SportsCenter also got sympathy points for being amazingly cute and funny, even though his dancing sucked. Master P (father of Lil' Romeo) on the other hand, gets no props from me. He didn't even try! Poor Ashley DelGrosso (his cute chunky professional dancer partner) won't get very far this season.. I suspect they'll be going home tonight.

So yeah, good stuff..

Resolutions

Resolutions suck. LIke I said before, I've done a piss-poor job this week of fulfilling mine. Oh well.. let's just get them out there, if just for the sake of pretending:

1. Stop talking on the cell phone on the drive home from work - Daytime minutes are a killer, as is my driving on the 95 when I'm on the phone.
2. Make a budget and stick to it.
3. Buy a house.
4. Finish my estate administration duties.
5. Go to bed every night by 10:30. (HA!)
6. Visit the gym at least three times a week. (HA HA!)
7. Get to work at 7am, NOT 7:30.(HA HA HA!)
8. Do something interesting and different with my hair this year
9. Clean out the garage
10. Eat breakfast before work
11. Get invisalign braces
12. Get the damn tooth implant that I've been too scared to get.
13. Keep the dishes clean
14. Watch the Netflix I've had for over 6 months, or else just cancel the damn subscription
15. Finish reading those stupid books
16. Stop blogging/playing on the internet at work
17. Watch less TV in order to get all of the above done. (HA HA HA HA!)
18. Have a notebook handy at all times and actually jot down good ideas and interestign dreams.

Flavia-FLAV!

For Christmas, my wonderful husband got me a Flavia Fusion Drinks Station. So far, it kicks butt. Basically, it's a one-cup coffeemaker, only it's a lot cooler than most others on the market. It makes cappuccino, espresso, tea, hot chocolate, mocha, coffee, and other assorted hot drinks. It's also cool cuz there is no clean-up involved. The drink packet/pod is the filter and the coffee, so you just pop it in and throw it away when it's brewed.

One drawback so far though is that the coffee packets are only available online, and they're pretty pricey. For example...

.43 per packet of specialty coffee or tea (like chai or vanilla)
.32 per packet of chocolate
.20 per packet of whipped topping (for cappuccinos, lattes & other frothy drinks) and
.41 per packet of espresso

The other thing is the size - each packet only makes about 8 oz. of coffee, not counting the frothy stuff. So to get a regular 16-18 oz. Starbucks sized drink, you're looking at about a buck. Which is still better than Starbucks, but not as cheap as a regular coffeemaker or making tea the old fashined way. Of course, you can't make a Milky Way Cappuccino in your old coffee maker.

The time-saving factor is nice too. It makes each packet in about 20 seconds. That's much better than the 5-20 minute wait at Starbucks in the morning. Nevermind the fact that there's no Starbucks (or any other coffee shop) within a 5-mile radius of my job.

I just spent $150 on an online order for coffee refills though.. which is kind of startling. I'm keeping the box and the receipt for the machine, just in case I find anything better in the next few weeks. So far though, it looks like the husband picked a good one. Any pod-coffee-maker users out there have experience with other comparable machines? If so, I'd love to hear your thoughts..

Also, if you are interested in buying one, let me know and I'll email you this promotional thingy they want me to whore my friend's email addresses out for.

Hot Lunch

Now this is a real coincidence. Just days after learning what a "hot lunch" was, it came up during a conversation w/ my boss and the judge. The judge was telling us about a lady down at the indoor swap-meet who used to pay guys to hold a glass bowl over their faces while she shat in it. My boss wittily pointed out that if you took the bowl away, you'd have a "hot lunch."

I couldn't find the doorknob fast enough. (Damn, I have an interesting workplace.)

Reno New Year's Extraordinaire

Boy, do I take lots of pictures. Two pages worth this time. You'll get the links in a second, but first the backstory..

We flew up to Reno for the New Year's weekend. Things didn't necessarily go as planned, but that was okay. The plan was to play in the snow and party in Tahoe New Year's Eve. That plan was foiled when Carson City, the place we'd planned to stay that night, declared an emergency evacuation because of flooding.

So our party moved to Reno instead.. Saturday we stalked our old friend Jae Yi, who we hadn't spoken to in about 6 years. We put our stalker-skillz to work and found a potential address for him. Then 10 of us - a random mix of friends from college and high school - showed up on his doorstep. Only it wasn't his doorstep. Turns out he'd moved just a few short days earlier. Damn.

So we inititated plan B. We called his parent's house in Vegas and got his new cell #. I love trusting family members.. Anyway, we met Jae for sushi later that night, which was a really good time. Mission accomplished.

Then it was off to exciting downtown Reno for some New Year's Eve action. The boys we met up w/ had some absinthe (that's read "ab-synth," not "abs in the" or "a.b.s. in the," as some might think. Inside joke, nevermind..) Anyway, the boys had absinthe in their hotel room, so they got nice and liquored up for the festivities.. Meanwhile, the rest of the group shared a nice, warm bottle of tequilla on the street just before midnight.

Shannon was the mack-momma-supa-star of the night, w/ her choice of 3-4 boys. (We suspect one was gay). Unfortunately, the one she chose wasn't quite able to finish out the night outside of the bathroom. (No wonder that shit's illegal..) Too bad for her..

Shannon's consolation prize is that she gets the "most-amazingly-cool-ex-girlfriend" award for not even batting an eyelash at the prospect that her ex-boyfriend David *might* be snogging the girl we were staying with. Props.

The weekend continued w/ lots of horrible, disgusting, immature, perverted euphemisms for sexual acts.. for example: the "Bismarck" and the "dirty sanchez".. warning, that link is horrifying..

New Year's day we finally got some snow action up on Donner Pass. It even snowed in Reno on Monday. So ultimatley we got our snow play adventure. And our absinthe adventure. And our Bismarck adventure.. Good times.

As promised, here are the pics w/ no captions and no fun themed background for now cuz I have no time!!

Reno Pics Page One and Reno Pics Page Two